SUNSHINE65   55,490
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Bumper Snickers

Sunday, September 29, 2013

These are a little mean, and I wouldn't put them on my bumper, but love the sarcasmQ

Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your butt?

If you can read this, I can slam on my brakes and sue you!

Jesus loves you, but everyone else thinks you're a jerk.

100,000 sperm and YOU were the fastest?

Your gene pool needs a little chlorine.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!

DON'T MAKE ME ANGRY! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

You are depriving some poor village of its IDIOT!

Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

Forget world peace. Visualize using your turn signal.

My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN.

All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LINOVER 9/30/2013 9:57PM

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MOIRA2 9/30/2013 5:44AM

    RASPBERRY56......Me too!

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PAMNANGEL 9/30/2013 12:41AM

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NAYPOOIE 9/29/2013 1:36PM

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JUST_BRENDA 9/29/2013 8:27AM

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ROX525 9/29/2013 6:58AM

    Things you think of in your head sometimes and can't say out loud! LOL

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RASPBERRY56 9/29/2013 6:56AM

    Love 'em! Of course, my humor tends to run a bit on the snarky side, but still.........thank you for sharing!

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DOVESEYES 9/29/2013 5:59AM

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PICKIE98 9/29/2013 5:37AM

    Are those Maxine-isms?? I just read them the other day..funny

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ANDYLIN90 9/29/2013 5:26AM

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Move over Dr Freud!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSFITOKSANA 9/29/2013 12:12PM

    LMAO!

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DALID414 9/29/2013 11:52AM

    No degree needed!

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YMWONG22 9/29/2013 8:40AM

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JUST_BRENDA 9/29/2013 8:25AM

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ROX525 9/29/2013 6:57AM

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ANDYLIN90 9/29/2013 5:27AM

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SPARKCHANTAL 9/29/2013 4:07AM

    it's because our eyes are turned outwards, of course.

but that doesn't explain all the 'umbilici mundi' (navels of the world), I know!

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TATTER3 9/29/2013 3:06AM

    That's me!!! But they never ask!

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Change up your workout???

Friday, September 27, 2013

  
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MISSDAISY23 9/27/2013 9:48PM

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L*I*T*A* 9/27/2013 3:47PM

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MISSFITOKSANA 9/27/2013 11:38AM

    Time for A change :)

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PDSLIM 9/27/2013 10:54AM

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DALID414 9/27/2013 10:38AM

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COLLEENROSTE 9/27/2013 3:08AM

    it is time for a change

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CMOMMYFLY 9/27/2013 1:48AM

    Oooh, goodie! I can't wait!

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GENRE009 9/27/2013 1:17AM

    Yep! It's a coming, hybernation. I am happy today, cause I am getting off a pill to strengthen my bones. I am back to a normal number. But I have to switch up the type of exercises I do to keep up the good work on my bone density. So, it'll be strengthening a couple times a week. Some times my motivation just goes down the toilet!

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PINKEUROGIRL 9/27/2013 1:02AM

    Funny !

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Anagrams

Friday, September 27, 2013

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble. When you rearrange the letters:

Dormitory .................................. Dirty Room

Evangelist..............................
... Evil's Agent

Desperation.............................
. A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code..................... Here Come Dots

Slot Machines......................... Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity...............................
. Is No Amity

Mother-in-law..........................W
oman Hitler

Snooze Alarms........................ Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness......................... Genuine Class

Semolina................................
... Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries......... Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point...................... I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes.................... That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two..................... Twelve plus one

Contradiction......................... Accord not in it

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIHIKES 9/27/2013 11:10PM

    Wow those were very clever

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MISSDAISY23 9/27/2013 9:50PM

    WOW!


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DALID414 9/27/2013 10:39AM

    Fun!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 9/27/2013 4:42AM

    wow

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SUSANBEAMON 9/27/2013 1:12AM

  not a game i'm fond of, but interesting.

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A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO PUBLIX

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Yesterday I was at the Villages Publix buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Publix won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

  
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DANLIN60 10/2/2013 2:17PM

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PURPLESPEDCOW 9/30/2013 6:02PM

    totally awesome and well written

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2HAMSDIET 9/29/2013 5:50PM

    emoticon Oh how true as I live in the land of snow birds and they are starting to land again. A trip to the store is always filled with someone I don't know chatting with me. emoticon

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RICKI157 9/29/2013 4:55PM

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DONNABRIGHT 9/29/2013 3:33PM

    What a great yarn! My husband is able to do this off the top of his head and I so wish I could think fast enough but alas, it is not one of my talents! I hope you continue entertaining people at Publix.

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SUSIEPH1 9/29/2013 3:15PM

    Totally hilarious .. Thanks for the giggles ... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 9/29/2013 3:11PM

    Stop, you're killing me! emoticon

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SANDRALEET 9/29/2013 1:19PM

    So funny I love pulling legs

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ALICIA214 9/29/2013 1:09PM

 

I have read many a tale involving Seniors,truly funny and with more than a hint of
sarcasm involved and have given me many laughs thanks for sharing.

I think the bottom line here is 'dont mess with seniors " we are lethal.

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DOVESEYES 9/25/2013 10:56PM

    emoticon Great come back

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TRENTDREAMER 9/25/2013 10:39PM

    "Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. "
* Wow! That is hysterical. I'm proud of you!

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GENDOT 9/25/2013 10:33PM

  I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the laugh!
Gendot

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DALID414 9/25/2013 10:31PM

    I can't wait to retire emoticon

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