SUNSHINE65   67,256
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The Fine Print

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Needing to shed a few pounds, my husband and I went on a diet that had specific recipes for each meal of the day. I followed the instructions closely, dividing the finished recipe in half for our individual plates. We felt terrific and thought the diet was wonderful—we never felt hungry!

But when we realized we were gaining weight, not losing it, I checked the recipes again. There, in fine print, was "Serves 6."


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GGMFAY 2/17/2011 8:37PM

    Probably almost the same size portion you would get if eating out. emoticon

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JAQUANAH 2/17/2011 6:47PM

    emoticon Another good reason to check serving sizes before you eat anything.

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ELLFIN3 2/16/2011 12:05PM

    Oh Nooooooo!! How funny! Thanks for sharing!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Things Women Want to Hear, but Never Do

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Wow, I just don't know what to do with this money we won in the lottery, so why don't you take it to the mall and see if you can find something to buy with it.

Hey, how about inviting your mother to spend the summer with us.

Oh, go ahead and eat that third piece of chocolate cream pie. If it's one thing I hate it's skinny women.

What luck, they had a special rental rate at the video store on romance movies.

You know, that Pam Anderson just doesn't seem to have the brain power that I find so attractive in a woman.

What a break, I won a prize on the radio station.... tickets to either the super bowl or the opening of the New York Ballet. I got first choice so pack your bags for New York, we get to go to the ballet!!!

Who wants to play golf when I can get to see how good the lawn looks when it's freshly mowed.

Shoot, there's nothing on TV but football games. Let's go furniture shopping.

Man I tell you, nothing feels better than getting all spruced up in a suit and tie.

I'm getting a little tired of steak on the grill. How about a nice quiche?

You know, I think I'd really prefer the four-door sedan to that impractical Corvette.

Golly I think we're lost. Let me find a gas station to ask for directions.

My golf clubs are only 30 years old. Why don't you use the money my parents gave us to get something nice for the house.

If the guys call and want me to go to that new sports club with them, tell them I'm busy. I really want to get the living room painted tonight.

Sports cars are just such stupid little toys for men who have never really grown up.

If you're looking for me later, I'll be over there looking at the home decorating magazines.

You know, we really don't visit your relatives enough.

Why don't you relax this weekend. I'll take care of the cooking and housework.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PINKHOPE 2/15/2011 10:44PM

    Great read :)

Some made me laugh out loud!

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Monday, February 14, 2011

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. age 10

What is the right age to get married? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. age 10

How can a stranger tell if two people are married? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. age 8

What do you think your mom and dad have in common? Both don't want any more kids. age8

Is it better to be single or married? It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. age 9

How would the world be different if people didn't get married? THere sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? age 8

What do most people do on a date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. age 8 and On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. age 10

When is it OK to kiss someone? When they're rich. age 7

The law says you have to be 18, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. age7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. age 8

And my favorite is: Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. age 10"


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARLIZG 2/18/2011 11:37AM

    54 years & he still makes my heart leap! He was the right one!

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BEEBEE1936 2/18/2011 3:42AM

    "Out of the mouths of babes"

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DIDMIS 2/17/2011 10:50AM

    Now that was cute. You might have gotten more responses if you had put joke on it though as the topic might not interest most of us.
It does interest me though and I know the answer.
Be sure it is the will of the Lord.

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NTSOHLTHNT 2/15/2011 7:08PM

    Thanks for the laughs!!!!

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2BEATIT1 2/15/2011 4:41PM

    That is cute.
Thanks for sharing and giving us a smile.

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ELLFIN3 2/15/2011 12:31PM

    emoticon emoticon Those are great!! Thanks for sharing!!! emoticon emoticon

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Hiding the Evidence

Saturday, February 12, 2011

A member of a diet club bemoaned her lack of will-power. She'd made her family's favorite cake over the weekend, she explained, and they'd eaten half of it. The next day, however, the uneaten half beckoned. She cut herself a slice. Then another, and another. By the time she'd polished off the cake, she knew her husband would be disappointed.
"What did he say when he found out?" one club member asked.
"He never found out," she said. "I made another cake and ate half."


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMJSATURN 2/14/2011 12:12AM

    That is creative emoticon

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BOOKWERME 2/13/2011 10:03PM

    Hate to admit it but there was a time when I would have done that, or something like it!!! Glad those days are gone! emoticon

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ELLFIN3 2/13/2011 8:04PM

    Oh my word!!!!! That is bad bad!!!!! Enjoy your evening!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 2/13/2011 9:26AM

    That wins the "chuckle of the day" award. Thanks for sharing.

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TWOTIMESS 2/13/2011 5:56AM

    emoticon emoticon
Oh my!

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Monday, February 07, 2011

Are you worried now about how to stay stressed? You'll have no trouble if you practice the following clinically proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cigarette smoke can't cleanse your system, a balanced diet isn't likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Don't take time to listen, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE - BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL. Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS......and either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you don't meet them.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it shouldn't be treated as one.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HONEYBEE56 2/13/2011 6:53AM

    That should do it alright...for that matter any one of those things should do it!

Great advice! But I prefer not to go there! LOL
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 2/13/2011 6:38AM

    What a plan... Now stay as far away as possible to all these ideas!

Have a great day.

Jane on Guam

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SPORTSMOM03 2/8/2011 10:39AM

    Great blog - I am definitely going to try to get more stress!! emoticon

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