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Ways to Confuse Santa

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.

While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.

Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.

While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.

Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!

Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa."

Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.

Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney. Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.

While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.

Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy. :)" Leave another plate out with half a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note that says, "For Santa."


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POOH_BEAR_69 1/23/2012 11:00PM

    Poor Santa... He already gets tortured in the mall by all the rugrats... This is adding insult to injury! emoticon

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2BEATIT1 12/27/2011 11:37AM

    That's a different take on Santa. lol

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ALICERIEGER 12/27/2011 10:28AM

    Personally I like Santa - I wouldn't want to confuse him, He might forget to leave my present!

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REDRUDY5 12/25/2011 1:18PM

  emoticon

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IDLETYME 12/25/2011 6:24AM

    Great - Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 12/25/2011 1:22AM

    emoticon


emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARGIE4230 12/24/2011 9:42PM

    emoticon

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You Better Watch Out...

Friday, December 23, 2011

As we were putting out cookies for Santa on Christmas Eve, I accidentally dropped one. "No problem," I said, picking it up and dusting it off before placing it back on the plate.

"You can't do that," argued my four-year-old.

"Don't worry. Santa will never know."

He shot me a look. "So he knows if I've been bad or good, but he doesn't know if you dropped a cookie on the floor?"

emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 12/25/2011 12:33PM

  emoticon

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KICK-SS 12/23/2011 8:34PM

    Sometimes these little ones are too smart for their own britches!! That was cute and I can sure see a child saying that....

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CJSARGENT1 12/23/2011 7:20PM

    love it

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REACHING4HOME 12/23/2011 4:57PM

    I love it! Kids really do say the darndest things.

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YELLOWDAHLIA 12/23/2011 12:33PM

    LoL- that's funny!

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NAYPOOIE 12/23/2011 11:37AM

    Of course he knows! What were you thinking?

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ALICERIEGER 12/23/2011 9:39AM

    Ah!! The wisdom of children. Thanks

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Be specific.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

A ten year old daughter asked her mother what a colon was and she explained that it was a part of the body that food goes through before being eliminated. Then the girl asked her what a semicolon was and the mother told her that it was a colon the size of a truck with eighteen wheels.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 12/23/2011 9:32AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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REDRUDY5 12/21/2011 2:42PM

  emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 12/21/2011 2:21PM

    That should have confused everyone. LOL

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FAITH2BWELL 12/21/2011 5:37AM

    LOL LOL LOL LOL.

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Hotel Security

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A friend and I stayed at a Chicago hotel while attending a convention. Since we weren't used to the big city, we were overly concerned about security.

The first night we placed a chair against the door and stacked our luggage on it. To complete the barricade, we put the trash can on top. If an intruder tried to break in, we'd be sure to hear him.

Around 1 a.m. there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" my friend asked nervously.

"Honey," a woman on the other side yelled, "you left your key in the door."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RITACAKE 12/29/2011 2:04PM

    Oh Well

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ALICERIEGER 12/20/2011 11:50AM

    That sounds like something I would do!

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NAYPOOIE 12/20/2011 10:38AM

    it happens

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JOABEHR 12/20/2011 7:25AM

    Too Funny! You guys are safe now! emoticon

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A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here, but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train."

Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 12/15/2011 5:56PM

    So typical of those who try to judge people by their own circumstances. Brings that point home in a humorous way.

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AQUAGIRL08 12/15/2011 3:19PM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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THEWINNER33 12/14/2011 6:27PM

    WOnderful

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BG670III 12/14/2011 12:52PM

    lol

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NAYPOOIE 12/14/2011 12:39PM

    LOL

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GRANDMA624 12/14/2011 10:42AM

  emoticon emoticon

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CHIEF_GEEK 12/13/2011 11:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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REMARAHAB 12/13/2011 11:08PM

    YUK, YUK!

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