SUNSHINE65   67,047
SparkPoints
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Death on Vacation

Saturday, August 17, 2013

During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalam, George's mother-in-law died.

With death certificates in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the states for proper burial.

The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told George that the sending of a body back to the states for burial is very, very expensive. It could cost as much as $5,000.00.

The Consul continues, in most cases the person responsible for the remains normally decides to bury the body here. This would only cost $150.00.

George thinks for some time and answers, "I don't care how much it will cost to send the body back; that's what I want to do."

The Consul, after hearing this, says, "You must have loved your mother-in-law very much consdering the difference in price."

"No, it's not that," says George. "You see, I know of a case from many years ago of a person that was buried here in Jerusalem. On the third day he rose from the dead! I just can't take that chance."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DALID414 8/17/2013 10:58AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/17/2013 9:39AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 8/17/2013 8:10AM

    that was bad..... very very bad!!!!! LOLOLOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
RASPBERRY56 8/17/2013 4:41AM

    emoticon

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
PINKHOPE 8/17/2013 12:55AM

    Great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RORYLYONS 8/17/2013 12:45AM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Funnies...

Friday, August 16, 2013

The New York City Department of Education says that only 26 percent of the city's students passed the English portion on a recent standardized test. But on the bright side, they're too bad at math to realize how bad that is. -Jimmy Fallon

A movie opens today called 'Elysium.' In the movie, earth has been overrun with crime, disease, and pollution. Basically, the entire world is Los Angeles. -Craig Ferguson

There's a new cable channel of entirely dog-based programing called Dog TV. In a related story, there's also an entirely cat-based channel called YouTube. -Conan O'Brien

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRYJESUS2DAY 8/19/2013 11:52PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/16/2013 11:35PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NANCYPAT1 8/16/2013 9:53PM

    Loved these - ESPECIALLY the first one - being a teacher - LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment


Rules of a Scientist's Life

Friday, August 16, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3016DEBRA 8/16/2013 2:35PM

  Those are all applicable for everyone! Thanks for sharing emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 8/16/2013 11:46AM

    I think 11 applies to everyone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 8/16/2013 10:14AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/16/2013 9:42AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUNA89 8/16/2013 9:17AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUNSHINE65 8/16/2013 9:03AM

    Seems like this should apply to all of life!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Lare Nite 8/15

Friday, August 16, 2013

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner has been accused of sexual harassment by 14 women, and now there's so many a hotline has been established to take any new sexual harassment claims. The number is 1-800-How Is This Guy Still Mayor? -Conan O'Brien

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner left his sexual harassment rehab program a week early. He said, 'I'm mostly cured, now I only grab one boob. -Conan O'Brien

North Korea has announced that it's developing its own smartphone. Unfortunately, the phones are so smart, they've already escaped from North Korea. -Conan O'Brien

Some unelected, activist judge has rejected Stop and Frisk on the bizarre theory that minorities have the constitutional right not to be stopped at random and manhandled by strangers. Despite the fact that when the Constitution was written, minorities weren't even invented yet. -Stephen Colbert

The New York City Department of Education says that only 26 percent of the city's students passed the English portion on a recent standardized test. But on the bright side, they're too bad at math to realize how bad that is. -Jimmy Fallon

A movie opens today called 'Elysium.' In the movie, earth has been overrun with crime, disease, and pollution. Basically, the entire world is Los Angeles. -Craig Ferguson

There's a new cable channel of entirely dog-based programing called Dog TV. In a related story, there's also an entirely cat-based channel called YouTube. -Conan O'Brien

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3016DEBRA 8/16/2013 2:44PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 8/16/2013 2:18AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/16/2013 1:10AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ZRIE014 8/16/2013 12:43AM

  we have our own reality show

Report Inappropriate Comment


You mnight be a conservative if...

Thursday, August 15, 2013

1: You’re irate over the president taking so many vacation days on the taxpayer’s dime (61 thus far), but you thought George W. Bush earned every minute of his leisure time (196 days at the same point in his presidency).

2: You’re happy with your 40 hour work week, paid vacations and company-provided healthcare, but you’re strongly anti-union, because those commies haven’t done anything for you lately.

3: You strongly support the First Amendment and its guarantee of religious freedom to all, but you don’t think Muslims have a right to build an Islamic Community Center in Manhattan.

4: You believe Ronald Reagan was a devout Christian, even though he hated going to church, but any president who spends twenty years going to the same Trinity United Church in Chicago must be a Muslim.

5: You believe when a Republican governor creates a healthcare package with an individual mandate for everyone in his state, that’s a good idea. But when a Democratic president does it, suddenly it’s unconstitutional.

