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First day of wnter

Sunday, December 22, 2013

  
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_CYNDY55_ 12/23/2013 11:30PM

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DALID414 12/22/2013 11:22PM

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AALLEY2 12/22/2013 7:35PM

    Merry Christmas!
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JUNA89 12/22/2013 5:25PM

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This was posted on Facebook by Glynis McCants

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Dear Santa,

How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 5 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones

Dear Timmy,

Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think
I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus

Mr. Claus,

Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. Nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a
jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,
Tim Jones


Mr. Jones,

While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorney's have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve your social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus

Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone

Listen Pizza Face, Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world
on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny G-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your s**t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in you're a** and then walk it dry. Chew on that,
Petunia.

S Clizzy

Dear Santa,

Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy



Timmy,

That's what I thought you little ba****d.

Santa

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GENRE009 12/22/2013 1:43AM

    COOL! EVEN SANTA IS DEALING WITH RUDE PEOPLE.
emoticon EVA

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LINOVER 12/21/2013 6:23PM

    I too wish more people would see this and take notice! Glad Santa set him straight!

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WINDSWEPTACRES 12/21/2013 11:13AM

    Made me laugh out loud. Send it off to all my friends with attitude. emoticon Merry Christmas. Hope you're not on Santa's 'naughty' list this year.

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RUSSELL_40 12/21/2013 10:58AM

    I loved that. I laughed a lot.

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GARDENCHRIS 12/21/2013 8:50AM

    GO SANTA!!!! emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 12/21/2013 1:27AM

    Yeah, Santa!

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SANDRALEET 12/20/2013 8:41AM

    I wish that would happen to more The warld needs a good telling off To full of creed Good story

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THINFITFEMINIST 12/20/2013 8:00AM

    emoticon I wish every one would see this and take notice: Santa is a ninja!

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PDSLIM 12/20/2013 7:17AM

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IDICEM 12/20/2013 3:06AM

  emoticon I needed that laugh. Thanks!!

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TIGER_LILY_613 12/20/2013 1:15AM

    I am LITERALLY laughing out loud. This is hilarious ! Thank you !!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DALID414 12/20/2013 12:35AM

    emoticon too funny!

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DOVESEYES 12/20/2013 12:19AM

    Ah Modern times. "We would never speak to Santa like that in the "old" days emoticon

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Once a Texan, always a Texan

Thursday, December 19, 2013

A family had moved to Seattle from Texas, and each of them missed their old home. That December, when they went to pick up their first-grade son from school, his teacher told them about a conversation she overheard.

One boy said, "We're Catholic, and we are going to Christmas Mass."

"Were Jewish," said another child. "And we're going to have a Hanukkah celebration.

"Madison chimed in, "We're Texans, and were going to have a barbecue."

  
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DALID414 12/20/2013 12:37AM

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PB4WEGO 12/19/2013 10:37PM

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The perfect Christmas tree...

Thursday, December 19, 2013

At first sight we knew it was the perfect Christmas tree. Tall and full, with no bare spots. Even our grown children were impressed.

"Wow," said my son, "if you didn't know it was real, it could easily pass as artificial."


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SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?

Thursday, December 19, 2013

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD??

MY NAME IS PAULINE, AND I WAS THE SITTING IN WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ...

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

'WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

'YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,

OLD,

BALDING,

WRINKLED FACED,

FAT-BUTTED,

GRAY-HAIRED,

DECREPIT

SON-OF-A-GUN

ASKED,


"WHAT DID YOU TEACH?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARDENQE2 12/20/2013 10:44AM

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That's why I hate class reunions...all those OLD PEOPLE used to by my age!!

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STRONG_SARAH 12/20/2013 3:57AM

    Oh no! That is so wrong.......but funny!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/20/2013 12:53AM

    OMG! Funny!

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DALID414 12/20/2013 12:42AM

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MEWHENRYSMAMA 12/19/2013 11:32PM

    LOL....what a great story....But I am sure you did not look like a teacher...
Do we all think we look better than we do? I worry about that, too! I have
Been told I look much younger than I am, and I worry one day it will all just fall...
LOL...zip, gone!
Thanks for sharing!
Mary

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JUDYAMK 12/19/2013 11:14PM

    I am sorry ,but I cannot help laughing it is the way you put it.!!! emoticon
That crotchety old man the nerve of him!!!!!! emoticon
Judy

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DOVESEYES 12/19/2013 10:09PM

    This is so funny as I'm in the age bracket that thinks that now--needed a laugh to day thanks.

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GOALWTIN7 12/19/2013 10:02PM

  I think because of the way you phrased it, you were in my class, also sounds to me that you were teaching the class. He might of thought you don't look older than me but just didn't express that. If you said, you were a classmate of mine that would of sounded different.

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MOMMY445 12/19/2013 9:55PM

    i find that depending on how i wear my hair, i am sometimes mistaken for a teacher instead of a student.

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SHERYLP461 12/19/2013 9:54PM

    Oh no, did you get a new dentist. I find myself asking that same question, only I am saying, please I hope I don't look that old.

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EMMACORY 12/19/2013 9:53PM

    Cute....sometimes when I am walking in the mall and I observe people I think they are older than me but then I wonder maybe I am not....it is hard to figure out sometimes.

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