SUNSHINE65   60,134
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Talking Dog for Sale

Sunday, March 30, 2014

This guy sees a sign in front of a house "Talking Dog for Sale." He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back yard. The guy goes into the back yard and sees a mutt sitting there.

"You talk?" he asks.

"Yep," the mutt replies.

"So, what's your story?"

The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, cause no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.

"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down. So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals. Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."

The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. The owner says "Ten dollars."

The guy says he'll buy him, but asks the owner, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him for $10?"

The owner replies, "He's such a liar."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYAKAYAH 4/8/2014 12:05AM

    I liked this a lot lol~

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ANAKIE 4/2/2014 10:40PM

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MISSDAISY23 4/2/2014 5:29PM

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JTREMBATH 3/31/2014 1:57PM

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GENRE009 3/31/2014 12:59AM

    I did this joke at least six months ago. I copied it right off the wall at a holistic doctors office. I thought it was cute. When I copied it , it was a guy driving down a country road in Montana. where a farmer was selling the dog in back of his farm at his barn. eva

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HELEN_BRU 3/31/2014 12:57AM

    Good one!

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BOPPY_ 3/31/2014 12:45AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Lee emoticon

Comment edited on: 3/31/2014 12:46:11 AM

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DOVESEYES 3/31/2014 12:29AM

    emoticon

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LACEYKYLE 3/30/2014 10:51PM

    Thank you for the giggle!! emoticon

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MERRYMARY42 3/30/2014 10:11PM

    good one

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MARYB73 3/30/2014 9:08PM

    Funny!


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NAYPOOIE 3/30/2014 8:58PM

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DALID414 3/30/2014 8:19PM

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GYPSIILUV 3/30/2014 8:10PM

    Thank for the laugh, I needed a good one. emoticon

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That mower...

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYAKAYAH 4/8/2014 12:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GENRE009 3/28/2014 5:54PM

    Hey watch out for those mail men too!

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MISSDAISY23 3/27/2014 11:52PM

    emoticon

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PDSLIM 3/27/2014 3:41PM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 3/27/2014 2:20PM

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NAYPOOIE 3/27/2014 12:22PM

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GARDENCHRIS 3/27/2014 10:21AM

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SANDRALEET 3/27/2014 8:13AM

    Hum looks or broken

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_CYNDY55_ 3/27/2014 12:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LIGHTNING572 3/26/2014 11:40PM

    emoticon

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ICECUB 3/26/2014 10:19PM

    Maxine is so funny!!! emoticon emoticon

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THINAGIN2 3/26/2014 10:12PM

    Isn't Maxine a hoot!

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Get your fruit and veggie servings

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 3/27/2014 12:44AM

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_CYNDY55_ 3/27/2014 12:01AM

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 3/26/2014 2:22PM

    Oh, Maxine, she's the greatest. I think she says what a lot of us just think. emoticon Linda

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ATLTRAINR 3/26/2014 11:23AM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 3/26/2014 10:33AM

    Love Maxine!

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PDSLIM 3/26/2014 9:04AM

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SWEETNEEY 3/26/2014 9:02AM

    emoticon

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GODSCHILDAMYB 3/26/2014 8:56AM

    No thanks on the 'bloody Mary' but I do like the 'strawberry daiquiris', without the alcohol!

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SANDRALEET 3/26/2014 6:43AM

    emoticon emoticon and your done for the day emoticon

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JANUT57 3/26/2014 5:26AM

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YMWONG22 3/26/2014 3:10AM

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A few late nite jokes

Sunday, March 23, 2014

Authorities in Wisconsin are searching for the owner of a kangaroo after it was caught walking around outside in the frigid weather. That's got to be frustrating for the kangaroo. Walking around in freezing weather, knowing you have a pocket, but your hands are too short to put them in it. --Jay Leno

Japanese Sumo wrestling officials may start allowing wrestlers now to wear pants. Ah, great, there goes the sex appeal. --Dave Letterman

