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Still More Hilarious parenting tweets

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

If you want to get all scared about terrifying-sounding new drugs you know you will never personally take, you should definitely have a kid. -Claire Zulkey

6 y/o: "OxyClean is the best and you can get it everywhere cleaning products are sold." She remembers this crap. Not "Brush your teeth." -Claire Zulkey

My kids' favorite thing to play with is my patience. -Renee

The cat licked my son's arm so I'm totally counting that as giving him a bath. -Renee

You could tell a 3 yr old that they are stupid human trash and it would STILL not offend them more than telling them they're tired. -Fun_Beard

I love you more than I hate Caillou. Let that sink in a minute. -Sass Mouth

My kids think I am awesome because I am making pancakes for dinner. No one tell them it is laziness. -Chris

Hard to believe, son, but there was a time when they used to just throw away the donut holes. -Michael Ian Black

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 10/4/2013 8:22PM

    my kids and i love caillou-it is great

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YMWONG22 10/3/2013 1:14AM

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3016DEBRA 10/2/2013 6:00PM

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DALID414 10/2/2013 10:14AM

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ATLTRAINR 10/2/2013 5:14AM

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SUSIEPH1 10/2/2013 5:05AM

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BROWNSUGAR2828 10/2/2013 4:20AM

    I love the cat comment!

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BARCLE 10/2/2013 4:19AM

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COCK-ROBIN 10/2/2013 2:43AM

    Wonderful!

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DOVESEYES 10/2/2013 1:29AM

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Gravity...not just a good idea...it's the LAW!

Wednesday, October 02, 2013

  
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BECKYSFRIEND 10/2/2013 10:04PM

    love Maxine emoticon

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DALID414 10/2/2013 10:13AM

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WENDYSPARKS 10/2/2013 5:36AM

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YMWONG22 10/2/2013 5:24AM

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ATLTRAINR 10/2/2013 5:12AM

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1DRWOMAN 10/2/2013 1:42AM

    giggle

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13DETERMINEDME 10/2/2013 1:31AM

    My jugs missed the memo emoticon

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AJB121299 10/2/2013 1:21AM

    nice

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...argue...

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

  
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YMWONG22 10/3/2013 1:36AM

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PDSLIM 10/1/2013 2:39PM

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HELEN_BRU 10/1/2013 11:09AM

    Always love Maxine!

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DALID414 10/1/2013 10:03AM

    emoticon

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SANDRALEET 10/1/2013 8:34AM

    Say in your mind God bless you You exspreace your thoughts and others theirs The hardest thing to learn God gave us free will

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RASPBERRY56 10/1/2013 7:02AM

    I've said it before and I'll say it again - gotta *love* Maxine!

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ROX525 10/1/2013 5:50AM

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SUSIEPH1 10/1/2013 3:34AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 10/1/2013 2:31AM

    Love it! Thanks for sharing.

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More Hilarious parenting tweets

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

The chances of a baby falling asleep are inversely proportional to the desperation of the parent for it to be so -Ben Reynolds

You may travel and enjoy things I never will, but you Child-Free Lifers will never know the glory of the 43 second nap. -Liíl Edie Surly

There are no words to describe what parenting is like. Only screams and songs. -Charlie N Andy

Itís water under the bridge, but Iím still kinda pissed at my husband for loudly munching those crispy wontons during my contraction. -Ana Gasteyer

What do you call two people who have to reschedule an important meeting because neither one had enough coffee to function? Parents. -BadParentingMoments

Me: "No" Me 2 minutes later: "No" Me 5 minutes after that: "No" 5 yr old: "So maybe in a few minutes?" -Stella G. Maddox

"MOM WE'RE FINE I'M ON THE TOILET AND ELLA PEED IN THE TUB 'CAUSE SHE COULDN'T HOLD IT." These two will trash an NFL player's house one day. -Suburban Snapshots

My kidís school picture really captures the moment right after P.E. -Peyton Price

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YMWONG22 10/3/2013 1:16AM

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CHRISGORGME 10/2/2013 4:37AM

    I suppose they will sound hilarious to me as well in a few years time!! emoticon

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BECKYSFRIEND 10/1/2013 10:28PM

    Glad I'm a grandmother and I just spoil them and send them home!

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NAYPOOIE 10/1/2013 3:41PM

    Glad I'm done with it, parenting is definitely for the young.

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DALID414 10/1/2013 10:02AM

    emoticon
My mom hated the photos after PE my hair was always a mess!

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RASPBERRY56 10/1/2013 7:03AM

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maxine rides again!

Monday, September 30, 2013

  
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LINOVER 9/30/2013 9:54PM

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DALID414 9/30/2013 12:08PM

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PDSLIM 9/30/2013 9:58AM

    Yah!

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DONNABRIGHT 9/30/2013 8:42AM

    Maxine knows how to live the good life!

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HELEN_BRU 9/30/2013 7:54AM

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SANDRALEET 9/30/2013 7:11AM

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SUSIEPH1 9/30/2013 5:53AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANUT57 9/30/2013 5:47AM

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MOIRA2 9/30/2013 5:42AM

    emoticon And I don't drink! Funny!

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ROX525 9/30/2013 5:40AM

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ATLTRAINR 9/30/2013 5:17AM

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YMWONG22 9/30/2013 5:01AM

  It is always good laugh with Maxine.
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DOVESEYES 9/30/2013 1:50AM

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