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Who broke down the walls of Jericho?

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Who broke down the walls of Jericho?

The visiting Bible school supervisor asks little Johnny during Bible class, "Who broke down the walls of Jericho?"

Little Johnny replies, "I dunno, but it wasn't me!"

The supervisor, taken aback by Johnny's lack of basic Bible knowledge goes to the school principal and relates the whole incident.

The principal replies, "I know Little Johnny as well as his whole family very well and can vouch for them; if Little Johnny said that he did not do it, then I, as principal is satisfied that it is the truth."

Even more appalled, the inspector goes to the regional Head of Education and relates the whole story...

After listening he replies: "I can't see why you are making such a big issue out of this; just get three quotes and fix the wall!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AUNTWILLIE 4/19/2013 6:00PM

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MISSDAISY23 4/19/2013 12:01PM

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ANASARI 4/18/2013 12:44PM

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DOVESEYES 4/17/2013 8:10PM

    Love it!!

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DALID414 4/17/2013 2:37PM

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Funnies...

Monday, April 15, 2013

Top Ten Things Overheard at the Denny's Wedding

10. "I guess the Waffle House was booked"
9. "I said I wanted to get married at Disney"
8. "You think this is bad - they're having their honeymoon at Sleepy's"
7. "You may now exchange onion rings"
6. "By the power vested in me, the assistant manager, Keith..."
5. "I'd like to read a passage from appetizers"
4. "You got them a deep fryer? I got them a deep fryer!"
3. "We're registered at Jenny Craig"
2. "The waiter's in the kitchen giving the maid of honor a sausage slam"
1. "You may now Heimlich the bride"

David Letterman


Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear From Your Accountant

10. Take off your clothes and sit on the examining table (Harvey Tanton)
9. Good news -- you earned enough to co-sign my mortgage! (Whitney Boyd)
8. My client Wesley Snipes said prison wasn't so bad (Phil Defalco)
7. Would you like to touch my rubber thumb? (Lawrence Spielman)
6. I'm faxing over your 1099 form right now [makes faxing sound] (Gary Schatsky)
5. Care to make a tax-deductible donation to the Taliban? (Bob Manger)
4. Give me fifty bucks -- I'll make your taxes disappear (Andrew Ross)
3. Do you have someplace to stay until things blow over? (Sandra Bussell)
2. Ignore the blood stains (Richard Koenigsberg)
1. Ey, Nice W-2s (Andrew Rubin)

David Letterman


During a fundraiser, President Obama raised some eyebrows when he called California’s Kamala Harris, quote, ‘the best-looking attorney general in the country’. Of course he said it was just a joke. Then Michelle was like, ‘Well, here’s another one: What’s black and white and sleeps on the couch?’ -Jimmy Fallon


North Korea has the same ability to launch a nuclear strike against America as I do. It’s like walking through a parking lot and getting barked at by a chihuahua locked in a car. -Bill Maher

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANASARI 4/16/2013 10:50AM

    LOL Loved it, thanks for the chuckles!

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IMREITE 4/15/2013 11:53PM

    i like lists of jokes

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WOUBBIE 4/15/2013 10:45PM

    I upvote BIll Maher's Chihuahua joke.

That reminds me of Jimmy Kimmel's comment about Maher at the White House Correspondents' Dinner last year:

“And by the way, just to clear things up for the extreme right-wingers, here’s the difference between Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh: the people who watch Bill Maher KNOW he’s an a--hole.”

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DOVESEYES 4/15/2013 10:38PM

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GRANDMABABA 4/15/2013 10:36PM

    Thanks for the giggles

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RAPUNZEL53 4/15/2013 9:54PM

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DALID414 4/15/2013 9:39PM

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BECKYSFRIEND 4/15/2013 9:30PM

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Nite...

