Monday, December 03, 2012
For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.
One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.
The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, "Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?"
Tommy burst into tears and confessed, "I think Mommy ate it!"
Sunday, December 02, 2012
"A man who calls her baby"
I've been seeing this idea making the rounds on FB.
"Every woman deserves a man who calls her baby, kisses her like he means it, holds her like he never wants to let her go, doesn't cheat or lie, wipes her tears when she cries, doesn't make her jealous of other women, instead makes other women jealous of her, is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really loves her. Re-post if you agree."
I ignore the postings, because my first reaction, to the first requirement of what a woman "deserves" is revulsion.
I agree with the remaining 90% of the quote - aside from the run-on nature of the sentence itself.
However, I have never wanted, nor would I ever accept a man who called me "Baby." I'm no one's baby but my mom and dad's. When a man calls a woman "Baby" I always get this creepy feeling like he's asserting his rights over her as a person. He is the adult, she is the child and he will take care of her.
Not for me. Thank you.
I think a woman deserves a lot more than to be someone's "Baby." I think every woman deserves a man who knows how strong she can be, and isn't afraid to share his own vulnerabilities with her.
"Every woman deserves a man who knows she is equal to him, kisses her like he means it, holds her like he never wants to let her go, doesn't cheat or lie, wipes her tears when she cries, doesn't hide his tears from her, doesn't worry about jealousy, is not scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really loves her. Re-post if you agree."
Sunday, December 02, 2012
Checking out at the store, the young cashier suggested to the older woman, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, "We didn't have this green thing back in my day".
The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations." She was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing.
Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled. But we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Grocery stores bagged our groceries in brown paper bags, that we reused for numerous things, most memorable besides household garbage bags, was the use of brown paper bags as book covers for our school books. This was to ensure that public property, (the books provided for our use by the school) was not defaced by our scribblings. Then we were able to personalize our books. But too bad we didn't do the green thing back then.
We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right: we didn't have the green thing in our day.
Back then,we washed the baby's diapers because we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right: we didn't have the green thing back in our day.
Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house -- not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana .. In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap. Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she's right: we didn't have the green thing back then.
We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn't have the green thing back then.
Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their moms into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn't need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest burger joint.
But isn't it sad the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn't have the green thing back then?
You can send this on to another selfish old person who needs a lesson in conservation from smartass young people.
We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.
Saturday, December 01, 2012
10. You keep wondering when they'll come out with a new flavor of Windex
9. Invested all of your money in wrestling magazines
8. Exonerated of double murder charges but convicted of stealing your sports memorabilia
7. You believe Mitt Romney actually shops at Costco
6. 8PM - swallowed a golf ball, 9PM - emergency room, 10PM - swallowed golf ball
5. As a child, your first word was, 'Huh?'
4. You've lost six cars forgetting where you parked
3. You think the government can cut taxes for the rich and balance the budget
2. You risk job at Credit Suisse to attend lame talk show
1. You're not even the smartest Kardashian
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