SUNSHINE65   67,467
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

10 Ways Having a Toddler is Like Being in Prison

Saturday, September 21, 2013

As a parent, your schedule is often dictated by the needs of your child, especially when that child is young. With that in mind, many aspects of the parenting experience could be compared with prison – complete with a sadistic little warden who harbors a Napoleon complex.

You can’t do anything without constant supervision

Every morning begins with someone screaming at you to wake up

You’re always terrified something bad will happen when you’re in the shower

You’re always terrified someone is going to crawl into your bed in the middle of the night

Meal time is fraught with tension

Someone’s always watching you go to the bathroom

You never get to choose the movie and then it’s hard to hear it over all the hooting and hollering

You’re always terrified someone is going to punch, bite, tackle, stab or attack you with some kind of makeshift weapon

Contraband — like booze, chocolate and adult entertainment — must be smuggled in and consumed in secret

Conjugal visits are hard to come by, require intense scheduling, and are often interrupted

BONUS: One Way Having a Toddler is NOT Like Being in Prison

Being placed in solitary confinement is a reward, not a punishment!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 9/25/2013 11:37AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLC2009 9/23/2013 1:14AM

    well, perhaps that why i didn't have children emoticon i would greatly fear going to jail.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 9/22/2013 2:50PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SHIRLEY721 9/22/2013 2:16PM

    .on.I remember well

Report Inappropriate Comment
DESERTDREAMERS 9/21/2013 10:37AM

    Too funny (& true)!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 9/21/2013 10:33AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 9/21/2013 10:21AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
KNYAGENYA 9/21/2013 9:57AM

    emoticon Reason 406 why I am glad that I do not have children.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NASFKAB 9/21/2013 9:41AM

  thanks my baby will be 38 in November

Report Inappropriate Comment
LAURANCE 9/21/2013 7:41AM

  It's been a long, long time (like 49 years) since I had one of those little things. Thanks for the memories!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HELEN_BRU 9/21/2013 7:17AM

    Haven't seen that one before. Very funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOVESEYES 9/21/2013 7:12AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
VICKI2705 9/21/2013 4:55AM

    emoticon very funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVER-HOPEFUL 9/21/2013 4:04AM

    never seen it like that before,lol. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
COLLEENROSTE 9/21/2013 3:19AM

    l know a few young moms who will appreciate this wisdom emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GENRE009 9/21/2013 1:59AM

    Sounds like you need a break! Bring in the troups! Like your mother or his , or really check for a good baby sitter a few times a month. You've heard the saying that if you can't give to yourself, then you're no good for someone else! Or something like that.

Report Inappropriate Comment


Late Nite Funnies

Monday, September 16, 2013

The kids are going back to school. When I was a kid, you used to take an apple to school for the teacher to get on her good side. Now you send over a drink. -Dave Letterman

Plans are being discussed for a reality show based on the White House. It's called 'Lame Duck Dynasty.' -Jay Leno

Do you have the new iPhone yet, the new iPhone 5? You'd better get the new iPhone 5 because you're not going to see another one for... three, four months. -David Letterman

It's a great day if you like football. Who doesn't? Al-Qaida, that's who doesn't! They say, "Sorry, it's too violent." -Craig Ferguson

Last night a new NFL season began. On Sunday, hundreds of thousands of American men begin five long months of wagering their hard-earned money so they can buy their wives that Valentine's Day gift. -Jimmy Kimmel

I think the scores for Olympic gymnastics are affected by what countries the judge and the gymnast are from. That's wrong. That type of political pandering isn't meant for gymnastic Olympic events. It's meant for the Supreme Court. -Classic Craig Ferguson

Well, President Obama and first lady Michelle went to see the U.S. Olympic basketball team play Brazil the other day. And during the game, they were put on the kiss cam. At first, they didn't kiss and the crowd booed them. Then the camera went back to them. And they finally did kiss. Isn't that amazing? A politician in Washington caught on camera kissing a woman he's actually married to? -Classic Jay Leno

President Obama said 1992’s dream team was better than this year’s Olympic basketball team. Which is interesting because a lot of people think 1992’s president is better than this year’s president. -Classic Jimmy Fallon

According to researchers in London, babies are born to dance, and they greatly prefer music to speech. The music they like best is Lady Gaga. -Jay Leno

Scientists now say French kissing can lead to sexually transmitted diseases. I think I have a way to avoid French kissing: Get married. -David Letterman

A survey has found that 26 percent of people admit to texting while driving. The other 74 percent admitted to texting while being hit by a car. -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTDREAMERS 9/21/2013 10:42AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARCLE 9/18/2013 6:51PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 9/18/2013 9:36AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NISSANGIRL 9/18/2013 6:37AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon loved it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
FORESTPAL 9/17/2013 6:40PM

    You are my sunshine.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARGARITTM 9/17/2013 2:24PM

    Good stuff

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 9/16/2013 10:20PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


"How many of you love your husbands?"

