SUNSHINE65   56,135
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SUNSHINE65's Recent Blog Entries

I want this performance to be as realistic as possible

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

A man went into the pet shop, "I am playing Long John Silver in the local amateur dramatic societies version of Treasure Island and need a parrot to sit on my shoulder," he said.

"I don't have any parrots at the moment, but you wouldn't want a real parrot for that. It would squawk in all the wrong places, poop on your shoulder and generally be a nuisance. What you need is a stuffed parrot. Just as realistic and easily controlled."

"I'm not sure a stuffed parrot would be okay," said the customer. "I do want this performance to be as realistic as possible."

"I am sure a stuffed parrot would be fine," said the pet shop owner. "I have one at home. I'll bring it in and if you come back on Thursday you can have it."

"Sorry," said the customer, "I can't make it on Thursday. That's the day I'm having my leg cut off."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALICERIEGER 9/14/2012 10:46AM

    That,s a little too realistic

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GRAMMAP1 9/12/2012 11:58PM

    Peg leg Pete, eh?

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ALEXSGIRL1 9/12/2012 7:26PM

    omg good joke

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The Myths of the Education Crisis

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NAYPOOIE 9/13/2012 2:13PM

    Well, having read the article, can't really support most of his points. I agree it isn't the teacher's fault (mostly), kids can certainly get a good education out of public schools if they work at it. My daughter graduated from a small town public high school and went on to graduate from Harvard. No tutors, special classes, the only thing outside the school itself was a SAT study guide.

But saying that graduation rates are up doesn't mean anything if the kids come out of high school unable to write a coherent paper or not knowing the science and history and whatnot they should. I've seen way to many functionally illiterate "high school graduates" to say that higher graduation rates mean anything. You ever watch JayWalk on the Tonight Show? Yeah, you forget a lot of this stuff after you get out of school, but way too many people never learn it in the first place.

As for test scores being up, what does that mean when our students compare so badly to the rest of the world? Teaching to the test is not teaching, nor are they getting an education from it.

As for poverty, I'm not really clear what his point was. Yes it's a problem, not just that they live in poverty and lack social services, but the schools are poorly supplied, and I know from experience that the best teachers and administrators will get skimmed off and sent to more prosperous schools. And it is most certainly an educational crisis, not a myth.

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RAWHIDE64 9/12/2012 7:22PM

    The title of the article is misleading. The facts that he provides, while correct, are inadequate to represent the state of education in our great nation. 30. 40. and 50 years ago we provided the best educations of any nation in the world. Now, we rank 17th in several subjects. That's not improvement no matter how confidently the author says it. He's wrong on that.

This is a report published by the current administration.

To blame the situation on the teachers is ludicrous. The author is correct in that. The great majority of public school teachers do a great job and teachers don't set policy nor establish standards.

The situation is a lot more complex than the author represented and as long a politicians keep messing with it the situation will only get worse.

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MYREALANA 9/12/2012 3:59PM

    I don't know the details of the teacher's union struggles in Chicago.

I do know that, in general, teachers are paid less than comparably educated and experienced professionals. My dad has two masters degrees, and spent over 30 years teaching public school. I make more now than he ever did in his life - even adjusted for inflation from the time he retired from teaching in 2005.

And these are the people we depend on to shape the future of our country. These are the people preparing our future workforce. Our country doesn't grow if we don't value education and educators.

Comment edited on: 9/12/2012 4:00:27 PM

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NAYPOOIE 9/12/2012 3:02PM

    Couldn't open the article for some reason. I have to agree it's too easy for a lot of students. A young friend of my sister's was showing her a paper she got an A on (high school). Full of misspellings and unclear sentences, definitely not outstanding stuff. There was a lot of room for the teacher to coach the kid in how to make it better, but the only comment was 'Great!'.

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RUSSELL_40 9/12/2012 11:53AM

    I think this is the base of most problems in America. Education. Both of my parents dropped out of school to work on farms, and returned to get GED's. They were born in 42, and 43. My Dad got 8 patents, and was making $100 an hour as a consultant when he had his stroke. Back then, you could go from High School to make a wage to support your family. Now, without an education, you struggle to avoid poverty.

My Dad talked my brother and I into not " wasting out time " with education. We worked at factories 84 hours a week, for $8 an hour, and felt rich. Then all the factories closed, I started working at a pizzeria, and then got sick. My brother just went back to college at 42. He makes so little, working part time, that he got a Pell grant to pay for his tuition.. Thanks for doubling that Obama! What will that do for him? Well, the average pay for a person with a Bachelor's degree is over 5X what he is making, and much easier to do, physically. He got a 35 on his ACT, and should have gone to college back then. His life would have been different. We were educated at a wonderful public school, which is now almost bankrupt. The teachers are being maligned, even though they make just 45K average.

