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Maybe this is why they don't teach music in high school any more.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Following are actual answers from students on music tests...

- The principal singer of nineteenth century opera was called pre-Madonna.

- Gregorian chant has no music, just singers singing the same lines.

- Sherbet composed the Unfinished Symphony.

- All female parts were sung by castrati. We don't know exactly what they sounded like because there are no known descendants.

- Young scholars have expressed their rapture for the Bronze Lullaby, the Taco Bell Cannon, Beethoven's Erotica, Tchaikovsky Cracknutter Suite, and Gershwin's Rap City in Blue.

- Music sung by two people at the same time is called a duel; if they sing without music it is called Acapulco.

- A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals.

- Contralto is a low sort of music that only ladies sing.

- Probably the most marvelous fugue was the one between the Hatfields and the McCoys.

- I know what a sextet is but I'd rather not say.

- Johann Sebastian Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic.

- Rock Monanoff was a famous post-romantic composer of piano concerti.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARBABY60 10/12/2011 5:10AM

    GOODNESS!!!! emoticon scholars they are not!

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MARYB73 10/8/2011 9:16PM

    As usual, I love it.

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ALICERIEGER 10/5/2011 6:58AM

    Good one!

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AANGEL3 10/4/2011 4:43PM

    emoticon

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JESS0107 10/4/2011 10:14AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 10/4/2011 9:06AM

    Great!! emoticon emoticon

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DFROMTX 10/4/2011 6:51AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LAURA_RED 10/3/2011 11:52PM

    emoticon

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You Know You Have Had Too Much Coffee When...

Sunday, October 02, 2011

*Juan Valdez names his donkey after you
*You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked
*You grind your coffee beans in your mouth
*You sleep with your eyes open
*You have to watch videos in fast-forward
*You lick your coffee pot clean
*Your eyes stay open when you sneeze
*The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse
*You can type sixty words a minute with your feet
*You can jump-start your car without cables
*Your only sources of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low"
*You don't sweat, you percolate

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REACHING4HOME 10/8/2011 9:19PM

    I READ THIS AT THE RECOMMENDATION OF ANOTHER NEBRASKA TEAM MATE AND SHE WAS RIGHT - IT IS A RIOT. BUT HERE IS AN ABSOLUTELY TRUE ONE THAT I HAVE DONE MYSELF. I HAVE STIRRED A BIG SPOONFUL OF INSTANT COFFEE INTO MY FIRST CUP OF REGULAR COFFEE IN THE MORNING AFTER A BAD NIGHT. NOW THAT'S PITIFUL!
ERIN

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GOLDFISHLIZ 10/3/2011 5:59PM

    Love it! Give me caffeine, even tho I should be drinking water.........
emoticon emoticon

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MARTHASPARKS 10/2/2011 2:57PM

    Hilarious and I don't even drink coffee.

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LADYIRISH317 10/2/2011 12:31PM

    "Too much coffee?" Ain't no such thing!


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DFROMTX 10/2/2011 9:46AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GRANDMA624 10/2/2011 9:19AM

  emoticon emoticon

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SHOAPIE 10/2/2011 8:55AM

    emoticon

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GOHUSKERS2 10/2/2011 8:46AM

    These are great. I love typing 60 words a minute with my feet! LOL Thanks

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IDLETYME 10/2/2011 8:01AM

    Words of wisdom - Thanks!! emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 10/2/2011 7:33AM

    Sounds like me. Thanks

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BLUEANGELLK 10/2/2011 7:25AM

    Love it!!!!

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IMEMINE1 10/2/2011 7:02AM

    emoticon

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Top Ten Reasons Eve Was Created

Saturday, October 01, 2011

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.
9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.
8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.
7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.
6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put he garbage on the curb.
5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.
4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.
3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.
2. As the Bible says, It is not good for man to be alone!
1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IDLETYME 10/3/2011 10:15AM

    Great - love those! God understands men better than we do and was planning ahead for their " shortcomings"!

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DFROMTX 10/2/2011 9:48AM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 10/1/2011 9:33PM

    Love it! Thanks for sharing.

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NTSOHLTHNT 10/1/2011 8:42PM

    Yup, that's about right. God always knew what she was doing....

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PARKERB2 10/1/2011 6:46PM

    Thanks for the upbeat blog. I agree with them.

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Horror Movie!

Sunday, September 18, 2011

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEBLUE 9/22/2011 12:57AM

    emoticon emoticon

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IDLETYME 9/19/2011 12:51PM

    Spooky!! emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 9/19/2011 8:59AM

    That could be a little scary.

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TINY67 9/18/2011 5:18PM

    emoticon emoticon

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Back to School

Friday, September 16, 2011

It was the first day of school after summer vacation. The kids had all arrived in the high school sophomore English class, and were chatting away, making new friends. Then In walked a very stern looking English teacher and a hush fell over the room as the kids scurried to their seats. The stern teacher silently panned his gaze across all the kids.
After about a minute or so, he spoke..."From the outset, I want you all to know that there are two words that are absolutely unacceptable in this classroom. You cannot use them as you recite, or in any of your papers, tests, or homework. Using these words even once, will get you a failing grade for that quarter.

The first one is "gross"

And the other one is "cool"

Are there any questions?"

After a few moments of silence, this gawky teen at the back of the room raises his hand, and the teacher calls upon him. In a pubescent croaking voice, the kid asks...

"So, what are they?"


(DUH!)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 9/19/2011 8:56AM

    That I can believe!

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NTSOHLTHNT 9/16/2011 7:53PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ELLFIN3 9/16/2011 3:33PM

    Oh My Goodness!!!!! emoticon Thanks! Enjoy the rest of Your day!!! emoticon

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JESS0107 9/16/2011 9:30AM

    emoticon

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MICKEYMAX 9/16/2011 8:26AM

    cute!

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AZURELITE 9/16/2011 7:13AM

    Hahahahah!

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BLUEKITTYGP 9/16/2011 2:16AM

    Isn't it the truth! emoticon

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