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Right now there are two Kims in the news. There’s Kim Jong-Un, who’s the leader of North Korea, and then there’s Kim Kardaishian, the reality star who’s having a baby with Kanye West. It can be kind of tough to keep track of who’s who. Kim Kardashian’s life is like a roller coaster; Kim Jong-Un isn’t tall enough to ride one. Kim Kardashian’s favorite movie is called Failure to Launch; Kim Jong-Un’s nuclear program is called Failure to Launch. -Jimmy Kimmel


Tensions continue to mount in this North Korea situation. The U.S. has moved a Navy warship off the coast of the Korean Peninsula. Is that going to scare the North Koreans? If you really want to scare them, don’t send a warship. Send a Carnival cruise ship. -Jay Leno


It seems like every single day, President Obama finds a new way to waste our tax dollars. I mean, two daughters? Seems a little redundant. -Stephen Colbert


Yesterday NBC announced Jay’s retirement. And today they officially began regretting it. But you don’t have to worry. Jay always bounces back and that’s what Fallon ought to be worried about. -David Letterman


Former President George Bush has invited President Obama to the opening of his presidential library later this month. President Obama said he's looking forward to going through the library to see if there was anything else he could blame Bush for. -Jay Leno

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMALIA8 4/13/2013 12:49PM

    Those are good! Thanks for sharing! Keep up the fabulous work!

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DALID414 4/13/2013 11:57AM

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WOUBBIE 4/13/2013 11:07AM

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MARYJOANNA 4/13/2013 10:30AM

  The blame game goes on!

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DOVESEYES 4/13/2013 2:52AM

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Late nite...

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Former President George Bush has invited President Obama to the opening of his presidential library later this month. President Obama said he's looking forward to going through the library to see if there was anything else he could blame Bush for. -Jay Leno


President Obama will attend the dedication of George W. Bush's library this month. Apparently there's still a lot of debris around the new building, or as Obama put it, 'Don't look at me, I'm still cleaning up your last mess.' -Jimmy Fallon


I want to congratulate our good friend Jimmy Fallon. He's going to do a great job. I just have one request for Jimmy: We've all fought, kicked, and scratched to get this network up to fifth place – now we have to keep it there. Jimmy, don't let it slip into 6th. We are counting on you. -Jay Leno


How many folks earlier today saw the white smoke coming out of the chimney at NBC? I got a call from my mom today. She says, 'Well, David, I see you didn't get 'The Tonight Show' again.' -David Letterman

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 4/12/2013 11:17AM

    LOL. I'm going to miss Leno.

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AMALIA8 4/12/2013 9:00AM

    LOL. Those are great! I liked the last one the best but the second one made me laugh as well. Keep up the fantastic work!

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DOVESEYES 4/11/2013 11:45PM

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JOYFULGRATITUDE 4/11/2013 11:38PM

    That's too funny! LOL

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DALID414 4/11/2013 11:02PM

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CASTIRONLADY 4/11/2013 10:40PM

    Funny! Good that you can stay up that late!!! emoticon

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Computer Joke

Thursday, April 11, 2013

New customer to Tech Support: "It says, hit any key and when I do that nothing happens."

Tech Support:"Can you try again and tell me what happens?"

Customer: "Tried but nothin."

Tech Support: "What key did you hit?"

After a moment and some clicking sound the customer replied: "Well, first I tried my car key and just now my office key"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JACKIE542 4/11/2013 10:46PM

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DOVESEYES 4/11/2013 8:37PM

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MARGARITTM 4/11/2013 2:18PM

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BRENNRENN 4/11/2013 1:47PM

    Thank you for that! Made me chuckle! Ha haa!! emoticon

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DALID414 4/11/2013 1:04PM

    Yeah, those keys never work for me either! emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 4/11/2013 12:46PM

    I believe it.

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3016DEBRA 4/11/2013 12:39PM

  Probably has really happened! emoticon

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ALIHIKES 4/11/2013 11:34AM

    Love it!

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KATIEM929 4/11/2013 11:25AM

    emoticon Very cute! :)

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