Many teachers have a Masters Degree. Other jobs requiring this would pay 80-120 K a year, but we complain if they want 60K. Teachers are underpaid, not overpaid. We need to invest in education, and continue to improve America, one person at a time. For just over $5000 a year, my brother can add 50K a year to his salary. Even at 10% taxes, he would pay the tuition back in 4 years. Education is a revenue enhancer. Having a bunch of minimum wage earners is not good for America. We should fund schools fully, appreciate teachers, and not think of education as a chore that we finish at 18. If so, the world will continue to pass us by.We should provide free college for 4 years at any community college.

Sadly, here in MI, we now will not provide health care benefits for new teachers, and just a 401K, no retirement.It was called the " Teacher Bill ". If you were thinking of being a teacher here, you are thinking one of two things now. Switch career goals, or get a teaching degree, and leave MI. I always find it amazing that we send our children to school, entrusting their education to a teacher, but think that teacher is worthless. If so, why did you send your kid there?

Tutor a child for a year, and tell me that teachers are overpaid. Not easy. I do agree that there are some bad teachers, but by %, a lot less bad teachers, than bad politicians. We don't cut the pay of politicians, or try to abolish Congress though.

Comment edited on: 9/12/2012 11:56:15 AM

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DIET_FRIEND 9/12/2012 11:09AM

    I agree with you that not all teachers are terrific, Naolee. I agree that teachers teach to the test too. I think they do that because there is so much riding on that test, like the teacher's job. I have downloaded the article and will be interested to read it.

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WOUBBIE 9/12/2012 8:15AM

    Excellent article. I'm sick of all the teacher bashing that goes on. You couldn't PAY me enough to do that job. And we can't pay THEM enough half the time either.

@NAOLEEE: "I think" and "I feel" expresses your subjective experiences, and that's perfectly fine, but the article speaks to the actual facts of the situation, not how we all perceive them. It did point out that there is still a substantial lag in Latino school perfomance, and you might be on the front lines of that issue. As it mentioned, there ARE schools that are failing, but there are many more that are improving year by year.

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GLASSART43 9/12/2012 7:59AM

    Thanks for sharing this!

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NAOLEE 9/12/2012 2:36AM

    Well I can't agree. My primary language is spanish. I see a lot of teachers writing wrong the words. Today the teacher give all the test to study at home. A lot of things I think is really bad now than when I was studying. When I was studying if I wrote a word wrong was 5 points out of the test for each wrong word . We had to study everything because we didn't know was coming in the test. (I never studied). If a student didn't do the homework; didn't have brake to play outside. (I had almost all the year in 4th grade inside the classroom w/out going outside to play because I never did a homework). I think today everything is too easy for the student and a lot of teachers don't know how to write and the student learn what the teacher write. This not only in Spanish. I see that in English, too. Too easy for the students and the students don't take serious the classes. I didn't studied; but I had A's and I learned all the grammatical we use in Spanish and I still using what I learned; but I see a lot of teachers that doesn't know to write and that go to the students because they do what the teacher is teaching. As I said; I see that in Spanish and English, too.

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RESTORED_ME 9/12/2012 2:20AM

    THANK YOU!!! I am a Chicago Public School teacher and this message is being choked & smothered out of the media... PLEASE continue to spread the word.

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Tickle Me Elmo

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

  There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of
Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge
bag of small marbles. The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena. 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I
think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday...'

'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.'

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 9/12/2012 3:34PM


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COACHPENNY 9/12/2012 2:20PM

    Tickle you FUNNY!

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ALICERIEGER 9/12/2012 8:17AM

    Aaw--The art of conversation!!

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123ELAINE456 9/11/2012 11:56PM


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HEALTHYAGER 9/11/2012 8:46PM

    HA! Brightened my day reading that!

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NAYPOOIE 9/11/2012 7:23PM


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ELLFIN3 9/11/2012 4:50PM

    emoticon Love it!! Thanks for the giggles!! ((HUGS))

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JATHUENER 9/11/2012 4:37PM

    LOL that is funny

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Police Comments were taken from police car videos

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

The following 15 Police Comments were taken from actual police car videos around the country. Count down to #1...

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."

# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the
speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."

#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can
write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think
it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O. K., I'm warning you not to do that
again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are

drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go
to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and corn dogs and step in monkey poo. "

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say you had?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2 "I'm glad to hear that chief (of Police) Hawker is a personal friend

of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

The envelope please.....................


