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God the Parent

Monday, November 05, 2012

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to God's kids.

After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam asked.

"Don't eat the Forbidden Fruit." God replied.

"Forbidden fruit? We got Forbidden Fruit? Hey, Eve..we got Forbidden Fruit!"

"No way!"

"Where?"

"Don't eat that fruit!" said God.

"Why?"

"Because I am your Creator and I said so!" said God, wondering why he hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the 'First Parent' asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Eve answered.

"She started it!" Adam said.

"Did not!"

"DID so!"

"DID NOT!"

Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own...thus the pattern was set, and it has never changed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 11/6/2012 6:57PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 11/5/2012 9:43PM

    Thanks

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CMRAND54 11/5/2012 5:33PM

    I love it! So true.

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GLC2009 11/5/2012 3:34PM

    emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 11/5/2012 2:39PM

    the parents' curse - May you have children just like you were.

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TONYTHETSANGEL 11/5/2012 1:31PM

    emoticon

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DALID414 11/5/2012 1:13PM

    No wonder! emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 11/5/2012 10:27AM

    emoticon

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AMARILYNH 11/5/2012 10:21AM

    LOL - there is a lot of truth here!!

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WOUBBIE 11/5/2012 10:17AM

    XD

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AMALIA8 11/5/2012 10:00AM

    Awesome! That makes so much more sense than the way the Bible tells it. Why do we always assume that Adam and Eve were perfectly reasonable adults right after being born? They probably were annoying teenagers. Keep on sharing and have an awesome day!

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Lie detector

Sunday, November 04, 2012

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that day.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch ?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn't even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well he certainly is your son ."
The robot slaps the mother.
End of Story

P.S. Robot For Sale

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COACHPENNY 11/6/2012 9:34PM

    OUCH!!!

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MISSDAISY23 11/5/2012 10:28AM

    emoticon

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123ELAINE456 11/5/2012 3:33AM

  Awesome!!! Laughing about Robot. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care.

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AMALIA8 11/4/2012 11:36PM

    LOL. Nice. Keep them coming. I love reading them. Keep up the amazing work as well!

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HELEN_BRU 11/4/2012 7:57PM

    Good one!

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HENNYGIRL_2001 11/4/2012 7:55PM

    LOL I love it! I needed that chuckle!

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WOUBBIE 11/4/2012 7:24PM

    Good one!!

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TONYTHETSANGEL 11/4/2012 6:50PM

    LOL, needed that!! emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 11/4/2012 6:43PM

    emoticon I just LOVE this!

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MICKEYMAX 11/4/2012 6:37PM

    LOL

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DEEJON123 11/4/2012 5:57PM

    Very cute .... if only the Robot had gone up for sale when my daughters were teenagers, unfortunately it's too late now!

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ALICERIEGER 11/4/2012 5:37PM

    oops!

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GINNABOOTS 11/4/2012 5:32PM

    emoticon

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DALID414 11/4/2012 5:12PM

    emoticon

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GIVENTHANKS 11/4/2012 5:07PM

    emoticon Cute! emoticon for sharing!

Pat

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LUDGEUBOOHOO 11/4/2012 5:01PM

    where can I buy one of these...LOL LOL


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Two caterpillars

Sunday, November 04, 2012

Two caterpillars are sitting on a leaf when a butterfly zooms by, startling them.

One turns to the other and says, "Boy, you'll never get ME up in one of those things."

emoticon

  
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NEWKATHYNOW 11/6/2012 6:55PM

    emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 11/5/2012 10:29AM

    emoticon

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SKEPCHICK 11/5/2012 1:53AM

  Heh heh

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SHARON10002 11/4/2012 9:00PM

    emoticon Good one!

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AQUAGIRL08 11/4/2012 5:34PM

    emoticon

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MACMOM57 11/4/2012 4:52PM

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Army Brat vs. Navy Brat

Sunday, November 04, 2012



An Army brat was boasting about his father to a Navy brat.

"My dad is an engineer. He can do everything. Do you know the Alps?"

"Yes," said the Navy brat.

"My dad has built them."

Then the naval kid spoke: "And do you know the Dead Sea?"

"Yes."

"It's my dad who's killed it!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 11/6/2012 6:58PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 11/4/2012 5:38PM

    good one

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DALID414 11/4/2012 5:10PM

    emoticon

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Late Night Funny #?

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

"The European Farmer's Union has announced that because of cold temperatures and drought, grapes aren't growing well and as a result this will be their worst wine harvest in 50 years. Experts are hoping it won't affect prices or threaten the supply of wine, and if it does they might have to start drilling for wine offshore." -Jimmy Kimmel

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEWKATHYNOW 11/4/2012 12:34AM

    emoticon

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BRIDIE5 11/2/2012 7:48PM

  Drink domestic..made i n america!

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ALICERIEGER 11/1/2012 1:49PM

    Thanks for sharing

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123ELAINE456 10/31/2012 4:47PM

  Cute. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care.

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AMALIA8 10/31/2012 2:02PM

    emoticon Nice. Thanks for sharing as usual! Keep up the amazing work!

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NAYPOOIE 10/31/2012 12:05PM

    Love Jimmy

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SKEPCHICK 10/31/2012 11:00AM

  Heh heh

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HELEN_BRU 10/31/2012 10:19AM

    emoticon

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PJBONARRIGO 10/31/2012 9:50AM

    LOL It could be a disaster, but I will stop wineing now :-)
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KKKAREN 10/31/2012 9:49AM

    cute!

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ROX525 10/31/2012 9:48AM

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