SUNSHINE65   55,404
SparkPoints
50,000-59,999 SparkPoints
 
 
SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

Late Night Jokes for November 16

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Late Night Funny #1

Mitt Romney arrived at his victory celebration in a 15-car Secret Service caravan. Of course, when you lose, the Secret Service dumps you immediately. So he had to hitch a ride home with his son. So there he is arriving in the 15-car motorcade and then he goes home in the back seat – Tagg driving, Ann riding shotgun, dog on the roof. -Bill Maher


Late Night Funny #2

I heard an update from Con Edison, the electricity company. They said the Republicans now will be without power for the next four years. -David Letterman


Late Night Funny #3

Mitt Romney’s family has been trying to console him since Tuesday’s loss. In fact, this morning they took him to Ikea just so he could feel what it’s like to put together a cabinet. -Jay Leno


Late Night Funny #4

There’s also a rumor that Romney will write a tell-all book based on the diary he kept on the campaign trail. That’s in case you ever wondered what Ambien looks like in book form. -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 11/17/2012 9:04PM

    Love it - especially the Ikea joke.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BARCLE 11/17/2012 4:00PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 11/17/2012 1:51PM

    Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
3016DEBRA 11/17/2012 12:17PM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
HELEN_BRU 11/17/2012 9:05AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TCANNO 11/17/2012 3:29AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Late Night Funnies 11/15/12

Friday, November 16, 2012

Late Night Funny #1

Mitt Romney arrived at his victory celebration in a 15-car Secret Service caravan. Of course, when you lose, the Secret Service dumps you immediately. So he had to hitch a ride home with his son. So there he is arriving in the 15-car motorcade and then he goes home in the back seat – Tagg driving, Ann riding shotgun, dog on the roof. -Bill Maher


Late Night Funny #2

I heard an update from Con Edison, the electricity company. They said the Republicans now will be without power for the next four years. -David Letterman


Late Night Funny #3

Mitt Romney’s family has been trying to console him since Tuesday’s loss. In fact, this morning they took him to Ikea just so he could feel what it’s like to put together a cabinet. -Jay Leno


Late Night Funny #4

There’s also a rumor that Romney will write a tell-all book based on the diary he kept on the campaign trail. That’s in case you ever wondered what Ambien looks like in book form. -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUSANBEAMON 11/17/2012 3:00AM

  just glad the joke did not get elected.

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/16/2012 9:58PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMALIA8 11/16/2012 9:57PM

    Nice. I am sorry but I do like making fun of Romney. He's just such an easy target. Keep up the great work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DIBANANA 11/16/2012 9:51PM

  Very cute and a bit of truth!

Report Inappropriate Comment


YOUR LATE NIGHT FUNNIES FIX

Friday, November 16, 2012

"Today was the release of 'Call of Duty: Black Ops 2.' I saw people camped out last night waiting for it. I thought it was some kind of Occupy Toys "R" Us." -Craig Ferguson



"The Oxford English Dictionary revealed that its word of the year is GIF ˜ the format for animated files. People who use dictionaries were like, 'What's a GIF?' And then people who use GIFs were like, 'What's a dictionary?'" -Jimmy Fallon



"At a gas station in Texas, a woman purchased what she thought was a $200 iPad that turned out to be just a mirror. Let that be a lesson. Make sure you buy your iPad from a REPUTABLE gas station." -Conan O'Brian

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BARCLE 11/16/2012 5:58PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSDAISY23 11/16/2012 3:09PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 11/16/2012 10:50AM

    Once again, Thanks!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMALIA8 11/16/2012 7:43AM

    LOL. Awesome! I'd actually seen part of the episode where Conan said that line. It was hilarious. Keep up the great work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DONNABRIGHT 11/16/2012 7:35AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ATLTRAINR 11/16/2012 7:21AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
GARDENCHRIS 11/16/2012 7:19AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANBEAMON 11/16/2012 3:45AM

  people are funny.

Report Inappropriate Comment
COCK-ROBIN 11/16/2012 2:07AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MR.NET1 11/16/2012 1:34AM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Head Scratchers...

Friday, November 16, 2012

Ponder these...

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

If you can't drink and drive, why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor, and why do bars have parking lots?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

If a cow laughed real hard, would milk come out her nose?

If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

You know how most packages say "Open here." What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRFUZZ 11/16/2012 8:53PM

    The Braille dots on the drive up ATM...that's the one that really gets me sayin, huh?

Report Inappropriate Comment
CMRAND54 11/16/2012 3:35PM

    Fun!

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/16/2012 1:02PM

    Too much to ponder, I have a headache now! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALICERIEGER 11/16/2012 10:53AM

    Certainly makes one think

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOODLANDMYST 11/16/2012 8:19AM

  emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMALIA8 11/16/2012 7:42AM

    Very interesting thoughts to ponder. Love it. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TWEETYKC00 11/16/2012 4:31AM

    good thoughts

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALIHIKES 11/16/2012 1:23AM

    Very funny! LOL

Report Inappropriate Comment
FITANDFIFTY2 11/16/2012 1:01AM

    Oh for sure! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MRSBOBBY2012 11/16/2012 1:01AM

    ha

Report Inappropriate Comment
CHIBIKARATE 11/16/2012 12:54AM

    cute emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


English Lecture

Friday, November 16, 2012

A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 11/17/2012 1:53PM

    Thanks

Report Inappropriate Comment
DALID414 11/16/2012 12:59PM

    emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
NAYPOOIE 11/16/2012 12:53PM

    yep

Report Inappropriate Comment
WOUBBIE 11/16/2012 8:21AM

    LOL!

Report Inappropriate Comment
AMALIA8 11/16/2012 7:40AM

    LOL. So true. It is dependent on tone of voice but still double positive meaning a negative. Thanks for sharing!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SUSANBEAMON 11/16/2012 3:47AM

  but you have to use the right tone.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUNA_81 11/16/2012 3:43AM

  In Japanese a single negative is negative, a double negative is positive, and a triple negative is negative. It's just like math, but it can get confusing keeping track of all those negatives.

Report Inappropriate Comment


First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 Last Page