SUNSHINE65   67,568
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Late Nightl Funnies

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

"A woman in Florida crashed her car into a Target store. But in her defense, the store did have a giant target on it." -Jimmy Fallon



"Health experts have named Mississippi the fattest state in the Union. The state bird of Mississippi? The fried chicken." -Jay Leno



"A study showed that every hour of TV you watch after the age of 25 shortens your life by 22 minutes. That doesn't sound too bad to me. You'd probably watch TV with that 22 minutes anyway." -Jimmy Kimmel


I believe the time is right. Anthony wiener is a changed man. His own brother gave The New York Times this moving testimonial: 'There was definitely a douchiness about him I don't see anymore.' I think his mayoral campaign just found his slogan: 'Anthony Weiner, now less douchey.' That reduction, that lowering in the douchey level, has not come easy. As Weiner's brother pointed out, 'No one has been harder on him than he has been on him than he has been on himself.' And we all know how hard he can be on himself. -
Stephen Colbert


Former Rep. Anthony Weiner? Remember him? He famously tweeted lewd photos of himself. He says he wants people to give him a second chance. Not in politics, but on Instagram. -Conan O'Brien



Former Congressman Anthony Weiner said that he's considering running for mayor of New York City. If nothing else I'm sure that he'll provide some stiff competition. Come on, he's the total package. I don't want to be too hard on him. I don't have a bone to pick with that guy. -Jimmy Fallon


Anthony Weiner, remember him? The Peter Tweeter? He's now thinking of running for mayor of New York. And believe me, he has thought long and hard about this. The Wall Street Journal said that Mr. Weiner didn't respond to an email seeking comment. Hey, Anthony Weiner didn't email or text you back? Consider yourself lucky! -Jay Leno

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TWEETYKC00 5/9/2013 4:47AM

    good stuff!

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FITANDFIFTY2 5/9/2013 12:45AM

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DALID414 5/8/2013 2:11PM

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VAHINA 5/8/2013 1:52PM

    YUK!! enough is enough

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MARGARITTM 5/8/2013 12:04PM

    emoticon

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WOUBBIE 5/8/2013 10:03AM

    Oh, Anthony. The weiner jokes just go on and on, don't they?

Used to love that guy - funny as heck. Meh. If New Yorkers decide to forgive him then I will too.

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HELEN_BRU 5/8/2013 8:13AM

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NYARAMULA 5/8/2013 5:29AM

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SOPHIEDO13 5/8/2013 4:19AM

    Sad state of affairs re: Weiner I guess only politics will have him !!

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DOVESEYES 5/8/2013 3:04AM

    emoticon

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You Know You're in Texas When...

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

- The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

- The trees are whistling for the dogs.

- The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

- Hot water now comes out of both taps.

- You can make sun tea instantly.

- You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

- The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.

- You discover that in July it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.

- You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.

- You actually burn your hand opening the car door.

- You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.

- Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

- You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.

- The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

- Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying boiled eggs.

- The cows are giving evaporated milk.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DALID414 5/8/2013 2:09PM

    Cook to death emoticon

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COLLEENROSTE 5/8/2013 5:54AM

    still longing for some warmer weather to take the ache out of my bones= your chuckles definitely have thawed my heart

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SUCCESSN2014 5/8/2013 3:18AM

    Lived in TX most of my life, funny as heck!



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SCAREWALDORF 5/8/2013 3:11AM

    We never have those issues in England lol

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DIDMIS 5/8/2013 2:21AM

    Ha ha. I live in deep south Texas and I know what you mean.


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Requesting a three day pass

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.

The CO says "Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!"

So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!

The CO was so impressed, he asked "How did you do it?"

"Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? So we exchanged tanks!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 5/7/2013 9:47AM

    emoticon

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HELEN_BRU 5/7/2013 8:42AM

    There's always a way! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 5/7/2013 6:28AM

    Good one!

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DOVESEYES 5/7/2013 3:58AM

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DALID414 5/7/2013 1:13AM

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JEANINNEWCASTLE 5/7/2013 12:57AM

  LOL emoticon

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Queen Size

Sunday, May 05, 2013

A little boy went to the store with his grandmother and on the way home, he was looking at the things she had purchased.

He found a package of panty hose and began to sound out the words "Queen Size".

He then turned to his grandmother and exclaimed,

"Look Grandma, you wear the same size as our bed!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 5/6/2013 3:23PM

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COFFEEMUG2009 5/6/2013 8:00AM

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NAYPOOIE 5/6/2013 12:38AM

    LOL

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ONLYTEMPORARY 5/5/2013 11:17PM

    Love it!

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DALID414 5/5/2013 11:15PM

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SONYALATRECE 5/5/2013 11:14PM

    emoticon Love this kid!

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YA, WHAT?????!!!

Saturday, May 04, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARDENCHRIS 5/5/2013 9:55AM

    A 15 year old is to young for birth control.... and what ....you never played cops and robbers or cowboys and Indians?? you don't know what you missed out on....

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DALID414 5/5/2013 12:06AM

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PDSLIM 5/4/2013 10:54PM

    agree

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ELSCO55 5/4/2013 9:54PM

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JUNA89 5/4/2013 9:33PM

    emoticon sad......

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