SUNSHINE65   56,266
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Send this on to your gay relatives and friends...

Saturday, February 02, 2013

In her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination ... End of debate.


I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.


1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of Menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I'm confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.



James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum, Instruction, and Special Education
University of Virginia

It would be a darn shame if we couldn't own a Canadian :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 2/3/2013 7:39PM

    Great blog!

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LITTLE_QUEEN 2/3/2013 12:58PM

    emoticon

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2BDYNAMIC 2/3/2013 11:32AM

    I think this is why the NEW Testament is preferred reading ............... (I can't imagine living in the past of the Old) ...............

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NAYPOOIE 2/3/2013 1:23AM

    That was absolutely great!

Regrettably, I have no idea which of my friends and relatives are gay, guess I'll have to send it to all of them.

Comment edited on: 2/3/2013 1:24:37 AM

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LADYIRISH317 2/2/2013 8:39PM

    Fantastic!

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DALID414 2/2/2013 6:39PM

    Love this!!

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ALICIAYOUNG1127 2/2/2013 6:13PM

    perfect!

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HELEN_BRU 2/2/2013 5:06PM

    Loved it! emoticon

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Perfect!!! Thanks, Ma!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

2ABBYNORMAL 2/2/2013 12:06AM

    Sounds great to me!
emoticon

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CMRAND54 2/1/2013 10:04PM

    Cute!

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NAYPOOIE 2/1/2013 10:50AM

    Makes sense to me!

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GARDENCHRIS 2/1/2013 7:14AM

    emoticon

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CINDYSDAY 2/1/2013 7:10AM

    Nice!

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KJDINSC 2/1/2013 5:24AM

    Good one!

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DALID414 1/31/2013 10:43PM

    That's brilliant!!

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EVASTANKIEWICZ 1/31/2013 10:35PM

    emoticon

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DOVESEYES 1/31/2013 10:33PM

    lol

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Funnies...late nite and other...

Thursday, January 31, 2013

"A recent article says yoga-related injuries are on the rise. It's not surprising that yoga fans are upset with this article. After all, it's easy for them to get bent out of shape." -Craig Ferguson

"A man named Peter Robbins, a 56-year-old guy, was the voice of Charlie Brown on TV. He was arrested for stalking. Apparently, Charlie Brown did not have the money to post bail. You know why? He's working for peanuts." -Jay Leno

"New York City is always striving to improve the quality of life here. Now they're taking down all of the street signs on poles in the city because of clutter. Radioactive steam not a problem. City buses disappearing into potholes not a problem. Meat vendors selling squirrel not a problem." -Dave Letterman

I arrived home to find the place ransacked. Fortunately, my niece and her husband, PJ, were with me. Grabbing a golf club out of the trunk, PJ searched the house to make sure the robber was gone. Then he looked at the club a three iron. "I should have taken the wedge," he said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Lately I've been having trouble hitting anything with my three."


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*

A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said.

"I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places, poop on your shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot. Just as realistic and easily controlled."

"I'm not sure a stuffed parrot would be okay," said the customer. "I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible."

"I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said the pet shop owner. "I have one at home. I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday you can have it."

"Sorry," said the customer, "I can't make it on Thursday. That's the day I'm having my leg cut off."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KARRENLYNN 1/31/2013 11:30PM

    Thanks for the smiles!

Karen emoticon

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DOVESEYES 1/31/2013 10:34PM

    lol

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ELSCO55 1/31/2013 10:27PM

    cute

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CMRAND54 1/31/2013 9:57PM

    Pretty good!

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DALID414 1/31/2013 9:25PM

    emoticon

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Teachers & Cops

Thursday, January 31, 2013

These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded (but, are these funny!)

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.ra
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot. (my favorite...)
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers. The comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

1. "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
2. "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
3. "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
4. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
5. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
6. "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
7. "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
8. "Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
9. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
10. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
11. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
12. "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC." ( National Crime Information Center )
13. "Just how big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
14. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."
15. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
16. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.. Sign here."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 2/1/2013 10:58AM

    that last one was mean.

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GARDENCHRIS 2/1/2013 7:16AM

    emoticon

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BLITZEN40 1/31/2013 11:31PM

    "Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven" LOL Thanks for the giggle!

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DALID414 1/31/2013 9:29PM

    emoticon Love it!

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The ultimate prank!

Thursday, January 31, 2013

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 1/31/2013 6:05PM

    emoticon

So true!

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DALID414 1/31/2013 1:45PM

    emoticon

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3016DEBRA 1/31/2013 1:32PM

  HA HA HA! I'd love to see that!!! emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 1/31/2013 12:01PM

    LOL

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EVER-HOPEFUL 1/31/2013 9:41AM

    emoticon guess that means fox news is against obahma.we have no fox news here

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JOHNMARTINMILES 1/31/2013 9:39AM

    LOL



Keep on Keepin' on!

Make Today a Great Day!

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