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Shame on you!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

My 7-year-old daughter came home from school one day, held up her middle finger, and asked me what it meant. I was so shocked that I could say only, "Shame on you," followed by, "If anyone does that to you, just say, "Shame on you" to that person.

Next week we were at the dinner table when my husband let out a huge belch. I reprimanded him by saying, "Shame on you."

Imagine my husband's shock when my daughter held up her middle finger, showed it to him, and exclaimed, "Mom, you forgot to give Daddy the 'shame on you' sign."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LARRI2010 8/21/2011 12:38PM

    emoticon

I have a friend from Vietnam. When she first came to this country, she would ride around with her cousin, who had been here a while. My friend would see people all over the place holding up their middle fingers. Her cousin said that was the American way of saying "hi." So she went around for days, waving her middle finger in the air to everyone she met. Until someone told her what it really means. Oops!

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SHARBEAR100 8/18/2011 7:39PM

    Hilarious!! emoticon

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SHARBEAR100 8/18/2011 7:39PM

    Hilarious!! emoticon

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SHARBEAR100 8/18/2011 7:39PM

    Hilarious!! emoticon

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SHARBEAR100 8/18/2011 7:38PM

    Hilarious!! emoticon

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MARLIZG 8/18/2011 12:33PM

    funny emoticon

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JSPEED4 8/18/2011 12:41AM

    emoticon

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DIDMIS 8/17/2011 7:36PM

    She learned quick.

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NTSOHLTHNT 8/17/2011 6:28PM

    LOL, that's funny!

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REACHING4HOME 8/17/2011 3:38PM

    What a hoot! How old is your daughter? My daughter came home one day and asked me what a "dildo" was. I was so shocked I didn't know how to answer. But she just stood there so I told her it was a "toy" that some grown ups used. A month later, at Christmas time, with the entire family there, I handed my husband his gift from me and
my daughter said right out loud, "Maybe it's a dildo!" I thought I would die!
Erin

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JESS0107 8/17/2011 10:26AM

    emoticon Oh my goodness!!

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ALIHIKES 8/17/2011 1:19AM

    This really made me smile! Thanks for sharing


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Seaside cure

Monday, August 15, 2011

A New York retail clerk was suffering from aching feet. "It's all those years of standing," his doctor declared. "You need a vacation. Go to Miami, soak your feet in the ocean and you'll feel better."

When the man got to Florida, he went into a hardware store, bought two large buckets and headed for the beach.

"How much for two buckets of that seawater?" he asked the lifeguard.

"A dollar a bucket," the fellow replied with a straight face.

The clerk paid him, filled his buckets, went to his hotel room and soaked his feet. They felt so much better he decided to repeat the treatment that afternoon. Again he handed the lifeguard two dollars. The young man took the money and said, "Help yourself."

The clerk started for the water, then stopped in amazement. The tide was out. "Wow," he said, turning to the lifeguard. "Some business you got here!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/16/2011 9:45AM

    I don't know where you get all of these stories but thank you for sharing.

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GOHUSKERS2 8/16/2011 5:12AM

    That's cute.....thanx for the chuckle!
emoticon

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MARYB73 8/15/2011 8:57PM

    I am glad I don't live in New York. They would charge me to flush the toilet.
I like your new picture.

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NTSOHLTHNT 8/15/2011 6:59PM

    emoticon

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ELLFIN3 8/15/2011 3:40PM

    emoticon

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JTREMBATH 8/15/2011 2:49PM

    Very good thank you for that.

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Open Her Up!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

A fellow bought a new Mercedes and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. "There's no way they can catch a Mercedes," he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100.... Then the reality of the situation hit him. "What am I doing?" he thought and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. "It's been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it's Friday the 13th. I don't feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven't heard before, you can go." The guy thinks for a second and says, "Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!" "Have a nice weekend," said the officer.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/15/2011 10:50AM

    lol Thanks

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MELISSAJANEY 8/14/2011 6:45PM

    I really lol'd. emoticon

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NTSOHLTHNT 8/14/2011 6:36PM

    . emoticon emoticon

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Riots in the UK

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Did you hear Jay Leno say: "Big riots in the United Kingdom. You can tell it's England because they're rioting on the other side of the street."

Not a laughing matter...but just a small chuckle...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 8/12/2011 7:36AM

    A small chuckle is better than nothing. Thanks.

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An Accident Report

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I am writing in response to your request for “additional information.” In block number 30 of the accident report form, I put “poor planning” as the cause for my accident. You said in your last letter that I should explain more fully. I trust that the following detail will be sufficient.

I am an amateur radio operator. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the top section of my new 80-foot antenna tower. When I completed my work, I discovered that I had, over the course of several trips up the tower, brought about 300 lbs. of tools and spare hardware. Rather than carry the now unneeded tools and materials down by hand, I decided to lower the items in a small barrel by using a pulley, which fortunately was attached to the pole at the tip of the tower. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the top of the tower and loaded the tools and materials into the barrel. Then I went back to the ground and untied the rope, holding it tightly to insure a slow descent of the 300 lbs. of tools.

You will note in block number 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 155 lbs. Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming down. This explains my fractured skull and broken clavicle.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly on the rope in spite of the pain. At about the same time however, the barrel hit the ground. The bottom fell out of the barrel. Devoid of the weight of the tools, the barrel now weighed 20 pounds.

I refer you again to my weight in block number 11. As you might guess, I began a rapid descent down the side of the tower. In the vicinity of the 40-foot level, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles and the lacerations or my legs and lower body.

The encounter with the barrel slowed me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of tools, and fortunately only three vertebras were cracked. I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there on the tools in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 80 feet above me, I again lost my presence of mind.

I let go of the rope.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSALIEESTHER 8/11/2011 11:17AM

    All ok now I trust. That's a whole lot of weight to lose quickly.

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MARYB73 8/10/2011 10:30PM

    Funny, as usual. I love your blogs.

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NTSOHLTHNT 8/10/2011 7:56PM

    Oh, that is so, so funny! Thanks so much for the laugh!

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AZURELITE 8/10/2011 1:08PM

    I haven't seen that story in a long time! Thanks for posting it as it always makes me laugh!!!

And it reminds me of the tale of the fellow jumps out of the airplane but can't get his parachute to open. On the way down, he meets another fellow going up.

"Do you know anything about parachutes?" he asks frantically.

"No", the other man replies. "Do you know anything about gas barbecues?! "

Have a fun day!!!



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ALICERIEGER 8/10/2011 10:14AM

    I would have to agree - poor planning was the basic cause.

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2BEATIT1 8/10/2011 9:24AM

    Sorry I was not aware of your accident. Trust you are getting better.
Jean

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MRE1956 8/10/2011 8:21AM

    Oh, dear.....

emoticon

(I and my family are also hams.....)

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