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Best test paper blunders from the most clueless - and inventive - of students

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

* Classical Studies *
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin

* Biology *
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie

* Classical Studies *
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones

* Biology *
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death

* Biology *
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television

* Religious Studies *
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony

* Physics *
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels.
Answer: Fire

* Geography *
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

* Geography *
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria

* Geography *
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

* History *
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LOVESLIFE48 2/1/2012 7:05PM

    emoticon

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BARCLE 2/1/2012 12:38PM

    emoticon creativity reigns lol emoticon emoticon

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Of course she's a blonde...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

My father and I belong to the religion of Sikhism. We both wear the traditional turban and often encounter strange comments and questions. Once, in a restaurant, a child stared with amazement at my father. She finally got the courage to ask, "Are you a genie?"

Her mother, caught off guard, turned red in the face and apologized for the remark. But my dad took no offense and decided to humor the child.

He replied, "Why, yes I am. I can grant you three wishes."

The child's mother blurted out, "Really?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 2/3/2012 1:08PM

    LOL

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BARCLE 2/1/2012 12:34PM

    Love it!

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GRANDMA624 2/1/2012 5:45AM

  I have many blond moments and I'm not a natural blond. emoticon emoticon

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3RDBABYWEIGHT 1/31/2012 11:11PM

    emoticon

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CHIEF_GEEK 1/31/2012 10:43PM

    lol

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SWEETSOUNDS11 1/31/2012 10:25PM

    Funny stuff. I have my own blonde moments every now and then despite the darker hair color.

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Fallen

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

There was an old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear one more person confess to adultery, I'll quit!"

Well, everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen".

This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at a ripe old age.

About a week after the new priest arrived. He visited the mayor of the town and seemed very concerned.

The priest said, "You have to do something about the sidewalks in town. When people come into the confessional, they keep talking about having fallen."

The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had told the new priest about the code word.

Before the mayor could explain, the priest shook an accusing finger at the mayor and said, "I don't know what you're laughing about, your wife fell three times this week."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 2/5/2012 1:39PM

  emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 1/31/2012 1:13PM

    oops indeed

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ALICERIEGER 1/31/2012 10:44AM

    Oooops! Thanks for the chuckle.

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If Only You Had Looked...

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Two men waiting at the Pearly Gates strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first man asks the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first man. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second man. "You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first man. "You see, I knew my wife was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found her alone, knitting. I rushed down to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran up to the second floor, but found no one there either. I went as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second man shakes his head. "That's so ironic," he says.

"What do you mean?" asks the first man.

"If you had only stopped to look in the freezer, we'd both be still alive."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 1/31/2012 10:46AM

    Why we have to learn to behave ourselves. Thanks

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GRANDMA624 1/31/2012 5:37AM

  emoticon emoticon

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LINMHEATH 1/31/2012 2:12AM

    LOL -awww.. i feel kinda bad for laughing at that one...

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Polish sausage

Monday, January 30, 2012

Everyone seems to be in such a hurry to scream 'racism' these days:

A customer asked, "In what aisle could I find the Polish sausage?"

The clerk asks, "Are you Polish?"

The guy, clearly offended, says, "Yes I am. But let me ask you something. If I had asked for

Italian sausage , would you ask me if I was Italian?

Or if I had asked for German Bratwurst, would you ask me if I was German?

"Or if I asked for a kosher hot dog would you ask me if I was Jewish?

Or if I had asked for a Taco, would you ask if I was Mexican? Or if I asked for some Irish

whiskey, would you ask if I was Irish?"

The clerk says, "No, I probably wouldn't."

The guy says, "Well then, because I asked for Polish sausage, why did you ask me if I'm

Polish?"

The clerk replied, "Because you're in Home Depot."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 2/2/2012 10:30AM

  emoticon emoticon

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GRAMMAP1 1/30/2012 9:36PM

    Uh Huh, Good one! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CJSARGENT1 1/30/2012 5:15PM

    hohohoh loved it

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ELLFIN3 1/30/2012 2:38PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 1/30/2012 12:11PM

    LOL

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ALICERIEGER 1/30/2012 11:06AM

    Thanks to you I can start my day with laughter.

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SIMPLIFYLIFE 1/30/2012 10:21AM

    Awesome.. giggles.. thanks for the laughs...

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PEEDLE 1/30/2012 7:26AM

    I don't know how you come up with all of these,
but keep it up.
I enjoy light-hearted fun.

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MRE1956 1/30/2012 6:37AM

    D'oh!

emoticon

emoticon

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GDY2SHUZ 1/30/2012 2:02AM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing.

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RIEUADMIRER 1/30/2012 1:53AM

  I nearly choked laughing at this! You have just brightened my day!
Regards Sylvia

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