Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Is to stop quitting. True words. And I need to really take them to heart. I have had a very difficult winter, with family issues and health issues and I have gotten totally out of control with my eating, in particular the sugar issue. I have gained weight, my fibro is flaring and my blood sugars are too high. This is not a good place to be. It just seems so hard to have to think about every single thing I put in my mouth, when the easiest thing to do is grab something quick and not necessarily good for me. Sigh. And exercise.....gah. I hate formal exercise. I like to be active, but lately it's been hard because of the crippling fatigue. I have sick for three weeks with a cold, and I have fluid built up in my inner ear making me miserable. I can hear myself talk, I can hear my heart beat inside my head...it's like a really bad Edgar Allan Poe poem. I am so tired of being so tired.
Okay enough whining. I am going to start this again. I was doing really well before Christmas, I can do it again. I have to. I am heading for a lifetime of chronic illness which I am in the position of being able to control. Only me.
The amount of self discipline I need to take care of myself is overwhelming.
Anyway, onward and upward (or downward as regards to weight loss).
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
I realized the other day that, even though I haven't lost any weight, and it's a constant struggle to tame the sugar demon, and I am fatigued, and the world is heading towards disaster, I am still feeling pretty happy with my life. I feel like I am taking control of the things I can control and letting the rest of it go. I can't change the world, but I can change MY part of it, by making the others around me happy and by being a person that is nice to be around. I have SO much to be grateful for...good friends, healhty kids and grandkids, a partner, roof over my head, food enough to eat..the list goes on. Paula is working really hard on being more positive as well and it's made a huge difference in our relationship.
Today I am spending the day at home...one of my favourite things to do. I am very active in my faith community, and with friends and often burn myself out being social..I am what is called a "gregarious introvert" which means I can be very social, but I need my down time to recharge. And I am trying VERY hard not to waste my day on the computer. I have made myself a to do list. And I plan on completing everything on the list.
After I take a lunch break and play my computer games .....
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
Yesterday I was in the mood for some potato chips. Well...I was really in the mood for a chocolate bar, but because baked potato chips are on my meal plan I decided to go with that. I wasn't home, so I went in the store and I started looking at the labels on the potato chips, because honestly, baked chips are gross. And I was SO surprised to find that Miss Vickies chips were better than the Baked Lays. And more chips/serving. Now, I only track carbs and sugars so if you are tracking sodium, this might not be true for you. My point is, read the labels...healhty is not always better, sometimes it is just a marketing ploy.
My allowing myself to eat what I want on the weekends, within reason, is not a good one it seems as it was really hard to get back on track on Monday. I tried to eat intuitively and to finish up the perishable leftovers from the previous week. My intuition is a bit askew though, seems I intuitively want sweets. So, back to the drawing board.
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Yesterday was the first day I followed the Meal Plan. It does require some planning and it's a bit of a hassle to have to measure everything and actually prepare a meal, just for me. But I tried the Pinto Bean Rice Salsa Salad with Cheese, and I really liked it! It was delicious and well worth the effort. I am going to have to pay more attention to my choices to make sure I use the ingredients I have left over though. There is a lot of fresh food in my fridge!
Yesterday I was away from home for lunch, but I had a veggie wrap and a bottle of water, so that was good. But last night we went out to the movies...ordered a Diet Coke, I only drink diet pop at the movies because I hate Dasani water which is what they sell, but I bought a bag of Malteesers and ate the whole thing. Oh well today is another day...baby steps right?
Yesterday I bowled. Today I will do some walking.
I have eliminated a lot of foods because they make me bloated, but I am hoping that smaller portions of these foods will be okay. If not I will have to do a lot of substitutions.
It's kind of fun, like a puzzle, figuring it all out.
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
So, after tracking my food for a couple of weeks and finding myself consistently over calories and under protein, I realize it's time to put the control of what I eat outside of my own self sabotaging head. I have switched to following the Meal Plans provided here on SparkPeople. I just can't do this alone, I always seem to choose fast and easy. Hmmm..seems to be a theme in my life....but anyway I digress.
I have always thought it would be cool if someone just told me what to eat every day and I would just do that. So with that in mind the Meal Plans are perfect. It meant a huge overhaul of what I have in the house and what I need to have in order to follow the plan. And I had to do some tweaking of the plans offerings to fit my dietary restrictions...it accounts for the diabetes, but not the gluten free. But it was kind of fun, because the plan offers substitutions. So I can have some degree of choice without blowing the calories.
I have my groceries delivered to my home and today is the day for all the healthy stuff to arrive and I am excited. I also cleared a big space in my living room so I can use my WiiFit.
Last week was a wash out. With a fibromyalgia flare raging through my body the last thing I wanted to do was watch my food. Although I should have because that might have helped. The sugar cravings were cocaine addict intense! And I realized something. While I haven't had my period since 1997, I think I may still have PMS since I still have ovaries. And there is a pattern...cravings for carbs and sugar skyrocket, fatigue and irritability increase, and my brain is a muddle..even more than it is with a fibro fog....and that lasts about 4 days and then I have a day of peeing every hour or so, and then I am fine. I suspect the peeing is my body letting go of the water retention. Anyway, I am going to track these symptoms and since if they occur once/month. At any rate, this pattern is either hormonal, or fibro related. Who knows.
Trying to get fit and healthy is making me feel sort of selfish. I really have to spend a lot of time thinking about ME and what I am going to eat or do. This is uncomfortable for me. And to be assertive about it is even more uncomfortable, I am a pleaser and I don't like to be a wet blanket, or someone who is a lot of trouble to feed. So, some head work to do here.
(me enjoying my new meal plan meal)
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