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SOME FUN

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Night Watchman

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said someone may steal from it at night, so they created a night watchman position (GS-4) and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said, "How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning position and hired two people: one person to write the instructions (GS-12) and one person to do time studies (GS-11).

Then Congress said, "How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Q.C. position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.

Then Congress said, "How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a timekeeper (GS-09) and a payroll officer (GS-11) and hired two people.

Then Congress said, "Who will be accountable for all of these people?"

So they created an administrative position and hired three people: an Admin. Officer (GM-13), an Assistant Admin. Officer (GS-13) and a Legal Secretary (GS-08).

Then Congress said, "We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost," so they laid off the night watchman.


Late to work

Tom had this problem of getting up late in the morning and was always late for work. His boss was mad at him and threatened to fire him if he didn't do something about it.

So Tom went to his doctor who gave him a pill and told him to take it before he went to bed.

Tom slept well and in fact beat the alarm in the morning by almost two hours. He had a leisurely breakfast and drove cheerfully to work.

"Boss", he said, " The pill actually worked!"

"That's all fine" said the boss, " But where were you yesterday?"


More Words

A husband looking through the paper came upon a study that said women use more words than men. It read, "Men use about 15,000 words per day, but women use 30,000."

Excited to prove to his wife that he had been right all along when he accused her of talking too much, he showed her the study results.

The wife thought for a while, then finally she said to her husband, "It's because we have to repeat everything we say."

The husband said "What?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GENRE009 5/1/2014 2:08PM

    very cute!

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PDSLIM 4/23/2014 6:06PM

    emoticon

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DOVESEYES 4/23/2014 1:11AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LACEYKYLE 4/22/2014 11:18PM

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HELEN_BRU 4/22/2014 9:17PM

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DALID414 4/22/2014 9:06PM

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MYAKAYAH 4/22/2014 8:23PM

    Interesting stories indeed!

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LINOVER 4/22/2014 5:55PM

    The first one sounds pretty accurate to me!
The last one also is true! emoticon

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CATLADY52 4/22/2014 5:45PM

    Love the one about the night watchman. It is so close to reality that it is scary. emoticon

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 4/22/2014 2:22PM

    The 1st one about the govr. is so true, just wish they would read this.

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SANDRALEET 4/22/2014 2:17PM

    Yep that is the government

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ALICIA214 4/22/2014 2:13PM

 

Good ones Thanks for sharing..

emoticon

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HANNAHSGRAMMIE 4/22/2014 2:00PM

    These are great, especially the first one. Sad, but so true!

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A few laffs

Sunday, April 20, 2014

A man was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are beautiful.” Then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that, so she stayed by his side. A few minutes later, his eyes fluttered open and he said, “You are cute!” The wife was disappointed because instead of “beautiful,” it was now “cute.” She said, “What happened to ‘beautiful’?”
Her husband replied, “The drugs are wearing off!”


The lawyer was cross-examining a witness.
“Isn’t it true, “he bellowed, “that you were I given $500.00 to throw this case?”
The witness did not answer. Instead, he just stared out the window as though he hadn’t
heard the question. The attorney repeated himself, again getting the same reaction - no response.
Finally, the judge spoke to the witness, “Please answer the question.”
“Oh,” said the startled witness, “I thought he was talking to you.”



During training exercises, the Lieutenant driving down a muddy back road encountered another car stuck in the mud with a red-faced colonel at the wheel.
"Your jeep stuck, sir?" asked the Lieutenant as he pulled alongside.
"Nope," replied the Colonel, coming over and handing him the keys, "Yours is."



A sweet little boy surprised his grandmother one morning and brought her a cup of coffee. He made it himself and was so proud. He anxiously waited to hear the verdict on the quality of the coffee. The grandmother had never in her life had such a bad cup of coffee, and as she forced down the last sip she noticed three of those little green army guys in the bottom of the cup.
She asked, "Honey, why would three little green army guys be in the bottom of my cup?"
Her grandson replied, "You know grandma, it's like on TV, 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup.'"


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMUSTLOSEIT1 4/21/2014 10:58AM

    emoticon you always make me smile.

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PDSLIM 4/21/2014 10:55AM

    emoticon

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MYAKAYAH 4/21/2014 2:21AM

    All of those funnies were wonderful tonight~

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LACEYKYLE 4/21/2014 12:26AM

    Awe....LOL

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DALID414 4/20/2014 9:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

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SANDRALEET 4/20/2014 9:45PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DOVESEYES 4/20/2014 9:19PM

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MJ7DM33 4/20/2014 9:18PM

  emoticon

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LINOVER 4/20/2014 8:55PM

    Great! Thanks for giving me a good laugh today! Happy Easter!

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JOMAMART66 4/20/2014 8:21PM

    I liked the last one best...

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NANCYPAT1 4/20/2014 8:13PM

    They were cute - I guess MY drugs are wearing off too - beautiful just wasn't my word today.

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HAWKTHREE 4/20/2014 8:10PM

    I was in the Navy and a lowly Ensign. A Captain took my vehicle once because his was covered in snow. I had just shoveled mine clean.

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KACEYSW 4/20/2014 7:58PM

    emoticon

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WDIPIM 4/20/2014 7:58PM

  God Bless

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HELEN_BRU 4/20/2014 7:55PM

    Very funny! Hope you had a nice Easter.

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DMEYER4 4/20/2014 7:51PM

  love it thanks for the laughs

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You can't reason with babies!

Saturday, April 19, 2014

www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8l9-W66BGI

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_CYNDY55_ 4/25/2014 12:58AM

    Too Cute emoticon emoticon

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IMEMINE1 4/20/2014 2:50PM

    So cute! emoticon

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PDSLIM 4/20/2014 12:11PM

    emoticon

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IGNITEME101 4/20/2014 2:08AM

    so cute! Reminds me of my 19 month old grand daughter! Rattling on but not using many 'real' words. Still, we do understand her - at times! lol

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DALID414 4/20/2014 12:52AM

    So cute!

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MYAKAYAH 4/19/2014 10:00PM

    Thanks for the share, so true~

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JAMBABY0 4/19/2014 8:31PM

    thanks for sharing

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MERRYMARY42 4/19/2014 8:30PM

    so true,

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Really fun ad...

Saturday, April 19, 2014

www.youtube.com/embed/Pjl2R_XZ4bo

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_CYNDY55_ 4/21/2014 12:54AM

    emoticon

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IMEMINE1 4/20/2014 2:52PM

    emoticon

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WINDSWEPTACRES 4/20/2014 11:41AM

    So that's why the gas tank always seems to be empty on Sunday mornings! emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 4/20/2014 10:02AM

    emoticon

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IGNITEME101 4/20/2014 2:12AM

    I love those dogs! Cute!!

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Happy Easter

Saturday, April 19, 2014

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_CYNDY55_ 4/21/2014 12:53AM

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IMEMINE1 4/20/2014 2:53PM

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DALID414 4/20/2014 12:47AM

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MYAKAYAH 4/19/2014 10:00PM

    Interesting pic, thanks~

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IGNITEME101 4/19/2014 9:36PM

    so kewl! lol

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LACEYKYLE 4/19/2014 6:56PM

    Pretty cute!!! Happy Resurrection Sunday!!

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 4/19/2014 6:14PM

    Uncle George will be missed. LOL

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MJ7DM33 4/19/2014 6:07PM

  emoticon

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SANDRALEET 4/19/2014 5:17PM

    emoticon emoticon Bo hu use to

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JTREMBATH 4/19/2014 4:59PM

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WIFE48 4/19/2014 4:40PM

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