SUNSHINE65   49,912
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Hiding the Evidence

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they'd eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she'd polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed.
"What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked.
"He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half."


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMJSATURN 2/14/2011 12:12AM

    That is creative emoticon

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BOOKWERME 2/13/2011 10:03PM

    Hate to admit it but there was a time when I would have done that, or something like it!!! Glad those days are gone! emoticon

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ELLFIN3 2/13/2011 8:04PM

    Oh my word!!!!! That is bad bad!!!!! Enjoy your evening!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 2/13/2011 9:26AM

    That wins the "chuckle of the day" award. Thanks for sharing.

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TWOTIMESS 2/13/2011 5:56AM

    emoticon emoticon
Oh my!

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WAYS TO STAY STRESSED

Monday, February 07, 2011

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS......and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HONEYBEE56 2/13/2011 6:53AM

    That should do it alright...for that matter any one of those things should do it!

Great advice! But I prefer not to go there! LOL
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YIGOBUTTERFLY 2/13/2011 6:38AM

    What a plan... Now stay as far away as possible to all these ideas!

Have a great day.

Jane on Guam

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SPORTSMOM03 2/8/2011 10:39AM

    Great blog - I am definitely going to try to get more stress!! emoticon

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In Good Company

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

My daughter couldn't muster the willpower to lose unwanted pounds. One day, watching a svelte friend walking up our driveway, she lamented, "Linda's so skinny it makes me sick."
"If it bothers you," I suggested gently, "why don't you do something about it?"
"Good idea, Mom," she replied. Turning to her friend, she called out, "Hey, Linda, have a piece of chocolate cake."

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 2/3/2011 5:03AM

    Great friend there. emoticon

Jane

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ELLFIN3 2/2/2011 8:52PM

    Oh my!!!! : ) Have a great evening!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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Secret Switch

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

After noticing how trim my husband had become, a friend asked me how I had persuaded him to diet. It was then I shared my dark secret: "I put our teenage son's shorts in his underwear drawer."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 2/3/2011 6:20AM

    Your poor hubby. The jokes you tell on him!

Next year you have to drag him to our get together.

Jane

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ELLFIN3 2/1/2011 3:02PM

    emoticon emoticon WooHoo for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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2BEATIT1 2/1/2011 8:44AM

    There's more than one way to skin a cat! Good move and apparently it worked.
Thanks for giving me a laugh first thing in the morning.
Jean

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SHREKWARD 2/1/2011 3:05AM

    emoticon
Good job!

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Something to Prove

Monday, January 31, 2011

Although I was only a few pounds overweight, my wife was harping on me to diet. One evening we took a brisk walk downtown, and I surprised her by jumping over a parking meter, leapfrog style.
Pleased with myself, I said, "How many fat men do you know who can do that?"
"One," she retorted.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BEATIT1 2/1/2011 8:50AM

    cute.
Thanks for sharing
Jean

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ELLFIN3 1/31/2011 3:32PM

    emoticon emoticon
Thanks!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 1/31/2011 4:57AM

    Funny! Love it! emoticon

Jane on Guam


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