SUNNYBEACHGIRL   39,327
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A Change in View

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Before I turned 50, I could eat anything and as much as I wanted. Bread, pasta, meat, Chinese food, Mexican food, Italian food, barbecue and picnic food were on my list along with pie and croissants. I was active and exercised each morning before starting work. Then came the opportunity for a promotion to a high level but stressful job. And back to school to finish another degree to insure advancement to the next level up when the opportunity arrived. The degree came with 35 pounds. At the end of the degree off to Weight Watchers and after two years, 30 pounds came off. A lot of work in a good way, but the next promotion came and 3 years later the 30 pounds were back with a few more. The work was rewarding but the stress and lack of time really took its toll. A few more years down the road and it was time to step away from the stressful job and change direction. Back to Weight Watchers and again another 30 pounds lost. Then without even being aware, 5 years later I was looking at the scale with the 35 pounds back yet again.

It is clear that I am really good at gaining weight and fairly good at losing it for a time
I was not ready to make a commitment to Weight Watchers but needed something. So I joined Spark People and by working with the system I lost 20 pounds. This is good but not enough.
Although I am really good at counting calories, know how to measure accurately and eat a lot of vegetables the weight remains stuck for the last 12 months.

I have really had time to look at my food issues. There are wonderful words of encouragement in the articles and the life stores. There is a lot of really helpful information separating out myth from fact in the forums, blogs and articles. But after all the reading and calorie counting and food journaling, I have come to a new view of food and diets. I will be on a Constant DIET every day for the rest of my life. That is if I want to be at a healthy weight for me.

The name of the Diet does not matter or the balance of different types of food I eat each day, what matters is that I eat small amounts of food at each meal. After watching my weight fluctuate, up 9 pounds after Christmas and down 5 pounds after weeks of really watching what I eat each day, I have come to an understanding about food for me. I use the Spark menus for Low Cholesterol to make sure I get the right amounts of protein, carbohydrates and fats each day.

The food must be very low in fat (NO Full Fat Dairy ever), low in sugar (Cheesecake is OUT), no Red meat (steaks are a food of the past) and very moderate amounts of skinless chicken and lean pork. White fish which is lower in fat is best and sashimi is good but hold the rice. Green, yellow and red vegetables are good while anything white (except cauliflower) or starchy (corn) is out! Moderate amounts of fresh fruit each day are good but no sugar and definitely no high fructose corn syrup. Dense, low sugar whole grain bread is in anything else is out of limits. A certain amount of olive oil each day is ok, but not too much. Anything fried is on the black list along with my very favorite lasagna. I only read Chinese menus now and order salads at the Italian restaurant. Enchiladas are on the black list, and at Mexican restaurants I eat basic chicken street soft tacos. Occasionally at Christmas, I splurge and eat handmade tamales.

Starches of any kind are to be avoided unless they are whole grains, like quinoa, and even then only in measured amounts. White rice should be avoided at all times, mashed potatoes made with butter are never to be on the plate and fried potatoes are only in my dreams. Plain baked sweet potatoes are good.

I hear you say “rearrange what you eat in a day to accommodate something like spaghetti and meatballs”. It does not work for me at this age of 65. A cup of pasta is the right amount but it is not very satisfying and the scale goes up a pound the next day. If I eat a whole dinner at a restaurant—salad, bread, entrée and wine—even in moderate amounts the weight goes up 3 pounds and hangs around for several days. If I eat out two days in a row, it takes a good week for the weight to come down. The holidays are always really hard and last year we all had colds and the flu. Our will power to resist the high fat treats and high calorie meals went out the window. It took three months to lose the 9 pounds.

I hear you say “increase your activity, that will help”. Sorry it just doesn’t do it. At this age, it is important to stay active, be flexible, work on your balance and get the right amount of nutrients. But somehow for me, the weight does not stay off unless I write down what I eat and eat small amounts of food on the list. I do not eat late in the evening, really avoid meat and have many more vegetarian meals during the week.

During my life I have enjoyed a lot of wonderful food in restaurants large and small, grungy and posh, eaten great meals at homes of friends and cooked wonderful dinners myself. But the Change in View for me is that food intake has to be managed every day, every meal. I am again within 8 pounds of the weight that makes me feel good and is healthy for me. In order to keep the 30 pounds at bay, it takes being on the Constant Diet, exercising some each day, and not allowing stress to be an excuse to eat. I have been on the weight-gain/weight-loss road too many times in the last 15 years. I will not do this again.

I read a Spark article on intrinsic motivation and it really helped me to connect into the inside person who wants to stay healthy at a good weight. http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/motiva
tion_articles.asp?id=657

I have changed my View of my relationship to food.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 6/18/2013 9:04PM

    At some point we learn what works for us and we have to knuckle under and follow. It sounds like you have arrived at that point.

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Laughing does make me better

Friday, April 26, 2013

Traveling far or near is one of my favorite things to do. To see friends, family, trees, historical sites or just to get away from the everyday life. It has become apparent that the whole going away process stresses me out more than it used to do a few years ago. I worry about the water, fires and dying plants. My most recent worry addition is someone breaking into the house and stealing my computer. So I now put some electronics away in less obvious place and have taken to putting my small box of jewelry in a hidden place. It would probably work just fine if I picked one spot and always put the items there. However, I keep thinking of better places and that would be ok except I now find that I cannot always remember the New Special place. Three trips ago I put the little jewelry box in such a good place, I couldn’t find it and I couldn’t remember where was the newest special place. I cleaned out shelves and drawers, opened every box and did a nice job of straitening up, but no little box. It is small problems like this that nag at me, increase my anxiety and make me feel like I am losing my mind. I didn’t say anything to anyone because I was also embarrassed.

