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Pregnant at 50 update

Sunday, March 04, 2012

I recently blogged about my friend Jenna. Pregnant and being unable to decide the fate of her unborn child due to her age.Well,they decided to keep the baby and sadly lost it the very next day.She thinks that God is punishing her for not knowing what to do!I told her that she wasnt being punished.She is ok but very sad...Good news though...She is about to be a Grammy in September and she already began a neutral baby quilt...he taketh,he giveth!We are walking together tomorrow to get her in shape for chasing a baby around... emoticonSUSAN

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SUECHRIS50 3/4/2012 9:21PM

    All of you gave me some wonderful answers and I had her to read them.She was crying and hugging me and for the first time laughing and smiling in a long time.I love my sparkies!!!You all ROCK!!!

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RETIREDMAMA3 3/4/2012 7:59PM

    Just tell your friend that:
When God takes something from our grasp, he is not punishing us, but merely opening our hands to receive something better.

Tell her to enjoy that little bundle of joy which is to soon call her "Grammy".

And you are a super friend to worry so much about her. She is lucky to have a friend like you.

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TXGRANDMA 3/4/2012 6:47PM

    She should not worry about that. God has nothing to punish her FOR! She didn't end the pregnancy, God ended it. It is nature's way of getting rid of something that maybe wasn't quite right. Tell her not to worry.....
I lost a baby once, too, at 3 months along, which is the normal time to lose it......
So glad that she is going to be a Granny! She will be thrilled with that baby! emoticon

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FOXFIRENDTS 3/4/2012 6:07PM

    God does not punish, and he never gives us more then we can handle. It is always sad to loose a child, I lost 5 myself, perhaps God has other plans for you friend. God Bless.

Comment edited on: 3/4/2012 6:07:45 PM

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MARTHASPARKS 3/4/2012 5:56PM

    God doesn't punish us for making hard decisions or having difficulty doing that. Please help her understand that a miscarriage is God's way of making sure that not viable children aren't carried to term and then lost.

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SERAPHGYRL 3/4/2012 5:50PM

    I sure don't know if I would tell her this but, what if God gave them a decision to make, knowing how difficult it would be? They, unselfishly, made the decision to take on whatever the Lord planned. Perhaps He knew she and her husband weren't really able to handle a new baby of their own, at this time in their lives, but wanted them to learn what they would do? I'm certainly not God and I haven't got the answers. I would remind her that their little baby is back with God and is happy and perfect in every way up there. Congratulations on them getting be grandparents soon. I'm certain she will be an excellent Grammy!

She is so fortunate to have you as a friend. Enjoy your walk together.

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Saturday, March 03, 2012

Im not going to get all weepy and beat myself up.No,That just aint happenin.The stress caused by my daughter plus a few other events has caused me to NOT focus on ME!I jump headfirst into Stress like a swimming pool.Everyone brings problems to me and I absorb them too.Worry is my middle name.It would sure be nice if there was a switch that could be turned off for me.I am top contender for worrywart!It is pissing off my DH that My grownups are expecting me to be Judge MOM.I told them Im not a referee but,they dont seem to get the hint.Kayla my last baby bird is 17-1/2 and acts like she's in elementary..MOM,wash my uniform-Mom,I missed my ride-Mom,I didnt get paid!GRRR!Now shes been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and has panic attacks!DH says it is just a convenient way of getting me to do what she wants me to do....shes using her illness.I had recently stopped doing her room/laundry.In her cutest baby voice she said "can you wash my clothes"?LOL,uh NO!!She yelled at me for not washing her work clothes and she called in sick!!I was so danged mad at her,I yelled at her(not how I act)Im a peace keeper.So,Im making her mow grass,wash the car and bathe the dog!! emoticonWOW she is mad!I am geared up in workout clothes ready to hit the treadmill emoticon emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SERAPHGYRL 3/3/2012 6:47PM

    Ithink you need a 'your time'. I bet your DH would give you a spa day/massage,steam, mani-pedi, etc. If it isn't in the budget, get out some candles, bath luxuries, and some wine. Lock yourself in the bathroom and just let yourself feel pampered for a bit. I'm glad you aren't beating yourself up over being unable to give Sparking. You're still trying your best and that's all anyone can ask for. I'm here for you anytime you need support, encouragement, or a shoulder to boo-hoo on.


