SUNSHINE20113   27,807
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Pampering without overeating - is this possible?

Monday, April 02, 2012

I have given myself a treat - a few days away at a spa for time to relaz, and treat my body to some well earned massage treatments. What I didn't anticipate was the food I would encounter on this trip.
I've just returned from dinner at their restaurant. Nothing on the meal was low calorie, so i ended up getting a burger and chips, which is something I haven't eaten in a long time. I was so hungry that I ate it all pretty fast, and then gulped down a hot chocolate with cookies. (By the time the hot chocolate came, I wasn't thinking in healthy terms anymore, I was in pre-sparkpeople mode).
Now, however, I am suffering. My stomach is aching from this over-indulgence (a new experience, 6 months ago, I would still be able to eat ice cream after that!)
It seems that pampering cannot equal huge quantities of calorie loaded food for me - it now makes me feel ill (which is a good thing, right?)
But, I do need to somehow persuade the part of me that associates pampering with junk food, that this is ok.
Argh, and, sorry shooting stars, I'm not doing a good job of keeping within my calorie range so fat this week!
Tomorrow will be better.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FREES1 4/5/2012 1:48PM

    old habits are hard to break - especially the first encounter with the situation... its learning to enjoy part of the meal, some of the food, without having to have it all (and eating slowly can help - takes the brain about 20 minutes to realize what is in the tum tum!)
glad you treated yourself to the spa - enjoy it while you are there and come back and pick up where you left off...

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SHARON10002 4/3/2012 6:17PM

    Hope your body, ind, and spirit are all enjoying the spa. Remember to eat frequently, as healthy as you can, to help keep that hunger monster at bay.
Don't beat yourself up over it so that you can enjoy the rest of your visit!

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JOANNA202 4/3/2012 6:14PM

    Ah, that horrible, 'why did I have to make my stomach ache like that' feeling. It comes at you out of the blue (or at me last night after a mis-judged pizza) and then it's too late. I reckon it's not about having junk food with pampering, but about nice things which are now more of an indulgence than they used to be. It sounds like you were on the right track when you went into the restaurant - but pretty rubbish of them to help you look after the outside but not the inside properly!

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    A good reminder is never a bad thing...once in a while.

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OHMEMEME 4/2/2012 9:42PM

    Hang in Sunshine and #1 don't beat yourself up about it. I enjoy food and will always use it to celebrate some things sooo...just be aware and plan ahead as much as possible for the splurge. Think about it but don't over think it. One hamburger and chips does not equal a pound. Even cookies and chocolate on occasion will not sabotage you if you don't let it. Just don't let one thing lead to another and another's done. Get back on track. It's what you do over time that makes the difference. You can do this!

What kind of spa doesn't serve spa food...maybe a different place next time. Hope the massages were great.

Comment edited on: 4/2/2012 9:45:42 PM

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    I'm leaving for vacation tomorrow night and I'm TERRIFIED I'll be off track the whole time! I know how you feel. I do have motivation though - the Gold's Gym Challenge weigh in is the Monday after I come back! Hang in there and do better tomorrow. Hugs!

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Happy to be back with the Shooting Stars!!

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I have missed being accountable to a group when it comes to exercising. I hadn't realized how much it helps me to do a bit of exercise each day when I know it's leading towards a greater goal. Even if it is an imaginary destination, this group effort is really helpful for me and I think will get me doing all the extra exercise I had intended on doing, but just not got round to doing!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FREES1 3/22/2012 9:40AM

    Its great to have you back with the Shooting Stars as well - I enjoy the team spirit and learning about new places, even though the travel is imaginary! Love the photo on your page...

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DAVEYSHADOW 3/21/2012 5:23PM

    Hi from a UK emoticon

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    Great job! Keep it up! :)

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FIVELILACS 3/20/2012 10:04PM

    It is great to have you as a teammate. I, too, really appreciate the accountability that comes from being part of a team when we REALLY need each other to meet a common goal and individual goals. My best to you!!!!

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MFLYNN8 3/20/2012 8:03PM

    Great to hear I'm not the only one! emoticon

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ANATASHIKI 3/20/2012 7:07PM

    lol , I'm glad it works for you ! it doesn't matter to me but I just like to be in an active team

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SANDRALUVSLON 3/20/2012 7:03PM

    I agree. I find posting daily helps with everything.

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6 months with sparkpeople - reflection time!!

Saturday, March 03, 2012

This is a special marker for me because I spent three months reaching my goal weight and have now spent three months in maintenance mode. I have still lost weight whilst maintaining, but much more slowly. These last three months have felt more like my body has been making its' mind up about what feels right. I think my mind has been doing exactly the same thing!!

I've jotted down a few paragraphs because my thoughts about the last 6 months are quite hard to pin down into something cohesive. These are just some things that I've noticed about my life now that I wanted to share.

