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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Hospitable State Patrol

Thursday, September 08, 2011

One snowy evening my brother, a regional police officer, stopped a car at a roadside check for drunk drivers. "Good evening, ma'am," he greeted the lady. "How are you this evening?"

"Fine, thank you," she replied.

My brother continued, "Anything to drink this evening?"

Surprised, the lady answered, "No, thank you."

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 9/9/2011 9:53AM

    Perfect answer!

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JESS0107 9/9/2011 9:32AM

    Too cute!!!

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Mixed Metaphors

Sunday, September 04, 2011

English professors love to catch the errors students make in their term papers, and they love nothing better than to catch mixed metaphors. The "friends and survivors" of Calvin College English department collected this list of mixed metaphors and posted them on their web site:

"He swept the rug under the carpet."
"She's burning the midnight oil at both ends."
"It was so cold last night I had to throw another blanket on the fire."
"It's time to step up to the plate and cut the mustard."
"She's robbing Peter to pay the piper."
"He's up a tree without a paddle."
"Beware my friend...you are skating on hot water."
"Keep your ear to the grindstone."
"Sometimes you've gotta stick your neck out on a limb."
"Some people sail through life on a bed of roses like a knife slicing through butter."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MICKEYMAX 9/7/2011 9:12AM

    those are pretty fun!

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GRANDMA624 9/6/2011 6:05AM

  I love them!! emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 9/5/2011 11:44PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 9/5/2011 5:25PM

    You've done it again. Thanks

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HARTKITTY 9/5/2011 12:48PM

    These are great emoticon

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MARYB73 9/4/2011 11:21PM

    Clever and funny, as usual.

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The Rabbit Problem

Thursday, September 01, 2011

The problem - There's a box with a hole at each end and there's a rabbit in the box. The rabbit sticks his head out of the hole in one end, and a minute later he sticks it out the other end.

Half a minute later, his head appears at the opposite end, a fourth of a minute later it appears at the end opposite to that one, an eighth of a minute later... etc., etc.

How long will it take before the rabbit sticks its head out of both ends of the box at the same time?

In theory, two minutes. In practice, no answer is possible unless, of course, you split hares.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 9/3/2011 8:39AM

  emoticon emoticon

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NTSOHLTHNT 9/2/2011 4:10PM

    emoticon

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DIDMIS 9/2/2011 3:56PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MARYB73 9/2/2011 3:11PM

    As usual, your blogs give me a chuckle. Keep them coming.

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ALICERIEGER 9/2/2011 9:53AM

    I love your posts. Please keep them coming.

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AZURELITE 9/2/2011 6:35AM

    LOL - Where DO you find these gems!!!???
Thanks for the goodie, and thanks for keeping things light!!!
Have an awesome Friday and a super weekend!
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This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:

Monday, August 29, 2011

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."

A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.

The wife asks him, "Why on Earth did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"

The husband replied, "They had eggs."

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEBLUE 9/4/2011 12:53AM

    I would have sent him. Back to the store to exchange, he knew perfectly what you meant but he decided to get what you said. Smart elect.

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NTSOHLTHNT 8/30/2011 7:53PM

    Exactly!

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GROEDER 8/30/2011 7:30PM

    I understood completely!!!!!! HA HA HA!

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DIDMIS 8/30/2011 7:18PM

    He did what she asked. For once the man was right. Yeah all you men.


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JESS0107 8/30/2011 10:11AM

    emoticon

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IDLETYME 8/30/2011 8:34AM

    You really need to be specific with men!!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 8/30/2011 8:22AM

    How true!

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SKMINNY 8/30/2011 8:07AM

    Ha ha ha!

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AUNTHELEN 8/29/2011 11:39PM

    emoticontypical! Thanks for the giggle.

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"How DRY IS It in Texas??"

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

A buddy out of Longview said he'd killed a mosquito that was carrying a canteen.

A man in Dime Box said the chicken farmers were giving the chickens
crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

In Lake Palestine, they caught a 20 lb catfish that had ticks on it!
But just this week, in Bryan, a fire hydrant was seen bribing a dog.

It's so dry in Texas that the Baptists are starting to baptize by sprinkling,
the Methodists are using wet-wipes,
the Presbyterians are giving out rain-checks,
and the Catholics are praying for the wine to turn back into water.

Now THAT's Dry!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NELLIEBLUE 9/5/2011 1:46AM

    That was good for a good laugh.

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ALICERIEGER 8/31/2011 10:51AM

    Thanks for another good laugh!

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IDLETYME 8/26/2011 8:15AM

    That is really dry!!! I think we've had enough!! emoticon emoticon

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JESS0107 8/25/2011 9:54AM

    emoticon That is too dry!!

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