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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

The anthropologist

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

An anthropologist shows off his priceless trove of treasure to his saintly grandmother. "What's that?" she asks, pointing to an oddly shaped item.

"Uh..." stammers the anthropologist, "it's a phallic symbol."

"Oh," says his grandmother, nodding her head. "That's good, 'cause I hate to tell you what it looks like."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AQUAGIRL08 10/10/2012 2:23PM

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 10/10/2012 1:39AM

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CMRAND54 10/9/2012 8:54PM

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DALID414 10/9/2012 11:41AM

    emoticon I love grandmothers!!

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123ELAINE456 10/9/2012 11:15AM

  Very Funny. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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MRSVK11 10/9/2012 11:09AM

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KALIOPPE 10/9/2012 9:36AM

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ALICERIEGER 10/9/2012 8:03AM

    LOL

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AMARILYNH 10/9/2012 7:39AM

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WAY2GOCAT 10/9/2012 4:59AM

    Cute! Thanks for my first smile of the day! emoticon

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MAGGIEVAN 10/9/2012 3:40AM

    Very funny. Thanks for sharing.

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EBONYSOL 10/9/2012 1:55AM

    Good one!

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LEFTHANDLUKE 10/9/2012 1:38AM

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Church Feuds

Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Church feuds are not uncommon, especially among cliques in the congregation. But when the pastor and choir director get into it, stand aside.

One week our preacher preached on commitment, and how we should dedicate ourselves to service. The director then led the choir in singing, 'I Shall Not Be Moved.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on giving and how we should gladly give to the work of the Lord. The choir director then led the song, 'Jesus Paid It All.'

The next Sunday, the preacher preached on gossiping and how we should watch our tongues. The hymn was 'I Love To Tell The Story.'

The preacher became disgusted over the situation, and the next Sunday he told the congregation he was considering resigning. The choir then sang 'Oh, Why Not Tonight.'

When the preacher resigned the next week, he told the church that Jesus had led him there and Jesus was taking him away. The choir then sang, 'What A Friend We Have in Jesus.'

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ROX525 10/10/2012 5:31AM

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 10/10/2012 5:27AM

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DIDMIS 10/10/2012 12:30AM

    A lot of people don't know we are to honor and respect those who have authority over us. I know it is a joke though

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AANGEL3 10/9/2012 5:35PM

    emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 10/9/2012 3:01PM

    Too bad.

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NAYPOOIE 10/9/2012 11:43AM

    LOL

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123ELAINE456 10/9/2012 11:18AM

  Very Sad Story. Glad to see it was a Joke and not real. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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ALICERIEGER 10/9/2012 8:07AM

    What a sad story

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AMARILYNH 10/9/2012 7:42AM

    I too was glad to see that this was a joke. Life others, I have seen the real deal - and its a sad, sad thing to witness.

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RAMALEX 10/9/2012 6:53AM

  You would think as Christians we would get along better and work our problems out among ourselves.

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MAGGIEVAN 10/9/2012 3:44AM

    A bit sick but I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.

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WILSHAR7 10/9/2012 12:44AM

    I've heard this before. It's a good thing it's only a joke, but sometimes there is animosity in the church and churches break up because of it. There is a church around the corner from me that that happened to. Some of the members stayed where they were and others went down the street and started a new church. I don't know how many years ago that was, but I've been here for 15 years and they started before that. The church is not growing and never will because of the bitter people that started it. Thanks for sharing.

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Caesar Salad Now Legal!

Sunday, October 07, 2012

WASHINGTON, DC -- California decriminalized the sale of Caesar salad this week -- and it's not a moment too soon, the Libertarian Party said today.

"When you outlaw Caesar salad, only outlaws will eat Caesar salad," noted the party's Director of Communications, Bill Winter. "That's why, on the issue of Caesar salad, we Libertarians have always been pro-legalization."

Selling Caesar salad became a crime last year when California legislators passed a new health law banning the sale of food that used raw eggs as an ingredient. Unexpectedly, the law included Caesar salad, which uses uncooked eggs in its unique dressing.

Restaurant owners and fans of the popular salad were outraged. The outcry convinced state legislators to file a new bill to cancel the criminal status of Caesar salad -- and, presumably, end what might have become a flourishing black market in contraband romaine lettuce, raw eggs, and Parmesan cheese.

