SUNSHINE65   61,042
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Odds and Odds

Sunday, November 24, 2013

A customer at a counter of a garden ornament shop said to the cashier, “Give me four of those pinwheels, two of those pink flamingos, two of those sunflowers, and one of those bent-over grandmas in bloomers.” The cashier replied “that’ll be eight dollars for the pinwheels, ten for the flamingos, six for the sunflowers, and an apology for my wife!”

Q: Did you hear about the person who forgot to pay their exorcist?
A: They were repossessed.

Two bachelors, Larry and Frank were out to dinner. The conversation drifted from office, sports to politics and then to cooking. “I got a cook book once” said Larry. “But I couldn’t do anything with it.” “Too much fancy stuff in it, huh?” asked Frank. “You said it, Larry replied, nodding. “Every one of those recipes began the same way: “Take a clean plate…”

Teacher: " George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand.”

How do dogs communicate in the modern world?
P-mail
And how do they tweet?
Wee-mail

“Honey,” says a husband to his wife, “I invited a friend home for supper.” “What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess. I haven’t been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don’t feel like cooking a fancy meal!!” “I know all that.” “Then why did you invite a friend for supper?” “Because the poor fool’s thinking about getting married.”

Q: Why can't idiots make Kool-Aid?
A: They can't get a quart of water to stay in the envelope

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier: “I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.”
“Thank you very much, sir.”

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATLTRAINR 11/26/2013 11:59AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/24/2013 8:12PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Hah! Here's your state, 0309COOKIE!

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else

Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada: Whores and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!

New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...

North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee: The Educashun State

Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont: Yep

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia: One Big Happy Family...Really!

Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming: Where Men Are Men...And The Sheep Are Afraid!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ATLTRAINR 11/26/2013 12:00PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIANER2014 11/24/2013 11:48PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 11/24/2013 11:40PM

    ROFL! That is SO good.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/24/2013 8:07PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENQE2 11/24/2013 7:55PM

    Here, Lizard, c'mon boy! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GENRE009 11/24/2013 7:15PM

    My post on your blog would have been so long, that I just didn't post it here. I did post it at the main message boards, about how I live near Detroit, Michigan, and don't understand what is real in the media, about what they say with its economy? Other than they are broke, and had a crooked major. if you want to see that post go there. Thanks. eva

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDISOCAROLINA 11/24/2013 6:58PM

    emoticon Now I found my state! emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
IMEMINE1 11/24/2013 6:23PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Conservatives are so easy to anger these days

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Conservatives are so easy to anger these days. Even the most insignificant statement can set off their tempers. If you want to enrage a conservative, I suggest saying the following:

1. A Socialist wrote the Pledge of Allegiance.
2. Jesus healed the sick and helped the poor, for free.
3. Joseph McCarthy was an un-American, witch hunting sissy.
4. Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee were traitors.
5. The South lost the Civil War, get over it.
6. The Founding Fathers were liberals.
7. Fascism is a right-wing trait.
8. Sarah Palin is an idiot.
9. The Earth is round.
10. Reagan raised taxes eleven times as President.
11. Reagan legalized abortion as Governor of California.
12. Nixon created the Environmental Protection Agency.
13. Ronald Reagan supported gun control.
14. Global warming is real.
15. Republicans hate illegal immigrants, unless they need their lawns mowed or their houses cleaned

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 11/24/2013 3:15PM

    Regan was a gun-toting conservative supporting gun control! Was that before or after he got shot? emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/24/2013 1:54PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SADDHU1 11/24/2013 11:55AM

  RFLMAO! So true!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AUNTB63 11/24/2013 9:12AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDRALEET 11/24/2013 8:59AM

    Sad put true

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATLTRAINR 11/24/2013 8:50AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NASFKAB 11/24/2013 7:41AM

  so true after all these years do they never learn?

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 11/24/2013 3:57AM

    I could add many more, like God doesn't really care whether or not you say Merry Christmas.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SALEX52 11/24/2013 2:22AM

    There are so many things you could add to the list!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Call it a week!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_CYNDY55_ 11/24/2013 2:08AM

    emoticon
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 11/23/2013 9:55PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HELEN_BRU 11/23/2013 6:34PM

    That's exactly how I feel! LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 11/23/2013 1:09PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
0309COOKIE 11/23/2013 10:05AM

    Lol.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/23/2013 8:44AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATLTRAINR 11/23/2013 7:54AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SANDRALEET 11/23/2013 7:24AM

    you to emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
YMWONG22 11/23/2013 5:37AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROX525 11/23/2013 5:34AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LOWCARBRENEE 11/23/2013 3:53AM

    :)

Report Inappropriate Comment


State Mottoes

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona: But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas: Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California: By 30 Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.

Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedies Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water

Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism

Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free

Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi: Come Feel Better About Your Own State

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SANDISOCAROLINA 11/24/2013 6:56PM

    emoticon emoticon from Az. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENQE2 11/24/2013 12:15PM

    What happened to the other states??? emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_CYNDY55_ 11/24/2013 2:07AM

    emoticon
emoticon So Cali!!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GENRE009 11/23/2013 11:48PM

    emoticon eva.

you should have that bar by your comments so I can send this to my other spark friends!

Report Inappropriate Comment
0309COOKIE 11/23/2013 10:10AM

    My state wasn't on there, lol.


Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/23/2013 8:46AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATLTRAINR 11/23/2013 7:54AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 11/23/2013 7:52AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 Last Page