SUNSHINE65   60,151
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Quotes

Wednesday, April 03, 2013

"It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it." -Sam Levenson

***

"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later." -Mitch Hedberg

***

"You need to be careful when writing comments," our principal told the faculty. He held a report card for a Susan Crabbe. A colleague had written, "Susan is beginning to come out of her shell."

  
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HPSANDDOLLAR 4/4/2013 8:18AM

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Late...

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

A new poll shows that 64 percent of New Jersey residents don't care about New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's weight. That's mostly because Chris Christie IS 64 percent of New Jersey. -Conan O'Brien


Congresswoman Michele Bachmann is under investigation for alleged misuse of campaign funds. She's blaming the accusations on her arch nemesis: the facts. -Jay Leno


Top Ten Questions On The Dog IQ Test

10. Did you eat the dishtowel?
9. If a car is moving at 30 mph and you chase it at 15 mph, how soon will you catch it?
8. Sit
7. What is it, boy, trouble at the mill?
6. Kibbles, bits, or none of the above?
5. Paw? 4.
Conjugate "woof"
3. Who's a good doggie?
2. Summarize the advantage of licking yourself
1. Can you parallel park a car? (video of dog driving a car)

-David Letterman


Last year there was some trouble at the White House's Easter egg hunt. One kid looking for eggs turned up Obama's birth certificate. -David Letterman

  
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DALID414 4/3/2013 12:10AM

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DOVESEYES 4/2/2013 11:50PM

    Ha ha I saw the Kiwis teaching the dog to drive amazing only they would have the patience!!!

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MCFITZ2 4/2/2013 11:09PM

    Lassie what is it. Is Timmy in the well?


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MSJESSPDX 4/2/2013 11:01PM

    This made me smile at the end of a very long day--thank you!

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AMALIA8 4/2/2013 10:44PM

    LOL. Nice! Keep up the great work!

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Poor Medusa!

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

  
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PAMNANGEL 4/6/2013 12:40AM

    Oops!🐍🐍🐍

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CAROLYNVIL 4/4/2013 3:55PM

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CHRIS3874 4/2/2013 9:02PM

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STEELKICKIN 4/2/2013 9:01PM

    LOL!!!!

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DOVESEYES 4/2/2013 7:51PM

    Oops that's awkward!!!

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NAYPOOIE 4/2/2013 12:35PM

    LOL

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YMWONG22 4/2/2013 11:38AM

  Haha ... funny. Thank you!
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EVER-HOPEFUL 4/2/2013 11:11AM

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KESTRYLL 4/2/2013 11:11AM

    Very funny, love it.

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ALIHIKES 4/2/2013 11:05AM

    Love it! very funny

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ROSE-LITE 4/2/2013 11:04AM

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Late Night...

Tuesday, April 02, 2013

Congresswoman Michele Bachmann is under investigation for alleged misuse of campaign funds. She's blaming the accusations on her arch nemesis: the facts. -Jay Leno



Today is the second day on which the Supreme Court heard arguments for and against same-sex marriage, commonly referred to as gay marriage, which is commonly referred to as the magic of Siegfried and Roy. -David Letterman



Yesterday former CIA director David Petraeus apologized for having an affair with his biographer. He said he hopes this begins a new chapter in his life. It got awkward when he said, 'Any of you ladies want to write it?' -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMALIA8 4/2/2013 6:45AM

    LOL. That last one was great. I was thinking it was a great pun to use the word "chapter in his life" and then it was made even better by his next comment. LOL. Keep up the great work!

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JTREMBATH 4/2/2013 2:24AM

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Coupla laffs...

Sunday, March 31, 2013


A flight instructor was sent out to help a trainee who had radioed that he was about to make a forced landing a few miles from the base. The instructor spotted the plane standing in a field small enough to present a real challenge to his professional reputation.

With determination, full flaps and engine just above the stall, he maneuvered into the field. Climbing out, he shouted angrily to the trainee, "Just how did you manage to get into such a small field?"

"I landed in the big field over there," the trainee pointed, "but in order to leave room for you, I had the farmer tow me here."


***

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?"

"98," she replied, "Two years older than me."

"So, you're 96," the undertaker commented.

She responded, "Hardly worth going home, is it?"

  
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BARCLE 4/1/2013 5:11PM

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EVER-HOPEFUL 4/1/2013 4:06PM

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AMALIA8 4/1/2013 7:39AM

    I love the flight one. LOL. Keep up the wonderful work hun!

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MESEATURTLE 4/1/2013 12:53AM

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DALID414 4/1/2013 12:21AM

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DOVESEYES 3/31/2013 11:42PM

    LOL emoticon

know the feeling!!!

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