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Anagrams

Friday, September 27, 2013

An Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or is deadly at Scrabble. When you rearrange the letters:

Dormitory .................................. Dirty Room

Evangelist..............................
... Evil's Agent

Desperation.............................
. A Rope Ends It

The Morse Code..................... Here Come Dots

Slot Machines......................... Cash Lost in 'em

Animosity...............................
. Is No Amity

Mother-in-law..........................W
oman Hitler

Snooze Alarms........................ Alas! No More Z's

Alec Guinness......................... Genuine Class

Semolina................................
... Is No Meal

The Public Art Galleries......... Large Picture Halls, I Bet

A Decimal Point...................... I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes.................... That Queer Shake

Eleven plus two..................... Twelve plus one

Contradiction......................... Accord not in it

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALIHIKES 9/27/2013 11:10PM

    Wow those were very clever

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MISSDAISY23 9/27/2013 9:50PM

    WOW!


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L*I*T*A* 9/27/2013 3:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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DALID414 9/27/2013 10:39AM

    Fun!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 9/27/2013 4:42AM

    wow

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SUSANBEAMON 9/27/2013 1:12AM

  not a game i'm fond of, but interesting.

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A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO PUBLIX

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Yesterday I was at the Villages Publix buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant?

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Publix won't let me shop there anymore.
Better watch what you ask retired people.
They have all the time in the World to think of crazy things to say.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DANLIN60 10/2/2013 2:17PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CRAFTSFAN1 9/30/2013 9:24PM

    emoticon emoticon

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PURPLESPEDCOW 9/30/2013 6:02PM

    totally awesome and well written

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SAMI199 9/30/2013 11:26AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ARTJAC 9/30/2013 12:09AM

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ANGEL_VENUS 9/29/2013 11:08PM

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DS9KIE 9/29/2013 8:29PM

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PEZMOM1 9/29/2013 8:15PM

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THROOPER62 9/29/2013 6:21PM

    emoticon emoticon

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2HAMSDIET 9/29/2013 5:50PM

    emoticon Oh how true as I live in the land of snow birds and they are starting to land again. A trip to the store is always filled with someone I don't know chatting with me. emoticon

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RICKI157 9/29/2013 4:55PM

    emoticon

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DONNABRIGHT 9/29/2013 3:33PM

    What a great yarn! My husband is able to do this off the top of his head and I so wish I could think fast enough but alas, it is not one of my talents! I hope you continue entertaining people at Publix.

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SUSIEPH1 9/29/2013 3:15PM

    Totally hilarious .. Thanks for the giggles ... emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 9/29/2013 3:11PM

    Stop, you're killing me! emoticon

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DJ4HEALTH 9/29/2013 2:37PM

    emoticon emoticon

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JCARDINAL 9/29/2013 2:24PM

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SEAJESS 9/29/2013 1:35PM

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SANDRALEET 9/29/2013 1:19PM

    So funny I love pulling legs

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ALICIA214 9/29/2013 1:09PM

 

I have read many a tale involving Seniors,truly funny and with more than a hint of
sarcasm involved and have given me many laughs thanks for sharing.

I think the bottom line here is 'dont mess with seniors " we are lethal.

emoticon

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PDSLIM 9/26/2013 11:01PM

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GLC2009 9/26/2013 4:43PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 9/26/2013 8:32AM

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GARDENCHRIS 9/26/2013 7:18AM

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ATLTRAINR 9/26/2013 5:40AM

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MISSDAISY23 9/26/2013 12:37AM

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DOVESEYES 9/25/2013 10:56PM

    emoticon Great come back

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TRENTDREAMER 9/25/2013 10:39PM

    "Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. "
* Wow! That is hysterical. I'm proud of you!

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GENDOT 9/25/2013 10:33PM

  I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for the laugh!
Gendot

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DALID414 9/25/2013 10:31PM

    I can't wait to retire emoticon

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Late Nite Funnies

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

For the first time in 90 years, Time magazine has appointed a female editor. But while it's a big change for the publication, she promises it will still be the same magazine you briefly glance at before you buy an Us Weekly. -Jimmy Fallon

A show on plants on the Discovery Channel said that plants have a way of signaling danger to each other. When there's danger, the plant releases a gas that other plants can sense. Well, here is my question. What good is a plant warning another plant about danger? What's the other plant supposed to do, run? -Jay Leno

In a new interview, Elton John said that he will not cancel a performance in Russia later this year, despite the country's anti-gay laws. Vladimir Putin was pretty shocked when he heard. He was like, "Hold on. Elton John is gay?" -Jimmy Fallon

Kevin Trudeau, the king of infomercials, has been sent to jail for fraud. The judge sentenced him to 10 years. But then he said, 'Wait, there's more,' and added another five years. -Conan O'Brien

It looks like the federal government could be shutting down. The legal definition of a government shutdown is when Congress continues not to work, but they do it from home. -Jay Leno

Two guys in New Hampshire were arrested after they tried to rob a group of people playing Bingo. Cops became suspicious when they saw a car driving away from the Bingo hall going more than 10 miles an hour. -Jimmy Fallon

Officials in Washington, D.C. have proposed a 24-hour waiting period before people can get tattoos. Or as people who want tattoos put it, 'You mean we gotta stay drunk for 24 hours?' -Jimmy Fallon

A few years ago, they made the movie 'Freddy vs. Jason.' They do that all the time. They take two franchises that are totally out of gas and put them against each other. Godzilla was in tons of those movies, like 'Godzilla vs. King Kong.' The most uneven was 'Godzilla vs. Mothra.' How's that a fair fight? Godzilla is a giant fire-breathing lizard. Mothra is a big moth. What does Mothra do? Eat holes in all of Godzilla's sweaters? -Craig Ferguson

The Miss America Pageant is coming back on Sunday night from Atlantic City. They're modernizing the pageant. They're changing the name of it to 'America's Got Implants.' -Dave Letterman

  
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BECKYSFRIEND 9/25/2013 9:30PM

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Yoga

Wednesday, September 25, 2013



emoticon

  
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MISSDAISY23 9/25/2013 5:14PM

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DALID414 9/25/2013 10:33AM

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RASPBERRY56 9/25/2013 5:52AM

    Yep!

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COLLEENROSTE 9/25/2013 3:10AM

    cute

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YMWONG22 9/25/2013 1:48AM

  emoticon emoticon

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BJPENNY70 9/25/2013 12:57AM

    Love Maxine!

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EOSTAR_45 9/25/2013 12:33AM

    LOl! I love Maxine.

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PINKEUROGIRL 9/25/2013 12:29AM

    Funny!

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Maxine goes to the gym...huh?

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

  
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MISSDAISY23 9/25/2013 5:14PM

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EVER-HOPEFUL 9/24/2013 5:59PM

    lol,love it emoticon

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BARCLE 9/24/2013 5:56PM

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3016DEBRA 9/24/2013 2:35PM

  Love it!!!

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DALID414 9/24/2013 12:20PM

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GARDENCHRIS 9/24/2013 7:20AM

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ELLENIRENE 9/24/2013 6:24AM

    emoticon great thinking!

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NYARAMULA 9/24/2013 6:19AM

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ROX525 9/24/2013 5:47AM

    Great!

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DOVESEYES 9/24/2013 5:46AM

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HAPPYMENOW58 9/24/2013 4:52AM

    Very cute! Thanks for the laugh today....Have a strong Tuesday!

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GHOSTFLAMES 9/24/2013 4:52AM

    LOL emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NANCYPAT1 9/24/2013 4:51AM

    Love Maxine

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