SUEJENN   30,493
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SUEJENN's Recent Blog Entries

the game dinner

Saturday, February 22, 2014

My husband and some of his friends, his brother and my son and daughter go hunting every fall. We decided to have a 'game dinner' this year and invite all the hunt participants to come for dinner and eat game. My husband and I went out for coffee about a week ago and sat down and made a calendar so we would get all the prep organized and set in motion. We planned everything from counting glasses to setting the table and what food prep and shopping would be done on what day. We planned this so it would keep us on track and well organized to reduce stress and anxiety. Everything went well. Later that evening my husband says to me," I think I will cook pheasant and serve it with rice!" My jaw dropped. "Is it on the list?" I asked him. He looked at me like he didn't understand. I said,"We made a calendar and list to make sure everything went smoothly. If it is not on the list, it isn't happening." "Oh, ya, right," he says.
So one day I made venison bourguignon, another venison meatballs with mustard sauce, venison and garlic sausage meatloaf with raisin sauce. Yesterday my daughter in law helped me to make a lemon dessert and we finished prepping the broccoli and boiled raisin cake. It has been a very busy week. Last night my husband says," I think I will make a pineapple upsidedown cake in the morning." OMG!!!!
Anyway, 12 people came for dinner. We have enough leftovers to feed another 12 people! I am very tired and ready for bed.

Yesterday I worked out at the gym with my trainer. I felt really well and had lots of energy for a change. She asked me how I was doing with the leg exercises we did the last time. I foolishly told her that I was doing well. My legs weren't sore at all. Well didn't she find a way to remedy that situation! I am sore all over today. And I had a blast, too!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLIMMERJESSE 2/23/2014 9:47AM

    How nice that your dinner went well and was enjoyable. Have a restful day.

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that old pathway

Saturday, February 01, 2014

Very gradually I have noticed that I have been caregiving again. It slides into the brain without a hint of what is to come. A little bit more energy and I start to "do" things.
1. I have a food plan from the nutritionist that is very simple but I have managed to create extra work by supplementing it for my husband
2. I make additional food for his lunches
3. I am tidying up from the mess others leave
4. when you start doing stuff like this you also start to have expectations concerning how others will behave
5. I have become very busy leaving little time for taking care of myself
6. I have been staying up late.
As a result I have become a little moody (lie, a lot moody) I am not rested and I resent all the extra effort.
SO................. I have made a decision. TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!
Leave the prep for my husband. He eats what I eat or he gets it himself.
Accept that I am a care giver at heart but tell myself that the people around me are adults and they are responsible for themselves. Trying to look for approval by taking care of someone is non productive and hurtful.

I have started to use my fitbit. It is difficult to keep my steps up with this wonderful weather so I am going to go to the gym just to walk. This will be on top of my regular schedule, kickboxing on Monday evening, Abs on Wednesday am and upper and lower body on Friday with another 20 minutes of kickboxing. A few days a week I also follow a yoga program for beginners.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Impressive! Yes, we caregivers have a habit of avoiding caring for ourselves, give too much to others, and then feel resentment because no kudos in return.

Lots I can say about this pattern since it was one I recognized (and still do) for myself. The rift in my family came when I said no more! They still don't get it! LOL

Part of this for me is thinking others won't love me unless I DO for them. And, that is true when others truly only care for what you do for them.

Another issue is that I'm avoiding and using others to do so. I need to face my demons head on, which I am. Other's can be a distraction. I can't allow that to happen.

If it isn't even-steven with the relationship, it is not for me.

My clients PAY me for what I do for them. My friends and family do not. I know that's a bit cold, but I do need to support myself. LOL

Hugs and great blog!


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WALNUT5612 2/5/2014 5:59AM


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    Kickboxing sounds like fun!

You know, I've never thought about the fact that this urge to take care of others may feed into having specific expectations about how they will behave. I feel like this is something I struggle with, so it's interesting to think about it in this way.

Taking care of yourself sounds like a good plan. :) I hope its execution isn't too hard!!

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TINAROG1 2/2/2014 8:15PM

    Good job...stopping and thinking about what you need.

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MOM2ACAT 2/2/2014 3:25PM

    A good decision!

I have noticed that when I stay up too late at night for too many days in a row, it really has a negative effect on me during my daytime hours. It's amazing how much better I feel and how much more productive I am when I stick to a consistent and reasonable bedtime.

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SUGARBABY60 2/1/2014 8:12PM

    Smart lady! Stick to your guns, your health is worth it.