#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MISSDAISY23 9/12/2012 3:37PM


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ALICERIEGER 9/12/2012 8:13AM


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MI-ELLKAYBEE 9/12/2012 1:42AM

    emoticon Love your blogs!

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BALLOUZOO 9/11/2012 9:23PM

    Thank you for the funnies :)

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LADYJAKE1 9/11/2012 8:52PM

    My daughter is her 9th week at the police academy, I will show her this thread.

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AQUAGIRL08 9/11/2012 6:12PM

    Thanks for the laugh!!!!

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BARCLE 9/11/2012 3:53PM

    These are classic - love 'em emoticon

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COACHPENNY 9/11/2012 3:08PM

    Oh man...these are priceless. Yes, they are bad but, I wouldn't want to be a cop. They have to balance the macho (even the women cops) with enforcement and fairness.

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BICKEY11 9/11/2012 2:27PM


Comment edited on: 9/11/2012 2:29:00 PM

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BICKEY11 9/11/2012 2:27PM

    thank god i'm pretty!

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MSLZZY 9/11/2012 2:08PM


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PICKIE98 9/11/2012 2:07PM

    My dad was a police officer,, I heard a few of these, but they are all funny! I like the toaster oven one,, wish it was true!!

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Job creation bush > obama

Monday, September 10, 2012

or go to:

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYREALANA 9/12/2012 3:50PM

    Wow, is there some king of tag-team mailing list for the people who keep coming to your blog to tell you what you can and can't write, Sunshine?

I congratulate you on your tolerance. I would just delete those comments from my personal blog if they wrote to me.

You are a more tolerant woman than I, and I salute you.

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COACHPENNY 9/12/2012 2:19PM

    I noticed someone here bemoaning the lack of blogs that favor Romney......telling isn't it?

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IDLETYME 9/11/2012 8:41PM

    No Comment!

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ROSALIEESTHER 9/11/2012 6:03PM

    In case anyone cares to know, there are political teams here on sparkpeople The blogs are our own personal opinions and we have the right to post anything that is on our minds.

The election is on most minds these days. Since the Republicans consistently spout the lie that Obama has killed jobs, it is important to learn the truth.

I am grateful to Sunshine for posting valuable information - truth!

Actually, Jill, if you look at the truth, Obama has spent less in his four years than any other president dating back to Reagan. Please check your facts. If they come from Faux News, well you know, they aren't facts, they're faux.

Go Sunshine!

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ANOTHER_NEWDAWN 9/11/2012 1:59PM

    This may be a health and fitness site, but people post about all sorts of things, and politics are one of them. Besides, I think that the health and fitness of the Nation is very important as well. That's why we need 4 More Years!!!!!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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AANGEL3 9/11/2012 11:41AM

    I've been posting stuff, or rather sharing, stuff on my Facebook page and I got a lot of neg feed back. But you know what? It's MY Facebook page...just as this is YOUR blog! So post away my friend! BTW...I'm in the Obama camp!

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MISSDAISY23 9/11/2012 11:40AM

    Everyone should be entitled to their own opinion. Everyone should also be entitled to blog whatever they like here. I am pretty sure I read this here on Spark People. emoticon

I hope Obama gets re-elected as our president.

Comment edited on: 9/11/2012 11:50:22 AM

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ALICERIEGER 9/11/2012 8:47AM

    I find it helpful to see different opinions. You favor Obama. I wish I could see a blog by someone who favors Romney.

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DIET_FRIEND 9/11/2012 8:29AM

    I've seen this on FaceBook. When I post stuff like this there, I get my share of negative feedback. People don't have to read your blog if they don't like political opinions.

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COACHPENNY 9/11/2012 2:38AM

It's your personal blog with it what you like. I happen to like your point of view but, if I didn't I wouldn't be so immature to think that my negative opinion should sway you to blog otherwise.

Chart or not........having done my homework.......I'm voting to re-elect President Obama.

NEWS FLASH....Spark is a social network and there political blogs and teams and threads EVERYWHERE on this site.

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J-UNIT 9/10/2012 11:33PM

    No matter my opinion on this chart, I do not think it belongs on a health/fitness site. There is a place for politics and here it does not belong.

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JILLITA55 9/10/2012 11:33PM

    Obama has also spent more money than any other President. Another 4 years we will be in the poor house.

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READE2MOVE2012 9/10/2012 11:30PM

  Everyone should know that Obama has created more jobs than Bush did in his eight years.

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