Tuesday, August 28, 2012
You really never know exactly what a day will bring. Or how you will react to it.
I knew my Mom was dying, and had been preparing myself for that finality for a while. And for the most part, I prepared well. I did much of my crying and real mourning long ago, one a shopping spree day or at a dinner table without Mom, or when I would continue some research in genealogy and come across the records of her life and times.
I've navigated the formalities pretty well. I took my regular Zumba class the evening after Mom passed, and with help from my family and friends, including you Spark Friends, I made the decisions about the viewing and interment and so on, and was able to be calm.
This week, all of that hubbub has past, though. I did not feel at all like Zumba, yesterday. (Fortunately, fate intervened, and the instructor announced that she'd gotten sick and would not be holding class!). I've done maybe one running workout lately, and felt kind of yucky then. I've been reluctant to cook at home (although normally I love to make meals at home). Today, I simply felt exhausted, although I had had a normal night's sleep.
I got a nice solid nap though. I've paid a couple of bills, and started to think about the aftermath, about the reconciliation of Mom's finances and her estate business. I know I need to get back to normal on Spark and I know that working out and eating better makes me feel better, too. It's just a matter now of doing it.
I wouldn't have expected that the relief I felt that Mom is now at peace and that the bad times are over, would have left me feeling quite this kind of melancholy. But that's how life is, I guess. It sneaks up on us and gives us experiences we wouldn't have expected, all while we think that we're sailing along and in control!
Well here I am, I must really be a grown up now. I think a part of us never really believes that our mothers and fathers will one day die. I think that a part of me always held some fantastical dream that I'd wake up and it would be a bad dream, and that Mom would be back in the midst of all the fun and the chaos that is daily life.
Love your Mom, and cherish the time together!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Thank you all who have messaged, and posted on my blog, and sent little gifts and notes on my Mom's passing. I SO appreciate it. I am an only child from a small family, so, aside from my wonderful husband's relatives, there are few who can share my loss. I do genealogy (family history) as a hobby, but that makes me realize that I'm the ending of a family branch. That makes me sad, but I know Mom is relieved of her pain now and that makes me glad, too. Thank you all, again! Thanks for being here to help me want to keep caring for myself and my family through a bit of crazy days!
Monday, August 20, 2012
that was my beautiful best friend, my Mom, back in the day.
Mom had been in a nursing care facility for years now, with dementia. She passed away last night, late at night.
I lost you long ago Mom. I missed you ever since. I miss you more now. Rest in sweet peace, love.
Saturday, August 18, 2012
So my little first digital camera, a Sony Cybershot, has quit reading its memory sticks, and after dealing with using only the tiny internal memory a while, I shopped around and decided to get a new point-and-shoot.
I knew there are a lot of digital camera choices out there, but you never realize just how many is a lot, until you start to try to choose one! I found one inexpensive Canon that actually still had a dedicated viewfinder in addition to the LCD panel, but eventually decided that camera was a bit too basic, otherwise, for me now. (Also found a couple of high end cameras to love, which have traditional viewfinders too!).
I read some reviews and most said that a lot of the less expensive Canon (as well as other makes) have slower shutter lag than a couple other makes. I have been frustrated by shutter lag in my little camera which doesn't have the image stabilization or any face technology.
So I managed to make a choice, and when I added it to my basket it turned out it cost the same as the very basic Canon. I am looking forward to having a good new camera to tote around and more incentive to do more picture-taking.
I figure putting this out here will help me live up to the goal of doing more with my camera!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
Yep, after the conference last weekend, I woke up one morning later in the week and just felt a tiny bit blah. It was a workout day and so I ran my C25K session just fine. Didn't feel more tired than usual from it afterward although I think maybe I was just a bit less energetic during the run.
Now it's THIS weekend, and I thought I had beaten whatever it was, but I'm again just feeling lethargic, a bit of throat irritation, and some stuffiness in my head.
I'm pretty much taking it easy, physically. I have been drinking tons of fluids, mostly water. I bought a bag of clementines the other day so I've been eating them often. And taking my regular multi vitamins (LifePak Nano, pretty broad-spectrum) and a big dose of C every couple hours. I guess I should go ahead and get out the Zicam.
Do you have a favorite home remedy that you love when you start to feel a cold coming on?
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