The bill, signed into law by Governor Pete Wilson on Monday, has Libertarians cheering -- but a little surprised.

"We have to compliment California legislators for their rare display of good sense," acknowledged Winter. "Although we're a bit surprised that they were courageous enough to toss the Caesar salad law entirely."

Libertarians had expected politicians to take a more timid, gradual approach, said Winter, perhaps...

* Implementing a five-day waiting period for Caesar salad, so the government could do a medical background check for raw-eggallergies.

* Legalizing only "medical Caesar salad" -- whereby people with a vitamin deficiency could get a doctor's permission to buy a small amount of Caesar salad for their own personal use.

* Launching an anti-Caesar salad TV advertising blitz, perhaps with a commercial showing a frying pan, and then showing a frying pan with a raw egg in it. The voice-over could be: "This is your brain. This is your brain on Caesar salad."

* Allowing only adults, 21 and over, the right to buy Caesar salad, on the grounds that it may be an adolescent's gateway-salad to stronger stuff, like macaroni salad or three-bean salad.

But Libertarians say they are delighted with the bold, unexpected victory over the "Just Say No to Caesar Salad" lobby -- and argue that it's a win for libertarianism and the American way of life.

"We support the Constitutional right of every American to keep and bear a Caesar salad -- or, rather, to eat and buy a Caesar salad," said Winter. "All joking aside, it's a setback for those political eggheads who think they have the right to micromanage every aspect of our lives -- down to the type of salad we buy in a restaurant. Hopefully, politicians will learn ... TO JUST LETTUCE ALONE."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 10/8/2012 9:09PM

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DALID414 10/7/2012 2:57PM

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RUSSELL_40 10/7/2012 1:31PM

    Amazingly, this is the biggest victory ever by the Libertarian Party.

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COACHPENNY 10/7/2012 11:23AM

    Caesar reigns!

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ALICERIEGER 10/7/2012 10:10AM

    LOL

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LIFETIMER54 10/7/2012 5:27AM

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123ELAINE456 10/7/2012 4:42AM

  Awesome!!! Let the Government JUST LETTUCE ALONE!!! God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Enjoy Your Day.

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Cannibal country

Sunday, October 07, 2012

Cannibals capture three men. The men are told that they will be skinned and eaten and then their skin will be used to make canoes. Then they are each given a final request. The first man asks to be killed as quickly and painlessly as possible. His request is granted, and they poison him. The second man asks for paper and a pen so that he can write a farewell letter to his family. This request is granted, and after he writes his letter, they kill him saving his skin for their canoes. Now it is the third man's turn. He asks for a fork. The cannibals are confused, but it is his final request, so they give him a fork. As soon as he has the fork he begins stabbing himself all over and shouts, "To hell with your canoes!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 10/7/2012 10:29PM

    To the third man: Way to go!
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ALICERIEGER 10/7/2012 10:11AM

    That's one solution!

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KALIOPPE 10/7/2012 8:19AM

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VINTAGEPAGE 10/7/2012 8:04AM

  Lol... Thanks for sharing :)

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BEAR8MM 10/7/2012 3:15AM

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DALID414 10/7/2012 1:38AM

    Thanks for the laugh!

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Not so Blonde...

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Smart Blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn.

She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.

Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COACHPENNY 10/7/2012 11:24AM

    Is she smarter than the average blonder or just smarter than the average lawyer? emoticon

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BEAR8MM 10/7/2012 8:37AM

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SCOOTDOG 10/6/2012 9:56PM

    emoticon Who says blonds are dumb

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MISSDAISY23 10/6/2012 4:24PM

    Good one! emoticon

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DALID414 10/6/2012 2:54PM

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BUDDYSMYFRIEND 10/6/2012 1:54PM

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WOUBBIE 10/6/2012 11:34AM

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I'm sending this one to my BIL, the Joke King!

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MZZCHIEF 10/6/2012 11:02AM

    Thanks for starting my day with a smile!

: )
Mzzchief

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ALICERIEGER 10/6/2012 9:58AM

    Good for her!

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AQUAGIRL08 10/6/2012 9:04AM

    I love it!!! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!

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