Thursday, December 01, 2011
It seems that my panic over those cupcakes was a bit unnecessary. Jumped on my scale yesterday and it did one of those weird 'skip a number' tricks on me and said 59kg! This was a bit of shock, so I decided I wasn't ready to make it official yet (my weight takes time to settle, so I give it a few days before recording it) and, this morning (my official weigh-in day) I was closer to 60kg than 59kg (at least with my pajamas still on).
For some reason I'm not quite ready to face 59kg - I was expecting it in two weeks time!! I haven't began planning for maintenance yet and I guess I need to start quickly. My best friend is in town this weekend, so I have another intense eating session ahead. She has known me for twenty years, so this will be a hard one as she also has never seen me this skinny! (We've known each other for twenty years, but seldom been in the same country for long! This is the first time we seem to have settled within two hours of each other since college). But, after last weekend, I'm pretty sure I can handle it with moderate eating of all the goodies and a bit of extra exercise.
I think I will be at my goal weight by this time next week. (Wow, what a thought!!).
But, what I need to figure out is why instead of feeling joy and tribulation I am feeling quite scared.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Two cupcakes is better than three cakes, right?
My inner softie says: Absolutely, you aced this birthday bonanza
My inner nazi says: Not at all, you should have been stronger, you deserve to be punished!! TWO cupcakes!! and you went over your calorie limit twice in four days! (The creme brulee is an unmentionable.....you don't even know how many calories were in it!!)
My inner softie says: Yes, but she was only over by about two or three hundred calories and STILL below 2000 calories on both days - and she kept on tracking!! And she ate the skinny burger at Byrons, not to mention the vegetarian option at the French Bistro. Give her a break!!
My inner nazi says: But, this is only the beginning. If she can't cut it now she will totally FAIL at Christmas time.
(At this point I ran to the gym both yesterday and today and worked out for one solid hour on each day, which I never do, in the hope of burning off those *!*!*! cupakes......)
After the exercise:
My inner softie: Ok, you've made up for it. Relax, re-focus. Think of all the good choices you made these last four days
But the blasted inner nazi thinks I need more punishment.......ARGH!!
So, I'm trying to listen to my softie because what's done is done. I've done my best to recover from it with the extra exercise and a week that is healthier than this last one.....I have to keep believing in myself.... less than two kilos to go before I reach my goal.......
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Last year I got three cakes for my birthday - a breakfast cake, a dinner time cake and then a family cake later on in the week. And all were gone within three days! This year?
This year I realise that it cannot just be about the cake. it needs to be about something else too! Funnily enough even writing that sounds a bit shallow - when it comes to celebrations is it only the food I care about?
When I think of Christmas I think Christmas cake, roast potatoes and mince pies. Birthdays are all about the cake (I will even bake cakes for people if need be. A birthday is not a birthday without the cake in my mind!) When I lived in America, Thanksgiving was all about the pies - what amazing pies - and Halloween = candy. I hate to admit it, but, it really has been all about the food for me, and so going into a holiday season wanting to reach my goal weight has left me wondering what on earth it's all about!
I have been reading all about holiday eating the last few days, gathering tips and thinking about what other people have been writing about managing to eat more healthily and still enjoy the holiday season. There is some great advice out there and here are my musings:
This year I need to radically change focus. If my focus is purely on what the stuffing tastes like and what to have with my turkey slice then Christmas will not have it's usual allure if I'm limiting the very thing I was most looking forward to. For the past few days all I've been thinking about is: Should I have the Christmas cake or the Christmas pudding - which is more important? And Christmas is a month away.
So I need to shift the focus away from food onto something else. I'll be spending Christmas with my in-laws, so maybe I need to focus on improving those relationships this year (This may not be a radical thought for other people. I am deeply humbled that food has been more of a focus for me than family relationships at Christmas) and spending more time talking and playing with them. Even helping with the washing up would be more productive than sitting in front of the fire eating another mince pie.
Be more interested in the people around the table than the food on the table - that's my goal this Christmas season!
And my birthday? I'm a Thanksgiving baby and the last time my birthday fell on Thanksgiving was my first year of studying in the States and the beginning of one of the most wonderful years of my life. The last three years have been a struggle, so, maybe I need to see this birthday as being a way to let go of the hard years and think of the new year as being one full of beautiful potential. I don't need three cakes for that!!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
This is inspired by a comment on my last blog!!
It is hard work, this dieting/ healthy lifestyle/ weight loss thing. I do have to say 'no' to a lot of things I would probably enjoy doing (or eating - especially with all these Wintery double cream chocolate caramel coffees on sale......) and I do have to say 'yes' - or more frequently set my mind on 'go to the gym/ go and run/ put in an exercise DVD/ do some push ups - without listening to the part of me that is tired and cold, and wants to snuggle up with a book and a blanket.
I do have to count my calories everyday. Sometimes it is not all that enjoyable, but I need to learn how I eat, where my emotional triggers are (boredom and stress it seems) and that calorie limit is a great motivator to stop me from eating more than I should be. I do eat a lot less chocolate than I want to. I have only eaten half of things and then thrown them away - because I knew the whole of it would be too much. I have tweaked my calorie counter, increased my exercise every week it seems, blogged, joined challenges, written on message boards, read copious articles, etc, etc.......
So, yes, my scale may be mysterious in how it behaves (see previous blog), but, I am working at this. Thanks, fellow sparkers, for reminding me of that.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
I get on the scale every morning, but only write down my weight once a week - usually on a Thursday unless I've noticed a definite jump from one kilogram to another. Our scale is not an electric one, so my weight is never very specific. I'm either a new kg, or somewhere in between one or the other.
For the last two weeks I've been 'somewhere in between 62 and 63 kg and I was beginning to think that as I'm nearing my weight loss goal, this would become a normal pattern. Previously my weight loss had been quite regular - about 0.5kg a week. This sudden stalling was hard to get used to, but as so many people say, as long as the general trend is downward, keep going.
So, imagine my surprise when I jump on the scale and it has very definitely landed at 61! No 'somewhere in between', just plain 61. I decided to wait a few days before recording it, in case it was a bit of a once off, but two days later and the scale has not budged.
So, my hypothesis is now that the scale has a mind of its' own, and that some kilos may be a little bit more sticky than others!
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