Monday, September 16, 2013

In a morning Bible study, a group of women were studying how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, "How many of you love your husbands?"

All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, "When was the last time you told your husband you loved him?"

A few women answered today, some said yesterday, and some didn't remember.

The women were then asked to take their phones and send the text message, "I love you, sweetheart."

After a few minutes, the women were asked to exchange phones and read aloud the responding text messages.

Here are some of the replies:

1. Who is this?
2. Uh, mother of my children, are you sick?
3. I love you too.
4. What now? Did you wreck the car again?
5. I don't understand what you mean.
6. What did you do now?
7. ?!!???
8. Don't beat about the bush, just tell me how much you need?
9. Am I dreaming?
10. If you don't tell me who this message is actually for, someone will die.
11. I thought we agreed we would not drink during the day.
12. Your mother is coming to stay, isn't she?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DESERTDREAMERS 9/21/2013 10:45AM

    Sad, but funny at the same time.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALFBUNDY 9/19/2013 10:18AM

    I don't "text", so I would have to "OPT OUT" of this particular exercise! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 9/18/2013 10:54PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PURPLELVR7 9/18/2013 6:49AM

    love your blog, too bad it is true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
XXSOLA_FIDEXX 9/17/2013 6:47PM

    My husband and I hit a rough patch a couple of years ago and almost lost the marriage. After going through counseling with our pastor and healing and growing together, we pray together every morning before we start the day, and always take random moments throughout the day to remind each other how much we love each other.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MARGARITTM 9/17/2013 2:26PM

    Really funny!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PATJOONWW 9/17/2013 10:26AM

    My hubby kisses me goodbye every morning and tells me he loves me. Then I call him on my way to work and talk for 15 minutes and before we hang up I tell him to have a good day and we tell each other I love you.

Report Inappropriate Comment
KAZZIE531 9/17/2013 9:46AM

    Very Cute........I guess some wife comments would be the same. Yes, sad but true! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TULIPVIC 9/17/2013 8:07AM

    Funny....but sad too.

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTLYLE 9/17/2013 7:56AM

    What a great exercise, it tells you what kind of society we live in today. FYI my GLBH of over 55 years and I tell each other daily "I love you". It sure makes for a better marriage. Skeeter emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
2BDYNAMIC 9/17/2013 7:45AM

    Very hilareios!!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NISSANGIRL 9/17/2013 7:40AM

    I love this!!! thanks so much for sharing!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 9/17/2013 7:25AM

    cute!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JENNY888 9/17/2013 2:06AM

    The responses don't surprise me. Very funny actually.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NAYPOOIE 9/17/2013 12:33AM

    Yeah, I could see that. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 9/16/2013 10:23PM

    emoticon #1

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICEART2010 9/16/2013 9:50PM

    Cute.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BECKYSFRIEND 9/16/2013 9:50PM

    sad

Report Inappropriate Comment
WEARINGTHIN 9/16/2013 9:50PM

    Pretty funny. Glenn

Report Inappropriate Comment


CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTION

Sunday, September 15, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TDMLUVZSNOOPY 9/23/2013 2:35PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 9/16/2013 9:31PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSFITOKSANA 9/16/2013 11:41AM

    So very True!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SERIOUSLIM 9/16/2013 11:18AM

    thanks for sharing.I am working on it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
YMWONG22 9/16/2013 12:25AM

  Agree. This is one of the things to work on continuously.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 9/15/2013 11:44PM

    So very true.

Report Inappropriate Comment


A Farm Kid Joins the Marines

Sunday, September 15, 2013

Dear Ma and Pa,

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you get to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. But I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot, and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing.

Men got to shave but it is not so bad, there's warm water. Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food, plus yours, holds you until noon when you get fed again. It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much.

We go on "route marches," which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it's not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks.

The sergeant is like a school teacher. He nags a lot. The Captain is like the school board. Majors and Colonels just ride around and frown. They don't bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for shooting. I don't know why. The bulls-eye is near as big as a chipmunk head and don't move, and it ain't shooting _at_ you like the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to-hand combat training. You get to wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they break real easy. It ain't like fighting with that ole bull at home. I'm about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time as me, but I'm only 5'6" and 130 pounds and he's 6'8" and near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Alice

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TDMLUVZSNOOPY 9/23/2013 2:38PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DESERTDREAMERS 9/21/2013 10:40AM

    Loved it - especially the end emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
EVER-HOPEFUL 9/16/2013 9:48AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 9/16/2013 7:37AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DOVESEYES 9/15/2013 10:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 9/15/2013 9:44PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 Last Page