SUNSHINE65   67,467
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Some Police Quotes

Sunday, January 29, 2012

"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"

"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

"Just how big were those two beers?

"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 2/3/2012 5:27AM

  emoticon emoticon

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STILLAMARINE 1/29/2012 3:30PM

    How big were those two beers? THat's great! I can't think of how many times I've been told theyve only had two beers! But that one time I had a guy tell me he had 3, I knew he was going for a ride!

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ALICERIEGER 1/29/2012 12:44PM

    I like them. Thanks

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MZZCHIEF 1/29/2012 12:19PM

    Thanks for the smiles.
Ya, I can image police officers get to hear a lot of tall tales... prime breeding ground for snarky comebacks!

: )
Mzzchief

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STRINGS58 1/29/2012 11:36AM

    good ones!

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MRE1956 1/29/2012 8:08AM

    emoticon

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GRAMPIAN 1/29/2012 6:00AM

  I enjoyed these! emoticon

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I would have given him 100%

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Q 1. In which battle did Napoleon die?*
his last battle

Q 2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?*
at the bottom of the page

Q 3. River Ravi flows in which state?*
liquid

Q 4. What is the main reason for divorce?*
marriage

Q 5. What is the main reason for failure?*
exams

Q 6. What can you never eat for breakfast?*
Lunch & dinner

Q 7. What looks like half an apple?*
The other half

Q 8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become?*
It will simply become wet

Q 9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?*
No problem, he sleeps at night.

Q 10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand?*
You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.

Q 11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ?*
Very large hands

Q 12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it?*
No time at all, the wall is already built.

Q 13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it?*
Any way you want, concrete floors are very hard to crack.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TUTUNAN 1/28/2012 2:07PM

    Love your blogs...........

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BARCLE 1/28/2012 1:16AM

    I certainly would have too - that's my kinda smartass emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 1/27/2012 10:17AM

    Three cheers for orginality. Someone was thinking out of the box.

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GRANDMA624 1/27/2012 5:39AM

  Cute emoticon

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AANGEL3 1/27/2012 2:13AM

    emoticon

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LE7_1234 1/26/2012 11:52PM

    Thanks for the laugh! emoticon

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Get Your Own

Thursday, January 26, 2012

One day a group of scientists got together and decided that man had come a long way and no longer needed God. So they picked one scientist to go and tell Him that they were done with Him.

The scientist walked up to God and said, "God, we've decided that we no longer need you. We're to the point that we can clone people and do many miraculous things, so why don't you just go on and get lost?"

God listened very patiently and kindly to the man. After the scientist was done talking, God said, "Very well, how about this? Let's say we have a man-making contest." To which the scientist replied, "Okay, great!"

But, God added, "Now, we're going to do this just like I did back in the old days with Adam."

The scientist said, "Sure, no problem" and bent down and grabbed himself a handful of dirt.

God looked at him and said, "No, no, no. You go get your own dirt."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 1/26/2012 11:58AM

    Great! A point we sometimes forget.

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SEYSARAH 1/26/2012 1:55AM

    Loved this, thanks so much for sharing!

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Dumbest People Ever?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

- A medical student was working in the toxicology department at the poison control center. A woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. The student told the mother that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room right away.

- Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the work field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator that is automatically activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed there.

- A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture of handcuffs.

- A woman was reporting her car as stolen, and mentioned that there was a car phone in it. The policeman taking the report called the phone and told the guy that answered that he had read the ad in the newspaper and wanted to buy the car. They arranged to meet, and the thief was arrested.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRGREER 1/27/2012 10:18AM

    Sad, but funny. I like the one with the speeder and the police exchanging photos. I applaud them both for their sense of humor, but surely the offender sent payment with the next correspondence. LOL

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SUECHRIS50 1/26/2012 7:57PM

    stupid is as stupid does!!

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BARCLE 1/26/2012 7:40PM

    Lol, some people emoticon emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 1/26/2012 2:40PM

    Kill the ants?!?

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CJSARGENT1 1/26/2012 1:56PM

    too funny

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ALICERIEGER 1/26/2012 12:01PM

    I always enjoy your blogs. Thanks for sharing.

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SKMINNY 1/26/2012 11:57AM

    That's funny!

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ERIN1957 1/26/2012 11:46AM

    LOL too funny! thanks for the laugh!

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MRE1956 1/26/2012 6:08AM

    emoticon

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GRANDMA624 1/26/2012 5:49AM

  emoticon

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JSPEED4 1/26/2012 5:36AM

    I really like that last one!

I lived, for a few years, in a place where the only phone service was via those big car phones. They were really handy for a while.

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Ya Gotta Read This Myth Bustin' Article!!!

Monday, January 23, 2012

http://blogs.webmd.com/food-and-nutrition/
2012/01/5-nutrition-myths-that-just-wo
nt-die.html?

ecd=wnl_wmh_012312 emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 1/24/2012 2:07PM

    Good Article. I'm surprised at the water thing tho'.

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