SUNSHINE65   67,256
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

12 Reasons to be Thankful you Burnt the Bird!

Monday, November 22, 2010

Salmonella won't be a concern.

Everyone will think your turkey is Cajun blackened.

Uninvited guests will think twice next year.

Your cheese broccoli lima bean casserole will gain newfound appreciation.

Pets won't bother to pester you for scraps.

No one will overeat.

The smoke alarm was due for a test.

Carving the bird will provide a good cardiovascular workout.

You'll get to the desserts even quicker.

After dinner, the guys can take the bird to the yard and play football.

The less turkey Uncle You-Know-Who eats, the less likely he will be to walk around with his pants unbuttoned.

You won't have to face three weeks of turkey sandwiches.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 11/23/2010 1:40AM

    But I like turkey sandwiches!

Love your humor.

Jane on Guam

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RANDOM00B 11/22/2010 3:59PM

    I love it--thanks for the laugh!

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ELLFIN3 11/22/2010 11:48AM

    Thanks! I needed a laugh!!! Enjoy your Monday!!!!!!!!! emoticon emoticon

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GGMFAY 11/22/2010 9:03AM

    This is one I'll share via emails. emoticon Fay

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AZURELITE 11/22/2010 8:04AM

    Hilarious! Nice to laugh so early on a Monday!

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PANIK257 11/22/2010 12:30AM

    Cholesterol won't be a concern

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ELSCO55 11/22/2010 12:20AM

    emoticon LOL

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Turkey Survival

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop,
My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
And he told me there was something that I had to know;

His look and his tone I will always remember,
When he told me of the horrors of ..... Black November;
"Come about August, now listen to me,

Each day you'll be thick, where once you were thin,
And you'll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin.
"And then one morning, when you're warm in your bed,
In'll burst the farmer's wife, and hack off your head;

"Then she'll pluck out all your feathers so you're bald'n pink,
And scoop out all your insides and leave ya lyin' in the sink,
"And then comes the worst part" he said not bluffing,
"She'll spread your cheeks and pack your rear with stuffing".

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
I sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
And decided on the spot that to avoid being cooked,
I'd have to lay low and remain overlooked;

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
High-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,
And as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
I stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes,

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
And tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed;
But 'twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
As they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death;

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
I was the last turkey left in the entire compound;
So now I'm a pet in the farmer's wife's lap;
I haven't a worry, so I eat and I nap,

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
And smiled at me and said "Christmas is coming........"

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 11/21/2010 6:48AM

    Naughty!

Jane on Guam

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2BEATIT1 11/17/2010 6:48PM

    From a poet.....I loved it !!!!!

It really made me laugh. This you write it or found it somewhere? Whatever, it is really great. Thanks for sharing.
Jean

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LADYLEE13 11/17/2010 6:31PM

    I loved this story.
Thank you
Hugs Lee

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ELLFIN3 11/17/2010 10:19AM

    What a wonderful story!!! Thanks for the laugh to start the day! Have marvelous Wednesday!!!!!! emoticon

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Influence of advertising!

Saturday, November 13, 2010



I saw this on an ad for DeVry University on my SparkPeople today and all I could think of was:

CHOCOLATE.... CARAMEL.... BUTTERSCOTCH.... VANILLA.... WINE....

Oh, Those ads!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDMA624 11/14/2010 11:22AM

  All my favorites!! emoticon

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 11/14/2010 6:29AM

    You are a riot! emoticon emoticon

Jane on Guam

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ELLFIN3 11/13/2010 7:54PM

    emoticon I am not sure but I do not think that was what you were suppose to get out of that picture! Thanks for sharing!! HeeHee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! emoticon

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MELP06 11/13/2010 6:16PM

    Too funny! I read your last couple of blogs, hysterical!

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JAQUANAH 11/13/2010 5:59PM

    emoticon

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Eat Chocolate?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

A good piece of chocolate has about 200 calories. As I enjoy 2 servings per night, and a few more on weekends, I consume about 3,500 calories of chocolate in a week, which equals one pound of weight per week.

Therefore, in the last 3-1/2 years, I have had chocolate caloric intake of about 180 pounds, and I only weigh 165 pounds.

So... without chocolate, I would have wasted away to nothing about 3 months ago! I owe my life to chocolate!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YIGOBUTTERFLY 11/14/2010 6:55AM

    Funny! Good for you! Don't want to loose you!

Jane on Guam

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MELP06 11/13/2010 6:13PM

    Love it! emoticon

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ELLFIN3 11/13/2010 12:59PM

    I like that thought! It is a great way to look at the chocolate cravings!!! Thanks for a fun blog!!!!!! emoticon

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2BEATIT1 11/13/2010 10:40AM

    Everything in moderation. Right?
Yes, some choc. is good for us as long as we have control.
Jean

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FURIAFOX 11/13/2010 9:48AM

    Ah! you just relieved my guilt. Dark chocolate is so deep and comforting to the soul. emoticon

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LAUROCHKA 11/13/2010 9:36AM

    He He - I LOVE this!
I always regarded chocolate as a superfood and there's the proof.
Lxx

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CAHUNO2 11/13/2010 8:32AM

    I have a tablespoon of Hershey's Special Dark Cocoa with my breakfast every morning. You have made an important observation emoticon One for the ages!!! emoticon

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SHELLPRO 11/13/2010 8:00AM

    emoticon Ah, but one cannot Live by Chocolate Alone? How's that Blood Sugar by the way? emoticon

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BOOTYLICIOUS83 11/13/2010 7:15AM

    I LOVE CHOCOLATE!!
.. ie.. coookies, icecream, cake candybars lol

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AMYISSUCCEEDING 11/13/2010 3:54AM

    I love your blog. I love chocolate and have to let myself have it. Have a great weekend and keep up the good work.
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TURTLERAE55 11/13/2010 2:42AM

    Keep up the good work. emoticon

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BEEMAN3 11/13/2010 2:42AM

    Thats a honey of a story.

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BODYBUGG

Monday, November 08, 2010

"A company in Pennsylvania made an armband that monitors your physical activity, counts how many calories you've burned, and then sends that information to your iPhone. That's gotta be a little depressing. 'Oh, I got a call. No, I'm just fat.'" -Jimmy Fallon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RANDOM00B 11/22/2010 4:00PM

    Now, that's one way of looking at the BodyBugg!

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NTSOHLTHNT 11/9/2010 7:19PM

    LOL, that's funny. I do have a heart rate monitor to tell me how many calories I burned, but no connectivity--I don't own a Smart Phone :-).

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YIGOBUTTERFLY 11/9/2010 6:45AM

    I think I am safe from those types of gadgets way out here! Yeah!!!
Jane on Guam emoticon

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