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New Years Resolutions You Can Keep -----------

Saturday, January 01, 2011

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

Gain weight. At least 30 pounds.

Stop exercising. Waste of time.

Read less. Makes you think.

Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff.

Procrastinate more. Starting tomorrow.

Spend more time at work, surfing with the T1.

Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more.

Get in a whole NEW rut!

Personal goal: bring back disco.

Buy an '83 Eldorado and invest in a really loud stereo system.

Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words.

Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt.

Get further in debt.

Break at least one traffic law.

Get wired with high-speed net connections at home.

Associate with even worse business clients.

Spread out priorities beyond my ability to keep track of them.

Wait around for opportunity.

Focus on the faults of others.

Mope about my faults.

Never make New Year's resolutions again.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLFIN3 1/1/2011 7:08PM

    Oh My Goodness!!! That is great!!!! Enjoy your evening and Sunday!!!! emoticon emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 1/1/2011 6:16AM

    Oh, boy! How many people will do these? I mean not as a resolution but because...

Thanks,

Ja
ne

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LINDYPAINTS 1/1/2011 5:14AM

    LOL cool Blog..,thanks... BTW- none of these are on my list... LOL emoticon

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DEVRIES51 1/1/2011 4:37AM

    I think I can and have accomplished most if not all of these! LOL! I Hope you have a great year and "NOT" accomplish any of these resolutions!

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Angels explained by children

Thursday, December 30, 2010

I only know the names of two angels, Hark and Harold. -Gregory, age 5

Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it. -Olive, age 9

It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to Heaven, and then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes.
-Matthew, age 9

Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else.
-Mitchell, age 7

My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science. -Henry, age 8

Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!! -Jack, age 6

Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead. Daniel, age 9

When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath again, somewhere there's a tornado. -Reagan, age 10

Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go south for the winter. -Sara, age 6

Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter.
-Jared, age 8

All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it. -Antonio, age 9

My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth. -Ashley ~ age 9

Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it. -Vicki, age 8

What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them.
-Sarah, age 7


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 1/1/2011 7:46AM

    Cute!

Jane

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ALICERIEGER 12/31/2010 3:21PM

    There is nothing more refreshing than children's insight. Thank you for sharing.

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GRANDMA624 12/31/2010 8:48AM

  So precious, Thank you!

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SUGARPUNK52 12/31/2010 1:16AM

  Thank you for the laughter! So cute.

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CAROLYNVIL 12/30/2010 11:39PM

    How cute!

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ELLFIN3 12/30/2010 8:31PM

    emoticon Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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LADYLEE13 12/30/2010 1:02PM

    Adorable,

I liked the one about the Holy Cows, made me laugh.

Some children are so innocent
Thank you for this Blog
Hugs Lee
emoticon

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2BEATIT1 12/30/2010 12:42PM

    What a cute blog.
Thanks for sharing.
Blessings
Jean

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JUNEBUG150 12/30/2010 10:12AM

    Very cute! It brought a smile and some chuckles to start my day! emoticon emoticon

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TEDDYTEDDY 12/30/2010 10:12AM

    Thanks...those kids are so smart!!! emoticon

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FLYER99 12/30/2010 10:07AM

    Good morning! This was cute and very funny. A great post to start off my day. Thanks!

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Roasted Vegetables

Saturday, December 25, 2010

I made roasted vegetables for the first time today!

Cut up veggies in 1" pieces: zucchini, green bell pepper, mushrooms, red onion, and broccoli, cauliflower and baby carrots from a bag. Tossed with ground garlic, 2 Tbs evoo, and a couple of shakes of Italian dressing. Spread out on a jelly roll pan and baked at 450 degrees for 20 min. The veggies could be anything you have. Hubby raved about it. He's never eaten them roasted! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUNSHINE65 9/5/2011 6:17PM

    I gotta make this again!

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TEDDYTEDDY 12/30/2010 10:14AM

    I gotta try this today...sounds yummy.... emoticon

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HERE2BTHIN 12/26/2010 4:10AM

  I Lubs Veggies Sauteed Myself. Hubby will only eat Veggies to Be Nice. But HEY!!!! @ least he gets them into his diet. emoticon

Karrie
emoticon

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JOANNS4 12/25/2010 4:13PM

    I really like the roasted vegetables.
emoticon

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GGMFAY 12/25/2010 11:26AM

    Good idea for me to save the cauliflower and pepper I have in my frig.
Fay

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ELLFIN3 12/25/2010 11:10AM

    Sounds great! I like roasted veggies!!! Merry Christmas!!! emoticon

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41SUSAN14 12/25/2010 9:49AM

    I LOVE Roasted Veggies!

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SUNRISE14 12/25/2010 7:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 12/25/2010 7:30AM

    Sounds delicious! Good for you!

Jane on Guam

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GARDENCHRIS 12/25/2010 6:58AM

    sounds good! emoticon

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THROOPER62 12/25/2010 6:14AM

    Sounds delicious emoticon emoticon

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GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN

Thursday, December 23, 2010

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning

Your wife: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

You: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

Your wife: (peering into the trash bag) It's a leaf blower.

You: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

Your wife: I want a divorce.

You: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 12/23/2010 3:35PM

  emoticon emoticon
Merry christmas

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41SUSAN14 12/23/2010 12:52PM

    Hee hee hee!

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41SUSAN14 12/23/2010 12:52PM

    Hee hee hee!

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IMREITE 12/23/2010 12:49AM

    my dad always asks me to wrap presents for him when i visit around holidays or birthdays. if i am not there, my youngest sister does it. i teased him that he was going to be stuck after she graduates.

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DWILCZKO 12/23/2010 12:36AM

  funny!

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What Movies Have Taught Us

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.

3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.

4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.

5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.

6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.

8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.

10) The entire British population lives in London.

11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly.

12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances.

13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 12/23/2010 12:53AM

    sometimes i would like to take a break from life and be in a movie scene.

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GRANPATTIE 12/22/2010 11:56PM

    This was fun.

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