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Deep Thoughts about Pigs & Sheep

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

- Do you think sheep know when you're pulling the wool over their eyes?

- Does the person who inventories sheep often fall asleep on the job?

- If a pig is sold to the pawn shop is it then called a ham-hock?

- If we make sweaters out of a sheep's hair, what do the sheep use to make sweaters?

- If you can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear what can you make with it?

- If you pushed a pig down a hill would he be a sausage roll?

- What do pigs say when they don't want to do something? Would it be 'Yea when humans fly'?

- What do sheep count when they can't get to sleep?

- Why can't pigs look up into the sky?

- Why do pigs have curly tails?

- Why do we call them guinea pigs when they are neither from Guinea nor are they pigs?

- Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

- Why is it that only pigs and humans can get sunburn?

- Why is it that the first thing we try to do after killing a pig is to cure it?

- Would a small pig be called a hamlet?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMCHEERS 3/8/2013 9:41PM

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GARDENCHRIS 3/8/2013 5:52AM

    okay!

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CAMSEDGE 3/6/2013 8:03PM

    emoticon

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63KEEPONGOING 3/6/2013 3:14PM

  So clever. Very enjoyable.

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CINDYSDAY 3/6/2013 12:08PM

    tooo funny!

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BECKYSRN 3/6/2013 9:30AM

    emoticon
Does the wolf in sheep's clothing buy it off the rack of lamb? Just wondering...
Thanks for sharing.

Comment edited on: 3/6/2013 9:31:05 AM

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MOONGLOWSNANA 3/6/2013 8:36AM

  Oink Oink! Baaa! emoticon

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DOVESEYES 3/6/2013 8:25AM

    That's the lamb and pork of it (long and short) ....hey I tried!!! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 3/6/2013 8:22AM

    Hmmm, Gayle, I'm seeing a "pig" theme this week:

Tuesday, March 05, 2013
"A farmer in Oregon was eaten by his pigs. The pigs ate the farmer. But in the overall race, humans are still way ahead." -Jay Leno

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SLACHETKA103145 3/6/2013 5:26AM

    Thank you emoticon emoticon emoticon but I liked the thoughts too!

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NANA2PRINCESSES 3/6/2013 5:14AM

    emoticon
Thanks for posting.

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LYNNWILK2 3/6/2013 5:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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COLLEENROSTE 3/6/2013 3:48AM

    emoticon so much to ponder, so much to learn

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DALID414 3/6/2013 2:04AM

    emoticon

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ALICIA214 3/6/2013 1:34AM

 


Deep thoughts indeed and worth pondering over.!!!

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EMERGENCY PREPAREDNESS

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

A government warning was recently issued that anyone traveling in icy or blizzard conditions should take:

- Shovel, blankets or sleeping bag
- Extra clothing including scarf, hat and gloves
- 24 hours supply of food and drink
- De-icer
- 5 lbs of rock salt
- flashlight with spare batteries
- Road flares and reflective triangles
- Tow rope
- 5 gallon gas can
- First aid kit
- Jump cables

I felt like a complete idiot on the bus this morning.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DS9KIE 3/8/2013 8:12PM

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NAYPOOIE 3/6/2013 1:00PM

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CINDYSDAY 3/5/2013 1:43PM

    lol

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DALID414 3/5/2013 11:01AM

    emoticon

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KJDINSC 3/5/2013 8:37AM

    So funny!

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GARDENCHRIS 3/5/2013 7:00AM

    I can see why! LOLOLOL

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EVER-HOPEFUL 3/5/2013 5:51AM

    well you would have to ride in the bus because by the time you packed all that for a family of 5 there would be no room left to sit in the car,lol

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DOVESEYES 3/5/2013 5:36AM

    emoticon emoticon

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HANDYV 3/5/2013 5:11AM

    emoticon Well when you drive yourself you will be ready.

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AZURELITE 3/5/2013 5:09AM

    emoticon

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ZRIE014 3/5/2013 12:46AM

  you need to be prepared

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LATE NIGHT FUNNIES

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

"A farmer in Oregon was eaten by his pigs. The pigs ate the farmer. But in the overall race, humans are still way ahead." -Jay Leno

***

"You know what Portland has lot of? Microbreweries. I think they are like regular breweries, but only serve midgets." -Craig Ferguson

***

"There's a new technique that lets doctors perform kidney transplants in 45 minutes. Because when you're getting a kidney transplant, your main concern is always, 'Can you do it in less than an hour?'" -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DALID414 3/5/2013 11:02AM

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WOUBBIE 3/5/2013 8:24AM

    @ZRIE014 That's a joke, right? Right?

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Or not?

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PANIK257 3/5/2013 3:40AM

    lol. I love the last one.

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ZRIE014 3/5/2013 12:50AM

  you better look out what they take

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This was passed on to me in an email

Sunday, March 03, 2013

I THINK SHE IS BIG TIME TICKED OFF!
I don't think TICKED OFF really covers it!!!!
 
Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming and co-chair of President Obama's deficit commission, calls senior citizens the "Greediest Generation" as he compared Social Security to a Milk Cow with 310 million teats.
Here's a response in a letter from Patty Myers, a career school teacher in Montana ... I think she is a little ticked off! She also tells it like it is!

