SUNSHINE65   60,977
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings

Friday, March 15, 2013

The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a reeking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2BDYNAMIC 3/15/2013 11:45PM

    Sad ........... But true .................. (funny too!) ..............
(I'm sure many will take heed!) ............... emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 3/15/2013 7:08AM

    emoticon

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DOVESEYES 3/15/2013 1:36AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 3/15/2013 12:54AM

    emoticon

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Not a funny blog

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Ok, Just been through a tooth drama. Well it's a drama for me, anyway. My nightmare is of my teeth breaking up and spitting them out. Three weeks ago a front tooth (a #10 if you know the numbers of the teeth) which was crowned (2nd time) broke and was hanging and wagging back and forth. Freaked me out! Saw my dentist, said there was nothing that could be done and I'd have to have an implant. Had those before, no big deal, right? Well, I opted to pay $620 dollars to sleep through it. And am I glad I did! Dig out the root, do bone grafts, and implant the titanium screw. Took an hour, longer than they thought. Sooo glad I was asleep. Trekked over to the dentist's and got an impression for a $700 cosmetic flipper since it was a front tooth and I have a front desk job. Got that a few days later and it works well. Can't eat with it, but I can take it out and eat fine. Thanks for listening! Love, Gayle

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROSALIEESTHER 3/17/2013 8:39AM

    Poor Baby! What a nightmare indeed. Do glad it all turned out well. Those implants are there for the long haul. So no more bad dreams about that tooth.

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/15/2013 2:51AM

    you are braver that me i have an obsolute phobia of dentist and haven´t been in donkey´s years lol. emoticon emoticon

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DOVESEYES 3/15/2013 1:36AM

    emoticon emoticon

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DALID414 3/15/2013 12:43AM

    Wow! And to think I've been delaying my cleaning! I'll schedule my appointment tomorrow!!

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DIET_FRIEND 3/14/2013 11:14PM

    Dentistry is so expensive. My dad went to Costa Rica and got all his teeth ( i think) root canaled and capped. It cost 25,000 to do and required 2 trips to costa rica. I wish I could pull that off.

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Driven to Distraction

Thursday, March 14, 2013

- Only in America can a pizza guy get to your door faster than an ambulance.

- Why do slow-down and slow-up mean the same thing?

- Why are wise man and wise guy opposites?

- Why is it that when stuff goes on a truck it's called a shipment and on a boat it's called cargo?

- Why do we drive in a parkway and park in a driveway?

- Why do we press harder on things when we know the batteries are dead?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 3/14/2013 11:57AM

    LOL

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WOUBBIE 3/14/2013 10:13AM

    :)

Glad you post these! I'll go back through your old blogs for laughs while I'm waiting for Stewart and Colbert to come back from their breaks!

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GARDENCHRIS 3/14/2013 7:11AM

    emoticon

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DOVESEYES 3/14/2013 6:45AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 3/14/2013 12:51AM

    emoticon

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ZRIE014 3/14/2013 12:46AM

  have a good day

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Late Night Funnies

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Late Night Funny #1

A major snowstorm has hit the East Coast. In Washington, D.C., everything ground to a halt – and then the snowstorm hit. -Conan O'Brien


Late Night Funny #2

Due to budget cuts, all tours of the White House have been canceled indefinitely. When he heard, Joe Biden said, 'Now I'll never see it.' -Conan O'Brien


Late Night Funny #3

Today Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell released a Harlem Shake video. So just when you think a trend is dead, it's made cool again by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. -Conan O'Brien


Late Night Funny #4

The people of Venezuela aren't sure who'll replace Hugo Chavez. CBS suggested Ashton Kutcher. -Craig Ferguson

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BOPPY_ 3/14/2013 1:28AM

    #4 gets my vote. emoticon

Lee emoticon

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KARRENLYNN 3/14/2013 12:18AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 3/14/2013 12:17AM

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It Doesn't Surprise Me That There is a...

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

- Rudeville, New Jersey
- Boring, Oregon
- Hell, Michigan
- Hooker, California
- Virgin, Utah
- Dulls Corner, Maryland
- Bowlegs, Oklahoma
- Volcano, Hawaii
- Beersville, Pennsylvania
- Fleatown, Ohio
- Burnt Corn, Alabama
- Two Guns, Arizona
- Toad Suck, Arkansas


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DALID414 3/13/2013 11:27PM

    emoticon I should resent the California one, but we asked for it!

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/13/2013 5:02PM

    you forgot cocks#it in salop,england

there is a h in place of the # but spark people wouldn´t let me pot it with the h in lol.

Comment edited on: 3/13/2013 5:04:20 PM

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2ABBYNORMAL 3/13/2013 3:04PM

    Really funny!
I'd love to say that I live in Two Guns, Arizona.
emoticon

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HHB4181 3/13/2013 2:35PM

    emoticon

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MIATIA1 3/13/2013 2:22PM

    I'm so gald to hear that our Montana towns Two Dot, Lame Deer, Big Sky and the likes ..are in good company emoticon

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SPARKLISE 3/13/2013 11:51AM

    emoticon

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WOUBBIE 3/13/2013 11:37AM

    I, on the other hand, am not at all surprised to see that Beersville is in PA - just shocked that it's in eastern PA not western!

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DOVESEYES 3/13/2013 11:18AM

    emoticon

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DLBROWN93 3/13/2013 11:15AM

    It surprises me that Rudeville is not in New York! emoticon

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ROSE-LITE 3/13/2013 11:12AM

  oh my goodness.. Toad suck, Arkansas? ha!

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