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In-flight safety lecture...

Monday, October 01, 2012

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture", and their other announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

1. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort, and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

2. On landing the stewardess said, "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

3. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Washington National, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

4. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

5. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GARDENQE2 10/14/2012 3:53PM

    Good blog!
I once flew in a small prop plane from Denver CO to Casper WY.
The attendant said, "If you look out your window right now, you will see a tiny farm pond. If we should land on water..."
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NAYPOOIE 10/3/2012 11:15PM

    LOL

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MISSDAISY23 10/3/2012 10:53PM

    emoticon

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CARRAND 10/2/2012 4:54PM

    Funny!

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MOLLYEEEEE 10/2/2012 3:14PM

    LOL


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ALICERIEGER 10/2/2012 11:50AM

    I like thrm

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123ELAINE456 10/2/2012 4:17AM

  Very entertainning and Cute. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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DIANE7786 10/1/2012 10:25PM

    Cute!

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Just sayin'...

Sunday, September 30, 2012

1) Itís better to be crazy & know it than being sane & doubt it.

2) Iím lost. I've gone out to find me. If I come back before I return, please ask me to wait.

3) I live in my own little world!!! But that's okay, cause they know me there.

4) No lifeguard on duty. Swim at your own risk...

5) Daydreaming is way better than school!

6) Education is the progressive relation of our ignorance.

7) Insanity: A perfectly normal change to a normal mind.

8) The voices in my head are snoring.

9) Me? Psychotic? What gave you that idea?

10) Iím not crazy! It's the rest of you that are freaks!

11) You say I'm psycho like it's a bad thing!

12) Insanity in individuals is something rare but in groups, parties, nations, & epochs... it is the rule!!!

13) Only two things are infinite: the universe, & human stupidity...

14) My fist & your teeth have an appointment...

15) If nobody is perfect then hi, my name is Nobody.

16) Caution: Professionals at work

17) I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

18) Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off till further notice!!!

19) Lifting weights are fun!!!

20) Use your siblings to your advantage.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 10/3/2012 10:50PM

    emoticon

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EVWINGS 10/3/2012 4:41AM

    This one is great, too. Both hubby and i have PTSD and papers showing it! We both love saying we are both crazy and have the papers to prove it!!

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NEWKATHYNOW 10/2/2012 12:45PM

    Loved it! We can always count on you for a laugh.

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ALICERIEGER 10/1/2012 10:15AM

    Thanks for the laugh

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CARRAND 10/1/2012 10:05AM

    These are cute! They say one person out of every three is certifiably mentally ill. Look around. If you two best friends are sane, you must be the crazy one.

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123ELAINE456 10/1/2012 1:33AM

  They are so cute and funny. Thank You for sharing them with us. God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week.

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AQUAGIRL08 9/30/2012 8:34PM

    emoticon

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BARCLE 9/30/2012 5:22PM

    emoticon emoticon

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TONYTHETSANGEL 9/30/2012 4:17PM

    OMG!! These were so funny and I definitely needed a good laugh today!
THANK YOU!!! emoticon

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Do Not Honk at Old People

Saturday, September 29, 2012

A lady was videotaping her son riding a skate board when her attention switched to an old woman trying to cross the street. You can hear the lady who is doing the taping giggling as she records the event. The video is a quick one... but you'll probably watch it more than once.


dave6.posterous.com/dont-honk-at-old
-people

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINE4GIRL 10/5/2012 8:31AM

    I just mentioned this the other day. Thanks for the link and the laugh!
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ILIKETOZUMBA 10/4/2012 9:43AM

    LOL that was amazing! I just sent the link to my whole family. :)

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PURPLELVR7 10/3/2012 7:41AM

    emoticon emoticon

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MI-ELLKAYBEE 10/3/2012 4:54AM

    emoticon

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AANGEL3 10/1/2012 3:05PM

    emoticon

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MISSDAISY23 9/30/2012 8:42PM

    can't stop laughing... emoticon

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SCOOTDOG 9/30/2012 3:03PM

    emoticon loved it

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GGMOM06 9/30/2012 1:49PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon DON'T MESS WITH US OLD FOLKS !!

