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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

A New Year's Wish

Saturday, December 31, 2011

On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living.

Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck - the bartender was almost crushed to death.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 1/2/2012 10:49AM

  Too cute!! emoticon

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FITB4-40 1/1/2012 8:04PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 1/1/2012 7:45PM

    Poor guy!

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HONDABLONDE 1/1/2012 8:55AM

    LMAO thanks for the chuckle! (I needed that.)

Debb
XOX

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ECONLADY 12/31/2011 5:56PM

    emoticon

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Musical Instruments

Friday, December 30, 2011

A man and and his wife were browsing in a crafts store when he noticed a display of country-style musical instruments.

After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, he picked up a shiny, one-stringed instrument he thought must be a mouth harp.

Putting it to his lips, he twanged a few notes on it - much to the amusement of other shoppers.

After watching from a distance, his wife came up and whispered in his ear, "I hate to tell you this, honey, but you're trying to play a cheese slicer."

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTBIRDY 12/30/2011 6:01PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 12/30/2011 12:13PM

    I call that creative thinking. Thanks for the chuckle.

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PEEDLE 12/30/2011 11:10AM

    Havin started off this day with frustration, this chuckle was just what I needed!
Thank you.
Mary Lou

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GAILRUU 12/30/2011 9:35AM

    Funny!

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 12/30/2011 7:19AM

    Cheesy! Love it! emoticon emoticon

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MAMAWLINDALOU 12/30/2011 6:54AM

    emoticonLaugh of the day.

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ALASKASKY 12/30/2011 6:53AM

    emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/30/2011 2:13AM

    emoticon Thank you for sharing and making me laugh tonight!!!

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ALICIA214 12/30/2011 12:47AM

 

Love it Thank you!!! emoticon

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ECONLADY 12/30/2011 12:46AM

    emoticon

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The Rules of Chocolate

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

- If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.

- Chocolate covered raisins, cherries, orange slices & strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

- The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

- Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

- If calories are an issue, store your chocolate on top of the fridge. Calories are afraid of heights, and they will jump out of the chocolate to protect themselves.

- If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINDAF49 12/30/2011 12:50PM

    emoticonGood for my spirits but not for resolution to cut the carbs...now seriously - which chocolate is best for low carb?


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ECONLADY 12/30/2011 12:47AM

    I like the one about heights. This reminds me of what a friend told me. There are four basic food groups: dark,semi,milk and white.

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MARYB73 12/29/2011 7:11PM

    You always have something to brighten this Oregon weather.

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GGMOM06 12/29/2011 4:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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EILISH99 12/29/2011 3:42PM

    emoticon

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REACHING4HOME 12/29/2011 3:35PM

    I love this. I think these should be posted in every single candy store and birthing room so families know what to expect if they have a girl.

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NAYPOOIE 12/29/2011 12:33PM

    I already knew that!

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ILOVETOCRUISE 12/29/2011 8:38AM

    This is great. I agree.
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ELSCO55 12/28/2011 10:22PM

    Love it

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Ways to Confuse Santa

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 12/27/2011 4:06AM

    What are you trying to do, supplement your winter heating by getting a stocking full of coal?

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GRANDMA624 12/25/2011 12:31PM

  I'm not one to mess around with Santa!! emoticon

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SWEETSOUNDS11 12/24/2011 11:54PM

    Too funny!

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Ways to Confuse Santa

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POOH_BEAR_69 1/23/2012 11:00PM

    Poor Santa... He already gets tortured in the mall by all the rugrats... This is adding insult to injury! emoticon

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2BEATIT1 12/27/2011 11:37AM

    That's a different take on Santa. lol

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ALICERIEGER 12/27/2011 10:28AM

    Personally I like Santa - I wouldn't want to confuse him, He might forget to leave my present!

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REDRUDY5 12/25/2011 1:18PM

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IDLETYME 12/25/2011 6:24AM

    Great - Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/25/2011 1:22AM

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MARGIE4230 12/24/2011 9:42PM

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