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A busy month

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Well, a lot has been happening.
We had a very quiet Christmas. My daughter and her husband went to her husband's grandmother's for dinner. SO my son and his girl;friend spent the day and dinner with us. Of course I had another sinus infection by this time. Lucky me!
A week or so before Christmas I had to take my Dad for a consult with a radiologist for the cancer on his head. He suggested radiation. 30 sessions! It would be like taking a two year old to have a treatment every day for 6 weeks. How do you do this when he can't remember where he is going for longer than two minutes? The radiologist gave us a referral to see a surgeon. We took Dad to see the surgeon about a week ago. I picked Dad up and we drove 40 minutes to the doctor's office. We got him inside and within 10 minutes he wanted to know where his hat was. He was getting out of there! We had to wait 45 minutes! We were with the doctor for about 10 minutes. He suggested surgery because it was one procedure and then it was all done. He asked me if Dad would be able to lie still for 1- 11/2 hours! ( He planned to do the surgery with a local!) Could he lie still for an hour? I explained to the doctor that dad couldn't wait 10 minutes in the waiting room! So we have decided on the sleep method. That means no food after midnight. They are allowing him 2 cups of cranberry/apple juice at 5 am. Surgery is at 12 noon. So wish me luck! I pick Dad up at 7:30 am tomorrow and head to the hospital 40 minutes away! We will be waiting three hours. I have a few ativan tablets in case he gets anxious or upset waiting.
On the day I picked Dad up a week before this I bent over to put his walker in the van and didn't I pull the muscles in my lower back. I could hardly move. I managed to get Dad to his appointment but I had to call my daughter to help me when I got there! I was away from the gym for about a month. Drugs, hot and cold therapy and massage. My first day back was for a boxing class! I am still tender and I am now doing yoga (a gentle stretching kind) to help stretch out and relax the muscles in the lower back. Slow and easy.
So I am off to bed so that I can get up at 6 am to go and get my Dad.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOM2ACAT 1/16/2014 5:59PM


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TINAROG1 1/16/2014 11:06AM

    Hope everything goes good for your dad!

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SLIMMERJESSE 1/16/2014 8:02AM

    Wishing you a wonderful new (not too new at this point) year.

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SUGARBABY60 1/16/2014 12:19AM

    Best wishes to you and your dad for a successful surgery.

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just an update

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Well a lot has been going on in the last few months. My last blog was at the beginning of October.
The last two weeks of October were spent helping my daughter get ready for her wedding. She got married on November the first. I continued to work with a nutritionist to help me with my energy levels. November brings me into my sixth month. I am very happy with the results. I don't have naps anywhere as often as I did before. I am back at the gym. Granted I am starting all over again and the nutritionist wants me to go slowly so I don't have cortisol dumping into my system. She doesn't count calories, fats and carbs. She is concerned with micronutrients and building my system back up. Blood glucose is kept very slow because of my cancer. I have lost 40 pounds and I can breath! My range of motion has improved as well. I have my last regular appointment on Monday and we will decide if the intensive program continues or I go to maintenance. Last week my Dad had a biopsy of a growth on his scalp. It turned out to be squamus cell carcinoma. The doctor recommended radiation. We have an appointment with a doctor at the cancer centre next week. I must admit I am a bit concerned about how a 90 year old with Alzheimer's is going to cope with this.
A month or so ago my daughter told me I was going to be a grandmother. I must say that I was excited and concerned at the same time. She is only 23. I adjusted just in time for her dating ultrasound. Unfortunately the dating didn't coincide with her calendar. Another ultrasound a week later determined that the fetus had died. She miscarried last week with less that stellar support from her new husband. She is back to work and she is very tired. It will be a while before she has a spark in her eyes again.
We are going out to the nursing home this Friday to share my Dad's favourite dinner, pot roast with mashed potatoes and gravy. Of course I will be following my meal plan, poached trout and a green vegetable! Yummy.
We have a lot on our table right now but I am able to cope with much less anxiety now.
Hopefully everything will flow along as it should and turn out OK. I will keep you updated.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUGARBABY60 1/16/2014 12:07AM

    Sue, I did read this but somehow is see I didn't post a comment.i appologise.
Sorry about the daughters miscarriage and everything else life has thrown your way recently.i see where you are feeling stronger that is a good thing. Take care.

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MOM2ACAT 12/12/2013 6:36PM

    I'm so sorry to hear about your dad, and your daughters miscarriage. emoticon

Congrats on the weight loss, and that is great to hear that you are breathing better!

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SLIMMERJESSE 12/12/2013 10:00AM

    You have a lot on your plate. Glad to hear of your own progress, but sad about your dad. And daughter's miscarriage. Sorry for all of you. It's really hard to lose a life, no matter at what stage. And sad very little support from her DH. Especially in times like this. Big hug.

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run for the cure 2013

Sunday, October 06, 2013

Had a grand time at the Run for the Cure race today. Best time 42 minutes!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEROYJL 7/13/2014 2:22PM

  emoticon It's wonderful that you raced for such a needed organization! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TINAROG1 10/8/2013 8:12PM

    Congratulations, Lady!!!
So glad you have so much support. What a wonderful son and daughter

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SUEJENN 10/7/2013 8:07PM

    In the group photo from the left:

Shane (my daughter's fiance) Jess (my daughter) Terri (my trainer and friend) me, Tom (my son) and Bekah (His girlfriend).
My son stayed by my side the whole time and he sprinted to the end with me! He said to me, "Mom, you never have to do this alone!"

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MOM2ACAT 10/7/2013 7:27PM

    emoticon Way to go! I am so proud of you, and I love the photos!

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SLIMMERJESSE 10/6/2013 5:40PM

    So proud of you, Sue! Congrats! (what a pretty daughter!)

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SUGARBABY60 10/6/2013 5:30PM

    Woo hoo great job! Fantastic time.
Loved the photos, you looked so " fashionable"! emoticon

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