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NAYPOOIE 9/30/2012 1:46PM

    made me giggle too.

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ALICERIEGER 9/30/2012 10:34AM

    Thanks

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123ELAINE456 9/30/2012 3:42AM

  Love the video. The Lady should have taken his Healights out too. What a Jerk!!! God Bless You and Have a Wonderful Week. Enjoy Your Day. Take Care.

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ALIHIKES 9/30/2012 12:42AM

    LOVE the video, thanks for posting!

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PJBONARRIGO 9/29/2012 8:16PM

    LOL T emoticon hat seems to be a case of just desserts.

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World's Thinnest Books

Thursday, September 27, 2012


America's Most Popular Lawyers



Dr. Kevorkian's Collection of Motivational Speeches



How to Get to The Super Bowl - by Dan Marino



Things I Can't Afford - by Bill Gates 

M

y Plan to Find the Real Killers - by O. J. Simpson 



Things I Would Not Do for Money - by Dennis Rodman



The Wild Years - by Al Gore



Amelia Earhart's Guide to the Pacific Ocean 

Detroit - a Travel Guide

Everything Men Know about Women



Everything Women Know about Men 



George Foreman's Big Book of Baby Names 



To All the Men I've Loved Before - by Ellen Degeneres



Mike Tyson's Guide to Dating Etiquette 



Spotted Owl Recipes - by the EPA 



The Amish Phone Directory

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 9/29/2012 11:25PM

    Very funny!

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REXTINE1 9/28/2012 5:48PM

    emoticon emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 9/27/2012 4:26PM

    Thanks for the chuckle.

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MISSDAISY23 9/27/2012 3:38PM

    emoticon

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123ELAINE456 9/27/2012 11:14AM

  So funny. God Bless You and Have an Wonderful Week. Have a Nice Day.

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ATLTRAINR 9/27/2012 9:31AM

    emoticon

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SPARKLE1908 9/27/2012 9:01AM

    You are too funny!!!! emoticon

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WOUBBIE 9/27/2012 8:12AM

    emoticon

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BRIDIE5 9/27/2012 7:38AM

  emoticon

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DARLY55 9/27/2012 7:02AM

    Funny, thanks! emoticon

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KNITCAT1 9/27/2012 4:41AM

    My chuckle for the (very early) morning.

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FATHINSN 9/27/2012 3:10AM

    Haha, if those books exist, might be very pricey!

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What Do I Look Like?

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

There was a young couple living in an old run down house. One day the man gets home from work and his wife says, "Honey, look at the walls. They haven't been painted as long as we have lived here. It's peeling and cracking; couldn't you please just paint them?"



"Who do I look like? Michelangelo?" the man replies.



"I guess not", says the wife. 



The next day the man gets back from work again. Again his wife starts to complain. "Oh sugar, couldn't you just please at least repair the stairs? They're falling apart and they're really unsafe to walk up." 



The man says, "Who do I look like? Frank Lloyd Wright?"



"Well, maybe not," says the wife.



The next week the man returns from his job. He walks into his house and is suddenly amazed. The stairs are fixed, the walls were painted and the house looked superb. "Honey.....How did you do this? It looks great!" he says.

"Well I met up with a handyman down the street. He offered to repair our house if I either bake him a batch of brownies or sleep with him" says the wife.



"Well, honey, you baked the batch of brownies, right?"



The wife replies, "Who do I look like, Sara Lee?"

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 9/30/2012 1:48PM

    serves him right

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R-U-JELLEN 9/28/2012 9:50AM

    Too funny !
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SCOOTDOG 9/27/2012 9:48PM

    emoticon

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ALICERIEGER 9/27/2012 4:27PM

    Good one!

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MISSDAISY23 9/27/2012 3:40PM

    Thanks for the laugh! I needed it! emoticon
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STUFFNEARTABOR 9/27/2012 3:03PM

    Perfect!!! Thanks for the smile.
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AQUAGIRL08 9/27/2012 9:39AM

    emoticon

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BRIDIE5 9/27/2012 7:41AM

  Bwhhaha..as womn who just finished a total reno DYIS with her DH I find this a hoot..

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ALIHIKES 9/27/2012 1:01AM

    Very funny! emoticon

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