"Hey Alan, let's get a few things straight!!!!!
by Patty Myers



1.   As a career politician, you have been on the public dole (tit) for FIFTY YEARS.
2.  I have been paying Social Security taxes for 48 YEARS (since I was 15 years old. I am now 63).
3.  My Social Security payments, and those of millions of other Americans, were safely tucked away in an interest bearing account for decades until you political pukes decided to raid the account and give OUR money to a bunch of zero losers in return for votes, thus bankrupting the system and turning Social Security into a Ponzi scheme that would make Bernie Madoff proud.
4.  Recently, just like Lucy & Charlie Brown, you and "your ilk" pulled the proverbial football away from millions of American seniors nearing retirement and moved the goalposts for full retirement from age 65 toage 67. NOW, you and your "shill commission" are proposing to move the goalposts YET AGAIN.
5.  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying into Medicare from Day One, and now "you morons" propose to change the rules of the game. Why? Because "you idiots" mismanaged other parts of the economy to such an extent that you need to steal our money from Medicare to pay the bills.
6.  I, and millions of other Americans, have been paying income taxes our entire lives, and now you propose to increase our taxes yet again.  Why? Because you "incompetent bastards" spent our money so profligately that you just kept on spending even after you ran out of money. Now, you come to the American taxpayers and say you need more to pay off YOUR debt.
 
To add insult to injury, you label us "greedy" for calling "bullcrap" to your incompetence. Well, Captain Bullcrap, I have a few questions for YOU:
1.  How much money have you earned from the American taxpayers during your pathetic 50-year political career?
2.  At what age did you retire from your pathetic political career, and how much are you receiving in annual retirement benefits from the American taxpayers?
3.  How much do you pay for YOUR government provided health insurance?
4.  What cuts in YOUR retirement and healthcare benefits are you proposing in your disgusting deficit reduction proposal, or as usual, have you exempted yourself and your political cronies?
It is you, Captain Bullcrap, and your political co-conspirators called Congress who are the "greedy" ones. It is you and your fellow nutcase thieves who have bankrupted America and stolen the American dream from millions of loyal, patriotic taxpayers.
And for what? Votes and your job and retirement security at our expense, you lunk-headed leech. That's right, sir. You and yours have bankrupted America for the sole purpose of advancing your pathetic, political careers. You know it, we know it, and you know that we know it.  And you can take that to the bank, you miserable ******.
NO, I did not stutter.
 
 
 P.S.  And stop calling Social Security benefits "entitlements" !!
WHAT AN INSULT!!!!
I have been paying in to the SS system for 45 years. It's my money; give it back to me the way the system was designed and stop patting yourself on the back like you are being generous to be doling out these monthly checks!!!
 
 

 

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLACHETKA103145 3/6/2013 5:28AM

    Thank you!!!!!!

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BAMAJAM 3/5/2013 4:35PM

  Thank you, Patty Myers!!! You make perfect sense --- and I am mad as HELL over the corruption of our "esteemed leaders"....There are MANY Captain Bullcraps..!!
With your wrath unleashed in this letter, you let the scoundrels know that Americans are not fooled by the greedy members of Congress who are the ones who have conspired to bankrupt our country. BTW, Patty Myers, your response to Alan Simpson---- earns a grade of A+ and a Gold Star! Thank you so much!

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CINDYSDAY 3/4/2013 11:56AM

    AMEN! I hope she send that to everyone of them and the local news agencies! Maybe even the Today show!

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ROSALIEESTHER 3/4/2013 6:28AM

    So cool!

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2ABBYNORMAL 3/4/2013 12:50AM

    I hope she sent this to Alan Simpson, Senator from Wyoming and co-chair of President Obama's deficit commission and all of the other senators. They deserve a good kick in the rump.
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NAYPOOIE 3/3/2013 6:51PM

    You tell 'em, Sister!

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GARDENCHRIS 3/3/2013 9:29AM

    right on ! these politicians work FOR US and sadly the majority of people do not care, or even realize this....... I could go on and on about this so I will stop now!

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IMREITE 3/3/2013 2:27AM

    i like it! i would like to read this and similar stuff to all politicians. they tell us we should except cuts, but yet they keep voting themselves raises and health benefits that are not available to anyone else.

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SUSANBEAMON 3/3/2013 2:12AM

  and she missed the biggest drinkers of governmental largess, the oil companies and the insurance companies. the benefits they get would just about eliminate the debt, with a little from the defence contractors added in.

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DOVESEYES 3/3/2013 1:46AM

    emoticon

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AZTLAN777 3/3/2013 1:36AM

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DALID414 3/3/2013 1:22AM

    emoticon WOW!

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EVIE4NOW 3/3/2013 12:22AM

  omg.. don't get me started... i would be here all night... but.. let's just say i and millions of others fully agree.

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Ten Reasons Why TV Is Better Than The World-Wide Web

Friday, March 01, 2013


1. It doesn't take minutes to build the picture when you change TV channels.

2. When was the last time you tuned in to "Friends" and got a "Not Found 404" message?

3. There are fewer grating color schemes on TV--even on MTV.

4. The family never argues over which Web site to visit this evening.

5. A remote control has fewer buttons than a keyboard.

6. Even the worst TV shows never excuse themselves with an "Under Construction" sign.

7. "CSI" never slows down when a lot of people tune in.

8. You just can't find those cool infomercials on the Web.

9. Set-top boxes don't beep and whine when you hook up to cable.

10. You can't surf the Web from a couch with a soda in one hand and chips in the other.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DOVESEYES 3/1/2013 10:06PM

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DALID414 3/1/2013 8:40PM

    TV it is! emoticon

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CAROLYNVIL 3/1/2013 3:13PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 3/1/2013 12:07PM

    Too true!

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CINDYSDAY 3/1/2013 10:00AM

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MSKRIS7 3/1/2013 8:46AM

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LYNMEINDERS 3/1/2013 2:41AM

    Love it....
I take it that your programs are not much better than the ones we have where I am.....lol
Have a great weekend

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