Then the other day at a party, I was listening to a women describe how she hid her Kindle in her house while she was gone for a few days. Now she can’t find it and she wants to finish the book she started. She laughed!! Certain that she will find it and not being afraid to admit that sometimes the synapses just don’t spark.

Listening to her helped me to get over my embarrassment and realize that I did not have a large or unique problem. Getting older is a process and it is better to acknowledge the lapses and take steps to help minimize the problems. Laughing at my lapses will help reduce down my anxiety even if it doesn't solve the problem.

And guess what? I found the jewelry box; it was in a good hiding place. But I am writing a note of where it is. Now I just have to make sure to remember where I wrote the note.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 4/27/2013 10:07PM

    I have done the same thing. It is fairly common. LOL.

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So...NO MORE EXCUSES! I've done this before I can do it again.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

I read the title of this blog on another blog and it just was so familiar. This has been a 3rd time journey to lose 30 pounds over the past 15 years. Yes I have done the losing again but I wish I could do the keep off better. I have done Weight Watchers twice and decided to do SparkPeople this time. I will get the weight off but keeping it off is the hard part. Maybe SparkPeople will help. I know some of the reasons the weight comes back but the main one is that I get stressed, feel sorry for myself and then indulge in the high calorie fat filled foods that I crave. Right now the changes going on in my life are making me feel depressed. The non-profit is moving along and although there is a place for me, the work is not making me happy. So I will probably not return after my current commitment. Then what to do is the next question? Part of this is to get out and talk with people to find another group to join. But this time I am spending more time to look at what makes me happy and what that looks like. But finding that has a lot to do with looking inward and really figuring out more about myself. I should be happier, my family cares about me, I don’t really have financial issues, my health is good and I have friends. Maybe I just need to look at the positive and focus on that part of my life.

I just know that although the “I can do it again” looks at losing weight, it also applies to gaining it. So no more excuses, this time I will face the internal reasons. And eat appropriately everyday.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 2/28/2013 5:18PM

    Stress is my down fall as well.

Good luck with your plan. It sounds like you are very committed to it and in a good place as far as that goes right now.

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RAWCOOKIE 2/28/2013 11:24AM

    I am sorry your are feeling depressed about work and stuff. You are right to look to fill your life with things that make you feel happy. I get depressed when I am overwhelmed with stuff that needs doing - and feel better when I make progress on them. I am finding jogging is really helping my mood considerably - gives me a sense of achievement and well-being I suppose. I have lost 20lbs and put 10lbs back on in the last 18 months or so - it's like our sub-conscious pulls us back to a comfortable place again - where we are not glorious or radiantly happy, but 'safe'!?
You can work it out!
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Not another Change

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Changes bring opportunities along with the anxiety of the unknown. I like the volunteer work I do for a small non-profit arts group. But the last year the work took a lot more time than I wanted to give because some of the older (I mean over 78 but very lively and bright) members decided to make changes in their lives. Some moved closer to their children, several had health issues which slowed them down and a few decided to scale back their commitments. There were not enough new volunteers to cover the hours and several of us just stepped up. Then the director (of six years) decided to move to a new job at the end of 2012. A new director was hired and I just wasn’t sure I wanted to adjust to a new person. I was anxious about changes and even after all these years, if she would want me to stay.

The beginning was a little awkward for all of us, a few people left but I stayed. Now after a month of working with her, I find that I like her style. It is important to let go of “the way we have always done it” and embrace new. The reorganization of tasks will make it easier on those of us who are there and she has some good ideas on how to make the operations work better. So the anxiety has gone away and I am glad I stayed.

This made me think of how change is important when dealing with health issues and nutrition. Making changes is hard but you just have to stick with it. Eating low fat cheese instead of full fat, reducing the amount of meat I eat each day by adding in legumes, increasing the amount of fruits and vegetables each day and writing down what I eat have all helped me to change to a lower weight. It wasn’t easy because “that’s not the way I like it” but I am feeling better and looking better.

The holidays were difficult because of the parties and celebrations and the flu but I logged in everyday, even if I didn’t record the food I ate. I gained a few pounds but I am confident that they will go away. This is a change in my approach to weight gain which is good change.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MORTICIAADDAMS 1/11/2013 4:20PM

    Sounds like you are making really good decisions in every area of your life.

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It all seems so fragile

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

The memories of christmas of my younger days are of a large number of assorted relatives getting together in loud boisterous groups. Smashed together in small houses with lots of food and cold winter weather. Now the holiday get togethers are small with polite adults eating fewer rich dishes and drinking a lot less alcohol. The connections between many of the family have either been broken by death, moves to cities far away, changes in interests that make conversations awkward, divorces or just getting older. The connections seem so fragile and each year seem to decrease so that it is memories of people that christmas brings back to me. I make some phone calls just to hear voices to help me keep the past alive with people who are special. Then the people who are very close arrive for dinner and I am happy in my present connections and grateful they are in my life. The memories slip away into the shadows of christmas and wait to be revived again next year.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAT-IN-CJ 12/25/2012 4:18PM

    Yes Christmas brings back so many memories. So much loss, so little remains the same. Even values we once held dear.

It seems a lot the "good ol' days" can be chalked up to "euphoric recall". Nothing was as perfect as the memories. But yet they remain.

This year, due to splinters and conflicts within the family that can't seem to be resolved without bloodshed, we decided to remove ourselves from the stress. This has been without doubt the most peaceful Christmas we've ever had. It's given us the opportunity to cherish the memories of loved ones no longer with us and look with hope towards a brighter new year.

Let's make 2013 our best year yet!
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MORTICIAADDAMS 12/25/2012 4:00PM

    I think many of us can relate to everything you said. I know I can.

Merry Christmas to you!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WEARINGTHIN 12/25/2012 5:26AM

    Very poetic. Glenn

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