SUNSHINE65   61,042
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GIFT-WRAPPING TIPS FOR MEN

Thursday, December 23, 2010

* Whenever possible, buy gifts that are already wrapped. If, when the recipient opens the gift, neither one of you recognizes it, you can claim that it's myrrh.

* The editors of Woman's Day magazine recently ran an item on how to make your own wrapping paper by printing a design on it with an apple sliced in half horizontally and dipped in a mixture of food coloring and liquid starch. They must be smoking crack.

* If you're giving a hard-to-wrap gift, skip the wrapping paper! Just put it inside a bag and stick one of those little adhesive bows on it. This creates a festive visual effect that is sure to delight the lucky recipient on Christmas morning

Your wife: Why is there a Hefty trash bag under the tree?

You: It's a gift! See? It has a bow!

Your wife: (peering into the trash bag) It's a leaf blower.

You: Gas-powered! Five horsepower!

Your wife: I want a divorce.

You: I also got you some myrrh.

In conclusion, remember that the important thing is not what you give, or how you wrap it. The important thing, during this very special time of year, is that you save the receipt.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 12/23/2010 3:35PM

  emoticon emoticon
Merry christmas

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41SUSAN14 12/23/2010 12:52PM

    Hee hee hee!

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41SUSAN14 12/23/2010 12:52PM

    Hee hee hee!

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IMREITE 12/23/2010 12:49AM

    my dad always asks me to wrap presents for him when i visit around holidays or birthdays. if i am not there, my youngest sister does it. i teased him that he was going to be stuck after she graduates.

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DWILCZKO 12/23/2010 12:36AM

  funny!

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What Movies Have Taught Us

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

1) All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices, which have large red read-outs to tell you exactly when it will go off.

2) Should you need to pass yourself off as a German officer it will not be necessary to speak the language, a convincing accent will do.

3) All apartments in Paris overlook the Eiffel tower.

4) Most lap top computers are powerful enough to override a bank security system or the communication system of an invading alien civilization.

5) Every single person in martial arts Film has a black belt in karate.

6) When staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

7) 1 man shooting at 20 men has more chance of hitting them than 20 men shooting at 1 man if he is the hero.

8) During a police investigation it will be necessary to visit a strip joint at least once.

9) Large studio-type apartments in big cities are affordable by single people with a low wage.

10) The entire British population lives in London.

11) It doesn't matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a martial arts fight; your enemies will attack you one at a time while the others dance around you menacingly.

12) In musicals everyone you meet in the street will know all the words to the songs and the steps to the dances.

13) When captured by an evil international terrorist, guns are not necessary to defeat them, sarcasm and wisecracks are your best weapons.



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMREITE 12/23/2010 12:53AM

    sometimes i would like to take a break from life and be in a movie scene.

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GRANPATTIE 12/22/2010 11:56PM

    This was fun.

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Christmas Can-Can

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Hi!

Enjoy this link and try to put it on full screen..........

link.brightcove.com/services/player/
bcpid1909243034?bctid=53156488001


Love,
Gayle

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 12/23/2010 7:02AM

    Wild! Crazy! Oh, boy!

Jane on Guam

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ELLFIN3 12/18/2010 8:25PM

  Thanks for sharing!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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You Might Be a Yankee If...

Friday, December 17, 2010

1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

2) You think Heinz Ketchup is SPICY!

3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce" correctly.

4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to grits.

5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

6) You've never had grain alcohol.

7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra.

8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.

10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

11) Whenever someone tells an off*color joke about farm animals, it goes over your head.

12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.

13) You don't have bangs.

14) You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.

15) More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.

16) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.

17) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

18) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

19) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-knife show.

20) You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.

21) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house.

22) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an on-ramp on the highway.

23) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.

24) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.

25) You call binoculars opera glasses.

26) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.

27) You would never wear pink or an appliqued sweatshirt.

28) You don't know what appliqued is.

29) Most of your formative high school experiences took place within the context of a football game.

30) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob, Billy Bob, Bubba Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

31) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.

32) You've never been to a craft show.

33) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.

34) You can't do your laundry without quarters.

35) None of your fur coats are homemade.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 12/23/2010 5:05AM

    Love it! What a riot!

Jane on Guam

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ALICERIEGER 12/19/2010 11:56PM

    How true! I think I'm a mix.

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2BEATIT1 12/18/2010 10:04AM

    Real cute blog. Thanks for sharing.

I may not be a Yankee but as a Canadian I DO NOT LIKE grits. lol

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41SUSAN14 12/18/2010 12:25AM

    Laughing so very hard! That's me! (except the Prep Schools, and Perfume counter...) But, I thought two or more people was All Y'all?

:-)

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DIANE7786 12/17/2010 11:59PM

    Cute--from a Yankee!

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What I don't do...

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

1. I don't do windows because ... I love birds and don't want one to run into a clean window and get hurt.

2. I don't wax floors because ... I am terrified a guest will slip, hurt themselves. I'll feel terrible and they may sue me.

3. I don't mind the dust bunnies because .... they are very good company. I have named most of them, and they agree with everything I say.

4. I don't disturb cobwebs because I want every creature to have a home of their own and hubby loves spiders.

5. I don't Spring Clean because ... I love all the seasons and don't want the others to get jealous.

6. I don't plant a garden because ... I don't want to get in God's way. He is an excellent designer.

7. I don't put things away because ... my husband will never be able to find them again.

8. I don't do gourmet meals when I entertain because ... I don't want my guests to stress out over what to make when they invite me over for dinner.

9. I don't iron because ... I choose to believe them when they say "Permanent Press".

10. I don't stress much on anything because ...

"A Type" personalities die young and I want to stick around and become a wrinkled up crusty ol' woman!!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 12/15/2010 7:29AM

    Chuckle!

Jane on Guam

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TUTUNAN 12/15/2010 1:08AM

    This is a winner!!!

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GRAMMAP1 12/14/2010 9:57PM

    My sentiments..exactly. Thanks for the post! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ELLFIN3 12/14/2010 8:35PM

  LOL!!!!!!! I agree with you!!! Thanks for sharing!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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2BEATIT1 12/14/2010 7:12PM

    YOU MADE MY DAY!
I just had to pass this on to my A Type friend.

Thanks for the good laugh. emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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41SUSAN14 12/14/2010 12:07PM

    Very cool!

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