SUNSHINE65   50,020
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Things You'll Never Hear In A Western Movie:

Thursday, June 16, 2011

"I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

"Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

"Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys room."

"Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

"Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

"Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

"You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

"That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

"He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

"Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

"It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

"HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left... Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"



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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THEWINNER33 6/21/2011 2:08PM

    Needed these laughs. Thanks

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GRANDMA624 6/19/2011 7:43AM

  emoticon emoticon

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NTSOHLTHNT 6/17/2011 12:20PM

    emoticon

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MRE1956 6/17/2011 12:07PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/17/2011 9:50AM

    Thanks again for my morning Sunshine! Sure puts a different slant on our life doesn't it?

God Bless

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IDLETYME 6/17/2011 8:26AM

    Great!!! Thanks for my morning giggle! emoticon

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JUSTSTAYCEE 6/16/2011 9:41PM

  Excellent....thanks for the laughs!

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TWEETYKC00 6/16/2011 9:40PM

    and let's not forget:

"yeah, i think this town's big enough for the two of us!"



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Rscheearch

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosnét mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Pettry amzanig huh?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NTSOHLTHNT 6/16/2011 12:36PM

    Yup, pretty amazing what the brain can do. So why do we really need to learn how to spell, when all we have to do is the the first and the last letter right and the rest can be jumbled. :)

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ICEMAGIC 6/15/2011 10:20PM

    hahah i've seen this before! It's amazing how the brain works

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Understanding Men

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

1. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.

2. All men hate to hear, "We need to talk about our relation- ship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even retired General Schwartzkopf.

3. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.

4. Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.

5. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.

6. Men forget everything; women remember everything. Think about it! How many women's sports use something called an "instant replay?"

7. Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.

8. No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.

9. Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say, "Oh no, I'm so embarrassed; I've got to get out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo."

10. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 6/19/2011 7:45AM

  What is so sad is it's all true!! emoticon

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IDLETYME 6/15/2011 7:34AM

    Thanks for my morning giggle! emoticon

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DIDMIS 6/14/2011 9:06PM

    That was so cute. Thanks

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AZURELITE 6/14/2011 5:40PM

    emoticon
Thanks for the smiles!

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PEEDLE 6/14/2011 4:41PM

    Re number 10 -
Can I send him home in the morning?
Or would that be considered "using" someone?

Mary Lou

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AANGEL3 6/14/2011 3:48PM

    emoticon

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ELLFIN3 6/14/2011 12:15PM

    emoticon That is great! Thanks so much for sharing! Enjoy our day!!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/14/2011 9:31AM

    As always - A good laugh. emoticon

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Reasons You Should Buy a New Car

Sunday, June 12, 2011

- Your passenger seat is on the National Register of Historic Places.
- Instead of an air bag, there is a whoopee cushion taped to your steering wheel.
- You lose the stoplight challenge to a 14 year old on a moped.
- 15 minute Jiffy Lube needs to keep you car for 3 days.
- When you gas up, the attendant asks, "Can I re-duct tape that windshield for you?"
- Thieves repeatedly break in your car just to steal the "Club".
- While sitting at a stop light, people keep running up to you and asking if anyone was hurt.
- For the last five years, you've had to settle for making "vroom, vroom' noises while in the driveway.
- You keep losing dates on left turns.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MITECU 6/13/2011 7:08AM

    Thanks for the laugh to start the day. emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 6/12/2011 8:59PM

    As always, you made me laugh. Another couple of years and that will be my car.


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ELLFIN3 6/12/2011 5:53PM

    emoticon Thanks! emoticon

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EVELYN5877 6/12/2011 5:43PM

    On the other hand, you could help the environment and walk!

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Did You Ever Wonder?

Monday, May 23, 2011

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Or do you get change?

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NTSOHLTHNT 5/27/2011 6:05PM

    LOL, that takes some pondering.... Have a great weekend!

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AZURELITE 5/23/2011 9:36PM

    Thanks for the laughs!! What an upbeat way to end my long weekend!!

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ELLFIN3 5/23/2011 12:21PM

    emoticon Thanks I needed that!!!!!! Enjoy your day!!!!! emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 5/23/2011 11:01AM

    Thanks for the chuckle. I always look forward to your blogs. Thanks.

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IDLETYME 5/23/2011 9:27AM

    Fun! You gave me lots to think about! emoticon emoticon

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DWROBERGE 5/23/2011 3:03AM

    That all deals with usage. Here we are concerned with weight loss. Stay focused on the objective and you will succeed. Go for it. You can do it.

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