Federal officials entered a Wisconsin classroom and seized several giant African land snails because they're considered a health hazard. Officials rounded up the snails after a two second chase. --Conan O'Brien

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting. -David Letterman

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host. -David Letterman

There's only one requirement of any of us, and that is to be courageous. Because courage, as you might know, defines all other human behavior. And, I believe - because I've done a little of this myself - pretending to be courageous is just as good as the real thing. -David Letterman

Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it? -David Letterman

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/26/2014 3:13AM

  emoticon

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LINOVER 3/24/2014 5:05PM

    Good ones! emoticon

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IMUSTLOSEIT1 3/24/2014 12:19PM

    HERE ONE FOR YOU;

I have a friend whose wife joked to him that, for her birthday, she'd like something parked in the driveway that went from zero to 500 in a few seconds. he was a joker, too - she woke to find their bathroom scale in the driveway.

Linda

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CATLADY52 3/24/2014 10:47AM

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PDSLIM 3/24/2014 10:34AM

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GODSCHILDAMYB 3/24/2014 8:37AM

    Good ones!!

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NYARAMULA 3/24/2014 6:31AM

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KS_PRINCESS115 3/24/2014 2:31AM

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 3/24/2014 12:17AM

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CTUPTON 3/23/2014 11:32PM

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GENRE009 3/23/2014 11:19PM

    either you are David Letterman's writer, or you thought these were really funny when you watched the show, and they are!

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MYAKAYAH 3/23/2014 11:04PM

    Very fun and interesting~

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WITCHYALISHA 3/23/2014 10:54PM

    Giggle

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DALID414 3/23/2014 10:47PM

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DOVESEYES 3/23/2014 10:32PM

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ELSCO55 3/23/2014 10:22PM

    LOL

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Student misses!

Sunday, March 23, 2014

We all fail sometimes. But there's something about failing with style. Here are some of the best test paper blunders from the most clueless - and inventive - of students.

* Classical Studies *
Question: Name one of the early Romans' greatest achievements.
Answer: Learning to speak Latin

* Biology *
Question: What is a fibula?
Answer: A little lie

* Classical Studies *
Question: What were the circumstances of Julius Caesar's death?
Answer: Suspicious ones

* Biology *
Question: Give an example of a smoking-related disease
Answer: Early death

* Biology *
Question: What is a plasmid?
Answer: A high definition television

* Religious Studies *
Question: Christians only have one spouse, what is this called?
Answer: Monotony

* Physics *
Question: Name an environmental side effect of burning fossil fuels.
Answer: Fire

* Geography *
Question: What does the term "lava" mean?
Answer: A pre-pubescent caterpillar

* Geography *
Question: The race of people known as Malays come from which country?
Answer: Malaria

* Geography *
Question: Name one famous Greek landmark
Answer: The most famous Greek landmark is the Apocalypse

* History *
Question: Where was the American Declaration of Independence signed?
Answer: At the bottom.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 3/26/2014 3:17AM

  Hilarious emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINOVER 3/24/2014 5:07PM

    These made me smile today! emoticon

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KJDINSC 3/24/2014 7:09AM

    Good ones!

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IGNITEME101 3/24/2014 2:14AM

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 3/24/2014 12:16AM

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CTUPTON 3/23/2014 11:31PM

    They sound good at least to the student who wrote them. chris

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MYAKAYAH 3/23/2014 11:05PM

    Ah, the education system at its finest~

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DALID414 3/23/2014 10:53PM

    emoticon

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PAMNANGEL 3/23/2014 10:20PM

    May not have been the answers the teacher was looking for, but at least a couple if those were correct...sort of.

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SANDRALEET 3/23/2014 9:26PM

    they will wark on Fox News

Comment edited on: 3/23/2014 9:27:52 PM

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DOVESEYES 3/23/2014 9:16PM

    emoticon

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SWEETNEEY 3/23/2014 9:07PM

    Love it

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