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Camping Tips

Thursday, May 16, 2013

- Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and eating all the ants.

- A hot rock placed in your sleeping bag will keep your feet warm. A hot enchilada works almost as well, but the cheese sticks between your toes.

- The best backpacks are named for national parks or mountain ranges. Steer clear of those named for landfills.

- When camping, always wear a long-sleeved shirt. It gives you something to wipe your nose on.

- Take this simple test to see if you qualify for solo camping. Shine a flashlight into one ear. If the beam shines out the other ear, do not go into the woods alone.

- A two-man pup tent does not include two men or a pup.

- A potato baked in the coals for one hour makes an excellent side dish. A potato baked in the coals for three hours makes an excellent hockey puck.

- In emergency situations, you can survive in the wilderness by shooting small game with a slingshot made from the elastic waistband of your underwear.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 5/16/2013 4:16PM

    These were hilarious - love 'em emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 5/16/2013 11:09AM

    Don't knock underwear elastic. Mythbusters built a crossbow with it.

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WOUBBIE 5/16/2013 10:20AM

    XD

Posting this on our Troop website right now!

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DALID414 5/16/2013 9:22AM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 5/16/2013 9:12AM

    funny!

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LOSIN_IT4GOOD 5/16/2013 2:58AM

    Ha Ha! Fun stuff! emoticon

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COLLEENROSTE 5/16/2013 2:40AM

    good to know-- never been much of a camper haha

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Funny spelling bloopers

Thursday, May 16, 2013

[Following are some very funny spelling bloopers caught in local newspapers, publications and various emails. See if you can catch the goofs.]

1. "...an autopsy to determine if the elderly man lost courteousness for medical reasons." (Trenton, N.J.)

2. "[An NBA coach] will take charge of a young team still in the throws of a roster overhaul." (Vernon, Conn.)

3. "'It's pretty exciting,' according to his material grandmother." (Potsdam, N.Y.)

4. "The MCCC fight team won 21 out of 32 awards and brought home nine metals." Including the gold? (Trenton, N.J.)

5. "McNabb...exasperated the injury attempting to chase down Dallas Cowboys safety Roy Williams." (Trenton, N.J.)

6. "Boxer Pups AKC, 1M, 1F, Bread for Health and Temperament." (e-mail)

7. "[Paris Hilton] was probably going through cocaine withdrawls." Is she from the South? (Sunnyvale, Calif.)

8. "Our lunch menu [includes] a variety of hot entrees and tempting deserts." Presumably also hot. (Upper Saint Clair, Pa.)

9. "Vincent was a brawny Swiss ex-patriot." (San Jose, CA)

10. "...those who acquaint shopping with charity." (Simsbury, Conn.)

----

Corrections: 1. consciousness 2. throes 3. maternal 4. medals 5. exacerbated 6. bred 7. withdrawals 8. desserts 9. expatriate 10. equate

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 5/16/2013 11:11AM

    Me too.

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DALID414 5/16/2013 9:26AM

    I caught 'em all! emoticon

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nite

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Some experts are saying that the 2016 Democratic presidential race could come down to Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden. Biden is calling her a worthy opponent, while Hillary is calling him ‘practice’. -Jimmy Fallon


According to a new report, Al Gore now has more money than Mitt Romney. Gore said ‘Mitt and I are living proof that if you’re a boring white guy, anything is possible’ -Conan O'Brien


Mexico’s economy has been on the upswing the last couple of years. They’re getting investors from companies all over the world. In fact, Mexico is now home to 11 million undocumented Americans. -Jay Leno


The National Park Service is launching a new campaign to attract younger visitors. It has a very creative slogan: ‘National Parks: Nobody Knows You’re Drinking in Here’. -Jimmy Fallon


"A new study found that the way someone sneezes can say a lot about a person. For example, if they hold their sneeze in, they're humble. If they cover it, they're respectful. And if they just sneeze into the air, they're standing next to you on the subway." -Jimmy Fallon



"There is a big movie out today: 'The Great Gatsby.' They should have jazzed up the movie's title. They should have called it something like '2 Fast 2 Gatsby.'" -Craig Ferguson



"The Statue of Liberty is reopening on July 4. It has been closed since last year. What happened was she went in for lap band surgery." -David Letterman

  
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PDSLIM 5/15/2013 10:57AM

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Ltae Ntie Fnuneis

Monday, May 13, 2013

A poll taken this week said that 44 percent of Republicans believe that armed rebellion may be necessary in the next few years to protect their liberties. You know what, I wish these screw-ups would start their armed rebellion. I just want to see the look on their face when they walk out of the Waffle Hut and get smoked by a drone. -Bill Maher


Senator Tom Coburn has introduced a new gun background check plan that would allow people to perform self-background checks before buying a gun. The way the plan works is, it doesn’t. -Seth Meyers


Unemployment is at the lowest rate in four years and the stock market hit 15,000 for the first time, or as FOX News put it ‘Gosh darn Obama. Always undoing George Bush’s greatest accomplishments.’ -Bill Maher



Yesterday President Obama warned Congress not to delay the immigration reform bill. You can tell he’s getting tough because if they keep delaying the bill, he says he might even warn them again. -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 5/16/2013 4:14PM

    emoticon

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DALID414 5/14/2013 9:24AM

    emoticon

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PDSLIM 5/14/2013 8:25AM

    groan

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WOUBBIE 5/13/2013 11:20PM

    Yup. Obama.

Worst. Socialist. Ever.

Comment edited on: 5/13/2013 11:20:34 PM

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late funnies

Monday, May 13, 2013

"A new study found that women think men holding a guitar are more attractive, even if they are not playing it. In a related story, guys with an accordion will die alone." -Jimmy Fallon



"NASA is taking applications for people who want to live on Mars. Now here are the requirements: You have to be between the ages of 18 and 40 and insane." -David Letterman



"Giant African land snails have been found in Florida and Texas. If you're in Houston and you see a giant snail coming toward you, walk slowly for your life." -Jimmy Kimmel

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 5/16/2013 4:14PM

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PDSLIM 5/14/2013 8:24AM

    teehee

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WOUBBIE 5/13/2013 10:59PM

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BECKYSFRIEND 5/13/2013 9:55PM

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23KAIYA 5/13/2013 5:41PM

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BABCIATEA 5/13/2013 5:39PM

    smiling emoticon

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TESENISIS1 5/13/2013 4:48PM

    Thanks for the smile!

Tes

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