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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

A Deep Rooted Delusion

Thursday, February 07, 2013

Perhaps you've heard of the man who thought he was dead? In reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince the man he was still alive.

Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show the patient that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, the patient seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.

"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I do," the patient replied.

"Very well, then," the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"

"Oh my goodness!" the patient exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVER-HOPEFUL 2/7/2013 3:19AM

    talk about the walking dead emoticon

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SUSANBEAMON 2/7/2013 1:12AM

  there are days i feel that way too.

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Typing Test

Wednesday, February 06, 2013

A soldier was asked to report to headquarters for assignment. The sergeant said: "We have a critical shortage of typists. I'll give you a little test. Type this," he ordered, giving him a pamphlet to copy and a sheet of paper, and pointing to a desk across the room that held a typewriter and an adding machine.

The man, quite reluctant to become a clerk typist, made a point of typing very slowly, and saw to it that his work contained as many errors as possible.

The sergeant gave the typed copy only a brief glance.

"That's fine," he said; "Report for work at 8 tomorrow."

"But aren't you going to check the test?" the prospective clerk asked.

The sergeant grinned. "You passed the test," he replied, "when you sat down at the typewriter instead of at the adding machine."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITANDFIFTY2 2/10/2013 2:19AM

    emoticon

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GARDENCHRIS 2/7/2013 7:13AM

    emoticon

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TOTHEFUTURE1 2/7/2013 4:12AM

    Love it

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DALID414 2/7/2013 12:44AM

    emoticon

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DOVESEYES 2/7/2013 12:04AM

    lol

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UMBILICAL 2/6/2013 11:42PM

  Great one.

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IAMNOT61 2/6/2013 11:39PM

    That's funny!

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Bumper Sticker Funnies

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

- Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.

- History does not repeat itself, historians merely repeat each other.

- It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

- It works better if you plug it in.

- It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

- Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

- Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

- Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 2/6/2013 9:51AM

    Herblock's Law: If it's good, they will stop making it.

I love that. I can't tell you how many times I go back to a store looking for something I love and use, to find that it's been "discontinued" or "no longer carried". This happens to me on everything from breakfast cereals to bras.

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DOVESEYES 2/5/2013 11:22PM

    lol

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KARRENLYNN 2/5/2013 10:15PM

    Perception is everything! LOL
Thanks for the smiles in my day!

Karen emoticon

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DALID414 2/5/2013 9:58PM

    I saw this one today: Organization is for people too lazy to look for their own "stuff". (It had another word for stuff.)
emoticon

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DEBRA123FORME 2/5/2013 8:48PM

  TRUE!! LOL!

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New Car

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

A wealthy stockbroker finally bought his dream car, a late model Porsche, $50,000 right off the lot. As he was driving home he decided to listen to the new stereo but despite everything he couldn't get it to turn on. He drove back to the dealer in a rage and shouted "For $50,000 I expect a radio that works at least."

The dealer tried to calm him. "Sir," he said, "This car's radio system has been sensitized to your voice. All you have to do is say what it is you want to hear and it finds it and plays it."

"Wow," said the car owner," That's fantastic".

As he drove home this time he said, "Beethoven" and Beethoven's 5th begins to play through the quad speakers. He's blown away. "DeBussy" he cries and "Clair De Lune" wafts through the speakers.

Just then a taxi driver cuts him off and before he can stop himself he yells "Moron!!!!!"

The radio switchs on the Rush Limbaugh Show.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 2/5/2013 8:14PM

    That's pretty good!

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MRE1956 2/5/2013 2:24PM

    ROTFLMBO! (Spouse wouldn't find it so cool, though......snicker, snicker!)

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3016DEBRA 2/5/2013 11:36AM

  That truly is a SMART CAR!!!! emoticon

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CINDYSDAY 2/5/2013 11:02AM

    emoticon

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RUSSELL_40 2/5/2013 6:27AM

    LMAO.

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NYARAMULA 2/5/2013 3:03AM

    emoticon

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JTREMBATH 2/5/2013 1:14AM

    emoticon emoticon

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FITANDFIFTY2 2/5/2013 12:45AM

    Lol! emoticon

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DALID414 2/5/2013 12:31AM

    emoticon that's one smart car!

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DOVESEYES 2/5/2013 12:12AM

    ha ha lol

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Still More Late Night Funnies

Tuesday, February 05, 2013

Late Night Funny #1

House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama’s focus is to annihilate the Republican Party. Do Republicans look like they need any help from President Obama? They’re doing a hell of a job themselves. -Jay Leno


Late Night Funny #2

The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. Yeah, the hope is that we can now finally defeat the Taliban by giving them the silent treatment. -Conan O'Brien


Late Night Funny #3

A scary moment at John Kerry’s secretary of state confirmation hearing. One of the senators had taken his Ambien the night before and combined with the stuffy room and Kerry’s boring speech, he slipped into a coma. -Jay Leno


Late Night Funny #4

North Korea said it will test a rocket that they hope will hit the United States. In other words, watch your back, middle of the Pacific Ocean. -Conan O'Brien

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ELLENIRENE 2/5/2013 6:40AM

    emoticon

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FITANDFIFTY2 2/5/2013 12:45AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 2/5/2013 12:29AM

    emoticon

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ALICIA214 2/5/2013 12:19AM

 



Bless the late night show hosts and the gov't for providing our daily giggles....


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