SUNSHINE65   66,977
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Not so Blonde...

Saturday, October 06, 2012

Smart Blonde

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists and explains that the game is really easy and a lot of fun. He explains" I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice-versa." Again, she politely declines and tries to get some sleep.

The lawyer, now somewhat agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500," figuring that since she is a blonde that he will easily win the match. This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring that there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches in to her purse, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. Now, it's the blonde's turn.

She asks the lawyer: "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?" The lawyer looks at her with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. He taps into the Air phone with his modem and searches the Net and the Library of Congress.

Frustrated, he sends E-mails to all his coworkers and friends he knows. After over an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500. The blonde politely takes the $500 and turns away to get back to sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, so what IS the answer!?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COACHPENNY 10/7/2012 11:24AM

    Is she smarter than the average blonder or just smarter than the average lawyer? emoticon

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BEAR8MM 10/7/2012 8:37AM

    emoticon

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SCOOTDOG 10/6/2012 9:56PM

    emoticon Who says blonds are dumb

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MISSDAISY23 10/6/2012 4:24PM

    Good one! emoticon

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DALID414 10/6/2012 2:54PM

    emoticon

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BUDDYSMYFRIEND 10/6/2012 1:54PM

    emoticon

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WOUBBIE 10/6/2012 11:34AM

    emoticon

I'm sending this one to my BIL, the Joke King!

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MZZCHIEF 10/6/2012 11:02AM

    Thanks for starting my day with a smile!

: )
Mzzchief

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ALICERIEGER 10/6/2012 9:58AM

    Good for her!

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AQUAGIRL08 10/6/2012 9:04AM

    I love it!!! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!

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The Problem With Fast Food

Saturday, October 06, 2012

The big problem with "fast" food is that it slows down when it hits your stomach. And it just parks there--and lets the fat have time to get off and apply for citizenship.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVWINGS 10/7/2012 7:18PM

    Now that's the truth!!

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COACHPENNY 10/7/2012 6:46PM

    So True!

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SMOOCHIESMOMMY2 10/6/2012 7:31PM

    cute

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MISSDAISY23 10/6/2012 4:21PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 10/6/2012 10:00AM

    Thanks for sharing

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AQUAGIRL08 10/6/2012 9:17AM

    emoticon

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123ELAINE456 10/6/2012 3:45AM

  Very cute and funny. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Take Care/

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Dressage

Thursday, October 04, 2012

A champion jockey is about to enter an important race on a new horse. The horse's trainer meets him before the race and says, "All you have to remember with this horse is that every time you approach a jump, you have to shout, "ALLLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly in the horse's ear. Providing you do that, you'll be fine".

The jockey thinks the trainer is mad but promises to shout the command. The race begins and they approach the first hurdle. The jockey ignores the trainer's ridiculous advice and the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

They carry on and approach the second hurdle. The jockey, somewhat embarrassed, whispers "Aleeee ooop" in the horse's ear. The same thing happens -- the horse crashes straight through the center of the jump.

At the third hurdle, the jockey thinks, "It's no good, I'll have to do it" and yells, "ALLLEEE OOOP!" really loudly. Sure enough, the horse sails over the jump with no problems. This continues for the rest of the race, but due to the earlier problems the horse only finishes third.

The trainer is fuming and asks the jockey what went wrong. The jockey replies,

"Nothing is wrong with me -- it's this bloody horse. What is he -- deaf or something?"

The trainer replies, "Deaf?? DEAF?? He's not deaf -- he's BLIND!"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JEWELMOTI 10/5/2012 9:46AM

    As a former horse owner, I really got a kick out of your blog. Thank you for sharing! I can't wait to share this with my horse friends.

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SCOOTDOG 10/5/2012 1:23AM

    emoticon Thanks Always enjoy your blogs

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REXTINE1 10/4/2012 5:49PM

    Good one!

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MISSDAISY23 10/4/2012 11:51AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 10/4/2012 9:27AM

    All problems have a solution.

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CARRAND 10/4/2012 8:15AM

    Thanks for the chuckle.

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AQUAGIRL08 10/4/2012 7:13AM

    Thanks for starting my day with a smile!!!

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GAMMY98 10/4/2012 6:07AM

    love it

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123ELAINE456 10/4/2012 3:11AM

  This is a Good Laugh. Thanks for sharing. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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EBONYSOL 10/4/2012 2:05AM

    Thanks for the laugh:)

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Bad News!

Wednesday, October 03, 2012

A woman visited a psychic of some local repute. In a dark and gloomy room, gazing at the Tarot cards laid out before her, the Tarot reader delivered the bad news: "There is no easy way to say this so I'll just be blunt: Prepare yourself to be a widow. Your husband will die a violent death this year."

Visibly shaken, the woman stared at the psychic's lined face, then at the single flickering candle, then down at her hands. She took a few deep breaths to compose herself. She simply had to know.