I have to start here because this is where it began! I eat less now. I still eat everything that I love and I still absolutely love eating, but in much smaller portions. I have also developed a great love for fruit. I now find that I will gladly choose chopped mango slices over a cookie or cake. That still surprises me. I have also found that I love the idea of a food budget - it works for me. Do I have enough in my budget for this packet of crisps/ If I eat this cookie now, will I be able to eat my evening treat later? Sometimes, just spending time looking at all the calories in various slabs of chocolate at the store is all I need to decide that, actually, i don't want it after all. Calorie counting has taught me to stop and think before I eat.

This afternoon I shaved another minute off my 5km jogging time. When I started sparking I was suffering from a painful leg injury - an injured IT band - and had been told to stop jogging altogether by my doctor and begin working on strength training instead. The articles on sparkpeople, plus excellent guidance from my doctor have enabled me to be able to jog now pain free and it is such a pleasure to have that back again.I'm still not running the 10km races that I was running before the injury, but I am confident that I will be back at it by the end of the year pain free!
I used to exercise so that I could eat more food. Now that seems to have switched around. I eat food so that I can exercise better - another amazing mind switch for me that happened without me really realizing.
The spark programme doesn't increase your calorie intake on days that you have exercised. It seems to encourage an average calorie range based on how much you exercise a week. This has helped me to turn exercise into something regular and has also helped me to see exercise as being a part of my life rather than an excuse to eat an extra piece of pie!

This is probably the greatest gift a person losing weight can give to themselves. We want everything yesterday, but taking time to nurture good habits helps to solidify them and also helps our minds to get used to the idea of change. Patience leads to forgiveness for the days when I ate too much chocolate, or went over my calorie limit, or was too tired to exercise. It was ok, because there was the next day, and the day after that where I would be able to make healthier choices.

This one has taken a while. At first the new image of me in the mirror was quite foreign and I was not too sure if I felt comfortable with this new 'skinny me'. I now find myself feeling happy with the way I look and identifying the person I see in the mirror as the person that I have always wanted to be. That thought - that really all I have ever wanted to be is me - fills me with such happiness and delight.

Not just of what I eat, but of the world around me. Suddenly I'm paying attention to life and to what I want from it.

Decision making
It certainly started with 'do I want to the fruit box or the muffin' when ordering food at Starbucks, but now this type of questioning is moving into choices I make at work, in relationships and at home.

Spreading the Spark
My husband has now lost twenty pounds. In my valentines card this year, he described me as his inspiration. Sharing a healthier lifestyle is great. It's nice that we are both now more conscious of what we eat and I think it will help to make this a permanent change in our lives. I was having a chat with a fellow colleague at work who told me she had started counting calories too - she called me her inspiration! If that's not motivation to keep the weight off, then I don't know what is!

Reaching my goal weight was anything but a full stop. It is turning into the longest sentence in the world! I wouldn't even call it a new chapter or a new paragraph, because it certainly is a continuation - I haven't stopped sparking and don't think I will for a long time. It has opened my eyes to a world of potential, of what could be, and I'm rather excited about that......

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOANNA202 3/4/2012 4:47PM

    What a wonderful blog! You sound really happy and settled in yourself, even if this is just a marker in the road. And so wonderful to be an inspiration to those around you - that shouldn't just be a reason for you to keep going, but to give yourself a great, shining pat on the back too :-)

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    GREAT blog! I have figured out many of the same things you have. Congrats!

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NANT406 3/3/2012 5:12PM

    Great insite. Thanks for sharing. You are an inspiration. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Out with the old.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

On Friday night I staged a bit of a fashion parade. I emptied all my clothes out onto the bed and began trying them on, one by one. I had asked my DH if he would mind being my second eyes because I knew that there would be some outfits I was emotionally attached to, but that perhaps weren't fitting properly any more.

So began about an hour and half's worth of working through memories and learning about how I dress. I have clothes that span my adult life and it was interesting to try on the older clothes that fit me perfectly now (because I was skinnier then) and compare it with the clothes from the last four years or so that were just too big. I learned that when by body was larger, I bought clothes that just hung over me - my body had enough shape to not need any tailoring. Now, those clothes just hang. As my DH said,' they do nothing for your figure.' (Now, I would not have thought about it like that as I've never thought about having a figure before - this is why having someone around to help is good. Especially when they know you well and have seen you in all your shapes and sizes.)

Other clothes, the more expensive ones that I was hoping to still hold onto, got the comment 'they looked good when you fitted into them properly, but now they just make you look larger than you actually are'. Hmmmm. So, I created a 'tailor' pile, hoping that some of these items might be able to be taken in a bit.

Then there were the clothes I had bought in the hope that 'one day' they would fit. These were the most rewarding outfits to try on. Almost like a gift from my past self to my current self saying, 'I knew you could do it'.

In the time it would take to watch a movie, I learned that now I needed to look for more tailored outfits - especially tailored tops. I also found it fascinating how some of my clothes were able to adapt to my new figure (they looked different, but still looked good), whilst others had lost all the appeal that they had once had.

In a funny way, I also had a chance to process the memories that go with some outfits, and feel okay about letting the outfits go. I felt that, though the memories were sweet, I was ready to create new memories in outfits that were who I am now, rather than who I was. That was the most special part of the evening. That, and a slightly deeper understanding between my DH and I about what this weight loss has meant.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    What a wonderful way to spend a Sunday afternoon. You sorted, cleansed, healed and bonded. It is especially fun to find something from our "I was hoping one day it would fit" pile that does NOW fit. As you said, like a gift from yourself from Body past. I loved your blog today.

