Sunday, October 28, 2012
A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"
Saturday, October 27, 2012
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor. The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea." The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was a judo chop from Japan." So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returned. Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that's a crowbar from Sears.
Friday, October 26, 2012
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
The older you get, the better you realize you were.
I doubt, therefore I might be.
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
Women like silent men, they think they're listening.
Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
Do pediatricians play miniature golf on Wednesdays?
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Glynis McCants The Numbers Lady
The 2012 Presidential Election
Barack Obama 1 4 5 4 2*/3 Attitude Destiny Number 1
Joe Biden 7 3 1 2 2*/4 Attitude Destiny Number 8
Mitt Romney 2 6 8 3 9*/6 AttitudeDestiny Number 6
Paul Ryan 5 4 9 2 2*/3 AttitudeDestiny Number 1
Note:The * signifies the Life Path Number
For the last three Presidential Elections, I have been able to successfully predict the winner by the Numbers. When I take a look at the Presidential Candidates and their running mates, I am able to see which Numerology Charts are stronger as a team, and in a better Cycle to win.
I must say that the World Number 5 (2012=2+0+1+2=5) is definitely wreaking some havoc on this particular Election cycle. The 5 Energy promotes drama and unexpected mischief, so, with this in mind, by the Numbers, here are my Numerology insights:
To begin with, it was important for me to see who Mitt Romney would choose as his running mate. When Paul Ryan was selected, I studied their Numbers as a team, which look pretty good on paper. The Number 2 is a very supportive Energy, and can be helpful to a person if they are in a team situation.
Paul Ryan is born on a 2 Day, is a 2 Life Path, and has a 3 Attitude. The Numbers that are very Compatible to his Energy are 3, 6, and 9. Romney was born on a 3 Day, is a 9 Life Path, and has a 6 Attitude. Romney also has a 2 in his Soul, which means he feels comfortable in his very soul about having Ryan as his running mate.
In that way, Romney made a good decision in choosing Ryan as his running mate. It is interesting to note that Joe Biden is born on a 2 Day, and is a 2 Life Path, just like Paul Ryan. Both of these men have no problem supporting someone they respect- and yes, that is because of their double 2 energy. So in a way, both the President and Romney have a good running mate, and that makes the running mates in this case, a wash.
Then, I took a look at Barack Obama's chart. At the beginning of this year when I talked to George Noory on Coast to Coast radio, I said that Obama was going into a Personal Year of 8, and because the World Number was 5 this year, and Obama is a 2 Life Path, I knew he was in for the fight of his life, and that there was no way this Election season would run smoothly for him. Anybody who has watched this Election cycle knows there have been many highs and lows for President Obama.
Obama's Destiny Number is a 1, his Life Path Number is 2, and when you add those two Numbers together, you get the Maturity Number, and in his case, his Maturity Number is a 3 (1+2=3). I see the Numbers 1, 2, 3 in Numerology as magical. When you have these numbers, it means almost anything is possible if you put your mind to it. That, of course, is a strong positive for Obama.
I did some research looking at the previous 2 Life Path Presidents, and they were Bill Clinton and Ronald Reagan. Both Presidents got two terms in their Presidency. When I checked the approval ratings of those men in the October right before their second Election, I found they both had 56% approval rating( the very reputable Gallup poll). Obama currently has a 53% approval rating in this month of October according to Gallup as of this writing. That makes his approval rating a little lower than Clinton and Reagan's, but I'd still say it gives him an edge in this contest.
Then I went back to Mitt Romney's Numerology. I noticed an interesting Number pattern there as well. Romney is a 9 Life Path, which is the Natural leader and humanitarian. Those who know him personally would say that is very true about him. Romney's Destiny Number is a 6, and the 6 is the one who feels called to rescue and help other people. We all remember that when the Olympics were upside down and losing money, Romney took over and made them a 100 million dollar profit. This year, Romney is in a Personal Year of 2, which is all about dealing with your emotions. People have often said in the past that Romney seemed stiff and robotic. Yet, after the first debate on Oct. 3rd, people were able to see him as a human being and in addition, a man with an actual sense of humor ( he was born on a 3 day which encourages humor).
