Monday, December 02, 2013
Today, as an evening treat, I ordered a hot chocolate with marshmallows. I knew it was decadent, but I also knew I had that I would still be within my calorie range, even with this little indulgence. I hadn't had real hot chocolate for ages, and I really wanted one.
The hot chocolate arrived and I popped the two marshmallows on top, leaving them to melt a little bit before taking my first sip. As I was putting the cup down after savouring my first sip, I noticed that there were two more marshmallows that I hadn't seen before and I was filled with such joy!! Two extra marshmallows - what a delight!!
Now, the reason I'm writing this is because I was so surprised at the absolute delight I was feeling from this little sugar indulgence and I realised it needed a bit of analysis. Why the surprise?
Then I realised that for so many years when I ate sugary treats, instead of joy, I felt guilt. Sometimes I'd feel guilty because I knew it would make me fat, and it reminded me of my unhappiness at being overweight; sometimes because I'd already been bingeing on too much chocolate, and this was just more of the same.
I'm not entirely sure I ever fully enjoyed the sweet treats. There were too many other negative emotions to contend with.
So, what I think I experienced today was a healthy reaction to a sweet treat.
It's a good feeling. It makes me want to have more reactions like that and keep the sweet things I eat as occasional treats - just to have that feeling again! Perhaps my emotions are starting to catch up with my weight loss. It's taken them two years, but hey, this gives me a new reason to keep up with maintaining.
Friday, November 08, 2013
In fact, I came third in the last maintenance challenge, so go me!!
This week has not been a good week. I came down with a cold that also managed to affect my ear. This meant that when I got out of bed in the morning, or made any sudden movements I got a sudden case of vertigo! Fortunately, I'm feeling much better today, so I think the worst of it has passed.
The thing about colds is that it is harder for me to get out the door and exercise and much easier to say 'yes' to the cookies and cakes. I am sick after all!!
Those two things don't balance out, however, and the scale does a good job of reminding me of that.
Two things have helped me cope this week:
1: Just say "no".
The "at goal and maintaining" team have a thread where they ask, "what did you say no to today" or something similar, which affirms the strength it can take to say "no" to junk food. I've been stopping and asking myself if I really need to pop the chocolate into my shopping basket, and then, if the answer is "no", leaving it alone. It helps me. It's a little thing, but is one step closer to keeping my body healthy.
2: Tell myself I'm going for a half hour jog.
I realise this may be a bit of bribery and corruption going on, but today, as I was feeling just a little better, I said to myself, "go on, just half an hour". It was enough to get me into my running gear and out the door. Then, amazingly, when I hit the 30 minute mark, I found myself thinking, "go on, just five minutes more" and on it went until I managed an hour of jogging.
Sometimes we just need to imagine doing the first few steps. Once we've done those, the next few steps seem possible.
I read through my last blog before writing this and, amazingly, I've managed to meet most of the goals. Making sandwiches for lunch is still not as regular as it could be, but I do feel life is settling in to a groove here, and I'm becoming more and more comfortable with the idea that this is a new groove, not at all my old routine, but it's a groove that is working and slowly taking shape.
Saturday, October 12, 2013
This last week has been a tough one for me. This was the week when the University set down their expectations for Phd students and I spent a lot of time getting to know my (much younger) fellow students and getting to grips with what achieving a Phd will actually mean!
More than the workload, I began to realise that my usual training schedule was going to need to change, too. I have always gone jogging in the evening, and, although I didn't realise it, seen it as something to look forward to at the end of the day. My college timetable is not going to allow for that. As most of my scheduled lectures are at the end of the day, it is going to make more sense to jog in the mornings. For some reason, this has really upset me.
Added to that, I have not been able to set aside time for lunch. I find myself travelling at what was my 'old' lunchtime and have just been fitting in some food wherever I can find the time. Argh!
My old routine is not fitting into this new life!!
Things need to change.
There is no point trying to do things the way that I used to, because I can already see that it will lead to failure, disappointment and a return to bad habits. I can see that if I want to keep up with my running and healthier lifestyle, I'm going to need to adapt, and, like I needed to when I first started Sparkpeople, this is going to need a little bit of planning.
So, here goes:
Jogging needs to be done first thing in the morning. Instead of it being something I look forward to at the end of the day, I need to see it as a way to start off my day well.
I can still pack myself a sandwich everyday. That way I know that I've prepared for lunch, and, over time, I'll find a regular time to enjoy my lunch.
Start waking up and going to bed at the same time everyday. This may help in feeling like I have some sort of routine.
Plan my studying the way I started exercising - with just ten minutes everyday. Set myself smaller, realistic tasks. It may seem too small at the moment, but it will grow and in time I'll be able to keep up with the academic conversations in class.
Keep monitoring my exercise and my calories, just to make sure I'm keeping stable in that area (Being part of the 5% challenge always helps with this). I'm not trying to lose weight, I'm just making sure no bad habits are creeping in without me noticing.
Work on my attitude and perspective. Just for now, try to see not only the frustrating, negative side of change, but look for the potential in living differently.
This is a start. It is interesting to see how I like to try and fit my old routines into new environments. I think this is the first time that I've realised I can't do that. It is a tough realisation, but I think it may be the key to not gaining an extra ten pounds of frustration. It is also interesting to notice how my main frustration is over when to eat a sandwich and having to change the time I go jogging!! Those things are easily resolved.
Sunday, September 22, 2013
There we are. My ever supportive DH and me. He has seen me progress from my first 5km in 2009 (at 148 pounds) to my first half marathon (at 120 pounds). At the end of the race he said, "your body has certainly changed since your first race!!"
In spite of my IT band giving me a bit of trouble this last week, I managed quite well. I've learned that if I concentrate on relaxing my shoulder it somehow helps release the tension I feel in my knee. I knew to start at a slow pace as that would enable to keep going the entire distance without pain at the end. It worked!!
When I hit the 10 mile mark I knew that I could just go for it, and I did. It was amazing what a mental boost it was to think: "this is the same as a 5km race. I can do that!!" and just let my body take over.
The weather was overcast and cool, just perfect for running, and the course was fairly flat. There was a steep incline just before entering the race track, which was not ideal at the end of a race, but I managed. I ran the whole distance averaging about 9.30 mins per mile, with a final burst of energy at the end. My last three miles were all under 9 mins per mile. I passed the finish line just at just over 2 hours, which was what I was hoping for. I'll get the official time later today, but I think it will be 2:01 or 2:02.
IT band is sore now, so sitting on the couch resting it. The rest of me feels great!! Give me a few weeks and I'll be ready for the next one!! The training for this has been long (nearly 7 months) so I'm extra relieved that it went well, and very happy.
Thanks for all the support!
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