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JOANNA202 2/19/2012 3:25PM

    Sounds like he was extremely helpful and gave some proper perspective for you. Sounds like a wonderful way to spend an evening, very gratifying. And you've got a great canvas for making some beautiful memories now.

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    That is WONDERFUL! I did that last year when I had lost the 40 pounds and had a ton of summer stuff that was way too big. The stuff that I loved that looked good when I was bigger just hung off of me. I laughed! It was funny and also awesome at the same time. It felt GREAT to get rid of everything that didn't fit. Congrats! :)

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Denial vs acceptance

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Last Friday I went and bought a brand new pair of trousers. My current pair of 'work' trousers has been falling off me for about two months and I felt it was time to take the plunge and commit to my new figure by buying clothes for it.
I've been nervous, you see. I've been wondering how long this 'new weight' will last and not wanting to go and buy new clothes because 'I won't be able to wear them for long'.
However, it's been 9 weeks now. And i haven't gained any weight (I'm actually still struggling to keep my weight stable) and ...... my trousers are falling off me.
So, I went to the store, walked around a lot, until eventually a shop assistant came and asked me if I needed help. He guided me to the 'black bootleg trouser' area (these are not in fashion, but I know what works for my short legs and skinny jeans don't!!) and then towards the changing room.
I took a size 10 and 8 with me (American size 6 and 4) knowing that I was now about two sizes smaller than before. Imagine my surprise when it was the size 8 that I ended up buying! (Me, a size 8??)
I got home that night and showed the trousers to my husband explaining how strange it felt to be a size 8 and how worried I was I was going to gain weight back again. He then went and cut off the tags with the size on the trousers and attached to one of our wedding pictures, saying, well, you're not planning on gaining the weight back, are you? (To which I said 'no') and then he said, 'well, that's ok, then'.
Now I have a subtle reminder of my new size - at least when it comes to my waist and hips. I went clothes shopping again today and left with a size ten blouse (the size that I thought only belonged to skinny people, the size I never believed I would be) after trying on more size 8 skirts and size 10 dresses - confirming once again to my 'in denial' mind that, yes, I'm one of those skinny people now. Yes, it's true.
I think my body has gone through the metamorphosis, but my mind is still seeing me as overweight person I have always been. Other people can see the changes, but I can't see them quite as clearly. (To the point that I'm wondering if they've increased the sizes of clothes over the last two months!!)
After two days spent shopping, I now realize that I need a bit of a mind make over to help me see the new figure that I have and get used to the idea of it - budget allowing. I also think I need to throw away my larger clothes - not store them some place 'for when i need them again'.

It must have something to do with me being out of a comfort zone - I'm in a better zone, just not the one I'm used to. I knew what looked good in my bustier rounder figure - those clothes don't look good anymore (It's so weird to try on clothes and not have my breasts pop out within seconds!). Now, just like with changing my eating habits and choices, I'm needing to learn new dressing habits, and, oddly enough, a new way of relating to the world around me. Other people are seeing me differently - I think I need to see myself in that new light too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

4A-HEALTHY-BMI 2/16/2012 6:24PM

    I can relate to this - I was just recently thinking about how annoyed I was trying on dresses at the mall for my nephew's upcoming wedding. And I realized that my criteria for what I think looks good have changed. I'm still just about equally frustrated, but in a different way from how I used to be.

My pre-loss criteria at my high weight were that
1) the item actually GO ON, and
2) that it be not completely unflattering.

My current criteria are that
1) the bust, waist, hips all fit comfortably; neither baggy nor tight, and at the right place on my body
2) that the clothes flatter me

I'm pickier now, as it turns out, and that makes clothes shopping just about as frustrating as it ever was. In some ways more frustrating because I was content before with stuff that might be too baggy or have to stretch some, as long as it went on at all.

It takes a lot longer to change our minds than our bodies. Body image dysmorphia is real! LOL

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    Our mind continues to play tricks on us. When we are heavy, we don't really see that but then when the weight is lost, we can't see that either.

What a great accomplishment for you. This new you is the forever you.

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    Awesome! It really does take a while to get used to your smaller you. I've been on a plateau for 6 months (recently broke through finally!) and it took a long time but now I've gotten used to being the size I am. And ready to lose more. Only 10 more pounds to my goal. Hang in there and DEFINITELY get rid of those old clothes! They don't fit!

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JOANNA202 2/15/2012 5:38PM

    I'm slightly freaked out by this blog because these are the exact same thoughts I've been having for the last couple of days! There are times when my new size 10s are too loose but in my mind only kids and very skinny people are size 8. Turns out, fit healthy grown ups are too!

I do think it's best to chuck out the old clothes though because then if the new ones start to feel tight you'll recognise it and do something about it. If the bigger clothes are hanging in the wardrobe you'll be more tempted to just chuck those on and say you'll get round to doing something eventually (I say all this with my size 12s still in my wardrobe!)

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