Next year Obama will go into a Personal Year of 9, which usually means clearing your space for new beginnings. Romney goes into a Personal Year of 3, which is all about communication. So, I look at those Numbers and wonder What is Romney going to be talking about if he is not President? And What space is Obama clearing if he is staying in the White House? So as you can see, comparing these two men and their Numerology charts is a little more complicated.That also explains to me why they are so neck and neck in this race.
The Numbers 3, 6, and 9 are all Naturally Matched in Numerology. Romney is a 9 Life Path, next year he will be in a Personal Year of 3, and his Destiny Number is a 6, and the World Number will be also be a 6 next year( 2013=2+0+1+3=6). All of that bodes well for whatever happens in Romney's life next year.
Here the plot thickens: In this month of October, Romney is in a Personal Month of 3, which makes it possible for him to communicate effectively. Next month, he goes into a Personal Month of 4, which is a challenge to him, and could be a little more difficult. Obama is currently in a Personal Month of 9, and next month goes into a Personal Month of 1, which is all about doing whatever it takes to win. The actual day of the Election is 11/6/2012. If I were to look at my Numerology Calendar, it would be a "Sunny day" Symbol for Obama, and a "Sun With the Cloud Symbol" for Romney. That is why I have concluded that Obama has a slight edge in winning his Election. However, keeping all the Numerology information I have laid out in this Newsletter, and the fact that the World Number 5 promotes "Change", if I wake up the day after the Election, and find that Romney is the new President elect, you won't see a surprised look on my face.
I'll tell you what will SURPRISE me on Election Day!! If that day 11/6/2012 goes smoothly, and there are no problems at the polling stations, and people are not making accusations about voter fraud etc. I will be SHOCKED. I am confident, that no matter what happens on that day, we should all grab our bag of popcorn and keep our eyes WIDE OPEN.
Whether you are an Obama supporter or a Romney supporter, this is one of those Elections that is so close (even in Numerology), your vote is going to COUNT!! I think it's tragic that we as a country think it is Okay to vilify political candidates, just because we do not agree with their political views.
We should look at these men for what they offer, and what kind of difference they can make in our lives. You may not like their political positions, but judging by their Numbers, neither one of them is the Devil- I promise! :)
If you have been following this election at all, you also know these two men have very different ideas about where to take this country next.
So as I said, be sure to get out there and VOTE!!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
'Someone asked the other day, 'What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?'
'We didn't have fast food when I was growing up,'
I informed him.
'All the food was slow.'
'C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?'
'It was a place called 'at home,'' I explained. !
'Mom cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.'
By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.
But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it :
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, never wore Levis, never set foot on a golf course, never traveled out of the country or had a credit card.
In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Or maybe it was Sears & Roebuck.
Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.
My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer.
I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, (slow)
We didn't have a television in our house until I was 9.
It was, of course, black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a..m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people.
I was 15 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called 'pizza pie.' When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.
I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.
Pizzas were not delivered to our home But milk was.
All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers --my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week.. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which he got to keep 2 cents. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.
On Saturday , he had to collect the 42 cents from his customers. His favorite customers were the ones who gave him 50 cents and told him to keep the change. His least favorite customers were the ones who seemed to never be home on collection day.
Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.
If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren
Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.
Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?
MEMORIES from a friend :
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it.. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to 'sprinkle' clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.
How many do you remember?
Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals.
Older Than Dirt Quiz :
Count all the ones that you remember not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.
1. Blackjack chewing gum
2.Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines on the telephone
8 Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11.. TV test patterns that came on at night after the last show and were there until TV shows started again in the morning. (there were only 3 channels...[if you were fortunate])
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H greenstamps
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins (movies AND food)
25. Wash tub wringers
If you remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age,
If you remembered 16-25 = You' re older than dirt!
I might be older than dirt but those memories are some of the Best parts of my life.
Feel free to share this with all your really OLD friends....
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