6: You’re so enthused about demonstrating your Second Amendment rights, you can think of no finer place to brandish your pistol in public than at a presidential rally.

7: You believe Bill Clinton was responsible for Osama bin Laden’s escape ten years ago, but thankfully George W. Bush caught up with him and killed him in Pakistan.

8: You believe in putting American jobs first, except when president Obama rescued 1.5 million GM and Chrysler autoworkers, because that was socialism.

9: It angers you that you can’t communicate with the Mexican busboy at your local Olive Garden, but when you took a vacation to San Francisco’s Chinatown, you thought it’s quaint that so many Chinese-Americans are holding fast to their traditional language. Because that’s America!

10: You deny that the lunatic who tried to murder Gaby Giffords was a conservative, even though he targeted a Jewish, pro-choice, pro gay rights, Democratic Congresswoman.

11: You thought it was perfectly normal that every president in history had an untethered right to raise the debt ceiling when warranted, but when Obama asked the GOP held congress to do it, you thought it only natural that it be tied to cutting Social Security and Medicare.

12: When the new 112th Congress was sworn in, you swooned as they promised to focus on “Jobs, jobs, jobs.” But when they pivoted, and went after NPR, Planned Parenthood and gay rights, you cheered.

13: You accuse president Obama of raising your taxes to the highest point ever, even though they’re lower today than at any time since 1950.

14: You believe the wealthiest Americans are “job creators,” and they are — but it doesn’t bother you that all the workers in those positions are in India, China and Malaysia, and they’re doing the jobs that our fathers once did.

15: You believe gays are anti-American, because their lifestyle is a threat to the children… unless they’re married to Tea Party-backed presidential candidates from Minnesota.

16: You strongly defend individual freedom, but that freedom doesn’t include a woman’s right to decide her own healthcare needs.

17: You believe corporations are people too, and are deserving of the same rights as the rest of us. Just not the same obligations to pay personal income tax free of corporate loopholes, or penalties for massive criminal behavior and tax evasion. In these matters, corporations are deserving of special rights.

18: And since corporations are now people too, you must believe in their right to a driver’s license, the right to marry, to adopt children, etc. These rights shall not be denied to Exxon, Halliburton and BP (but still immune from the right of the People to try, convict and sentence to death any corporation that conspires to commit a felony… because at that point, they’re suddenly not people again.)

19: You still believe Climate Change is a myth, and the recent record highs, lows, floods and droughts around the world coinciding with climate scientist’s predictions are all an amazing coincidence. Oh, and Al Gore is FAT!

20: You believe when George W. Bush took the national debt from $5 trillion to $11 trillion, it was necessary for him to do so to keep America safe. But when Barack Obama added to it by trying to rescue the country from a second Great Depression, he was deliberately trying to destroy America!

21: You believe America is a God fearing country, and that the Almighty protects those who believe just as you do. But it’s never crossed your mind that the majority of tornados, hurricanes and floods all occur in the Bible Belt.

22: You believe that no matter who’s in the White House, the office, if not the man himself is deserving of your respect. The only exceptions to this rule, are if his middle name sounds Muslim, and if he’s not at least as white as that black guy who works down in the mailroom at the office.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSALIEESTHER 8/19/2013 10:43AM

    Great stuff! And, sadly, all too true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MYREALANA 8/16/2013 8:56AM

    You hit just about every point right on the head.

Uncovering hypocrisy for the win!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MROSE61 8/15/2013 12:48PM

    Thank you!

Report Inappropriate Comment
PDSLIM 8/15/2013 10:10AM

    Too negative for me

Report Inappropriate Comment
UWPALUM 8/15/2013 8:51AM

    I am someone who enjoys reading your blogs regularly, but today is the first day I don't feel like SparkPeople is a community for me. I'm sorry that your experience with conservatives in this country have been so negative, or that people find it funny to make fun of and stereotype a group of people. For me, it's hurtful to see this kind of "humor" in a place that for the past eight months has been a safe place for me to be me. Today I'm questioning that. I proudly refer to myself as being Conservative, but that doesn't mean you know me, or that these comments apply to me. My only wish moving forward is that my "friends" on SP will not judge me for my political convictions, but will allow me to be me and continue to support me, regardless of who I may or may not vote for in the future.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 8/15/2013 2:14AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NAYPOOIE 8/15/2013 1:20AM

    Way too true.

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANBEAMON 8/15/2013 12:40AM

  good laugh, except all of that is unfortunately true.
23. You believe all scientists are Godless heathens and liars scamming the government unless they publicly claim that evolution is impossible.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ECONLADY 8/15/2013 12:32AM

    Agreed!

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 Last Page