She met the Tarot reader's gaze, steadied her voice and asked, "Will I get away with it?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EFFRAYECHILDE 10/10/2012 8:14AM

    emoticon

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SERASARA 10/6/2012 11:31AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JIBBIE49 10/6/2012 9:35AM

    emoticon

emoticon Great to see your blog featured in the Spark Mail. What an honor.

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REGSHAR 10/6/2012 9:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CLREYES55 10/5/2012 5:20PM

    emoticon

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WINE4GIRL 10/5/2012 8:16AM

    emoticon

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BLUEJEAN99 10/5/2012 1:53AM

    emoticon

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PCASEY7 10/4/2012 11:46PM

    Loved it!

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SPEEDY143 10/4/2012 10:14PM

    emoticon

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KIPPER15 10/4/2012 9:04PM

    Love it.

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JAMER123 10/4/2012 6:15PM

    emoticon emoticon

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IAMAGEMLOVER 10/4/2012 5:43PM

    emoticon Loved it.

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PATRICIAANN46 10/4/2012 3:31PM

  emoticon ed it!!!!!

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SWEETCEZ 10/4/2012 1:32PM

    emoticon so funny!

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TERRIJ7 10/4/2012 12:23PM

    What a hoot!

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LIVELYGIRL2 10/4/2012 11:18AM

  Oh my goodness... or badness. Grin : ) emoticon

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GOSPARK45 10/4/2012 11:16AM

    emoticon

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CICELY360 10/4/2012 10:47AM

  good blog

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MONTREAL12 10/4/2012 10:44AM

  This one actually gave me a laugh! Thank-you! emoticon

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NEWHEARTSTART 10/4/2012 10:42AM

    Good one.

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LELERS 10/4/2012 10:40AM

    emoticon

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DALID414 10/4/2012 10:31AM

    Thanks for the laugh! emoticon

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HICIM705 10/4/2012 10:23AM

    Funny!

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CRGEK1960 10/4/2012 10:22AM

    I love starting the day with a laugh! Thanks!!!

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FATTOFIT56 10/4/2012 10:13AM

    emoticon

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STHAX10 10/4/2012 9:56AM

    emoticon

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VOLLEYGIRL77 10/4/2012 9:55AM

    haha that's too funny

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B-FLAT 10/4/2012 9:55AM

    hahahahahahahahahaha emoticon

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JERSEYGIRL24 10/4/2012 9:54AM

    Now that is funny!!! emoticon

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LANEE24 10/4/2012 9:34AM

    I literally laughed out loud!!!!

This is hilarious! emoticon

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GOLDENRODGIRL 10/4/2012 9:33AM

    emoticon

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    emoticon

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NEWMOM20121 10/4/2012 8:47AM

    emoticon

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OFGREENGABLES 10/4/2012 8:46AM

    good morning laugh!

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DNRAE1 10/4/2012 8:44AM

    Very wicked! emoticon emoticon

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WALLINMW 10/4/2012 8:43AM

  Yikes!

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COACHPENNY 10/4/2012 8:38AM

    Oh that's harsh!

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PENOWOK 10/4/2012 8:36AM

    Whoa!!

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JENAE954 10/4/2012 8:34AM

  emoticon

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MANDALORE 10/4/2012 8:33AM

    emoticon

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SIZE8NOTSOMUCH 10/4/2012 7:57AM

    Thanks, I needed that!!


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    emoticon

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SASSYLJB 10/4/2012 7:32AM

    emoticon

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LAURIE5658 10/4/2012 7:23AM

    Too funny!!! Thank you for the giggle!

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BESSHAILE 10/4/2012 7:19AM

    Wicked. LOL

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JANEMARIE77 10/4/2012 7:17AM

    thanks for the am smile

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SAMI199 10/4/2012 6:42AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TREYONE 10/4/2012 6:32AM

  emoticon

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DEL-AND-COMPANY 10/4/2012 5:54AM

  Har har har...Good one! emoticon

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TRYINGHARD54 10/4/2012 5:45AM

    lol lol

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In-flight safety lecture...

Monday, October 01, 2012

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARDENQE2 10/14/2012 3:53PM

    Good blog!
I once flew in a small prop plane from Denver CO to Casper WY.
The attendant said, "If you look out your window right now, you will see a tiny farm pond. If we should land on water..."
emoticon

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NAYPOOIE 10/3/2012 11:15PM

    LOL

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MISSDAISY23 10/3/2012 10:53PM

    emoticon

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CARRAND 10/2/2012 4:54PM

    Funny!

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MOLLYEEEEE 10/2/2012 3:14PM

    LOL


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ALICERIEGER 10/2/2012 11:50AM

    I like thrm

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123ELAINE456 10/2/2012 4:17AM

  Very entertainning and Cute. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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DIANE7786 10/1/2012 10:25PM

    Cute!

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