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CIRANDELLA 3/3/2012 3:42PM

    That's the way, Susan... sure, it's very hard on you, and yes, she is being manipulative (and immature). Just keep standing your ground... It won't be easy, but she'll get there. And remember, you're not responsible for her behavior at this stage of her life. She is...and she's got to learn to bear that responsibility.

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SLIMTHICK2 3/3/2012 3:05PM

    Tough but at least you know where your stress is coming from and you are armed to deal with it thanks to this site. All the best to you.

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FIFIFRIZZLE 3/3/2012 2:45PM

    It,s a tough time for you right now, and good for you to be picking up your exercise again. If you straighten up and fly right things will quickly go better for you, and who knows, your DD might benefit from setting off on a walk with you. My DH and I go to the pool together and spend some time on our own, one does laps, the other aqua jogs and some time together aquajogggging and chatting. It,s good, we support each other but don,t hold each other back. When I walked with my step sons, we would set out together and they would go ahead and then catch me up coming back the other way. I guess the thing is, we start off and finish up together, but we didn,t cramp each other,s style. A good skill to develop, it has stood me in good stead.

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Friday, March 02, 2012

Yesterday was one of those nerve wrecking days!Anything that could go wrong did!My toilet went haywire and started leaking profusely.As I was going to Lowe's,I was ran off the road into mud,got stuck and two soldiers pulled me out.I had just pulled into the drive when my daughter sent me a 911
which means medical emergency and I broke all the speed limits getting to her.
She could barely speak,was crying and her heart was racing,face was red and she looked terrified...Panic attack!I rushed her to the hospital ER and they took a few tests/xrays to rule out heart problems.Anxiety and depression were to blame!2 good friends died,2 went to jail for being STUPID and robbing somebody and she's about to graduate soon...It all caught up to her!She has gained alot of weight.Acne has sprouted all over her face and she eats enough junk to float a ship.She is like an unruly toddler right now refusing to eat a balanced diet and wont go to bed until midnite....She has me on edge worrying about her and last night I blubbered like a baby...tears and snot!My DH thinks its just a matter of a strong will to overcome anxiety and depression.I cant make him see reason because he's too opinionated.Women are too soft he says.
She is not preggers,shes drug free,alcohol free and he cant see that as a blessing!!!!!I am weary and need lots of prayers!!! emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TRESSWANN 3/4/2012 5:16PM

    Prayers are with you and your daughter. It's a hard time. Life does change

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FIFIFRIZZLE 3/3/2012 2:48PM

    Well said Martha about the codependency, it,s a tough one for mothers, almost an occupational hazard!

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MARTHASPARKS 3/3/2012 10:28AM

    She'll be fine because she has you but your daughter is really dependent - as mine was once, too. Strong mothers don't always make strong daughters, so help her with the codependency. It's a fine line between love and being codependent. My husband never understood either... But he's not warm and fuzzy. I'm glad your frantic day is over, sweetheart. It was a tough one.

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SUECHRIS50 3/2/2012 10:20PM

    thank you all so much!You all make me feel so much better and she is 17 years old.I realized today she has me wrapped around her universe and is using her remote to control me...its made of guilt!!

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RUNNER12COM 3/2/2012 7:45PM

    Bless your heart. Thank goodness your daughter is okay. You'll keep reminding her and it will sink in, one day.

Hang in there.

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SERAPHGYRL 3/2/2012 6:10PM

    What a day you've had! My prayers are with you and your daughter. Tell your DH anxiety/panic attacks are very real and they have NOTHING to do with how strong we women are.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ALLIEALKINS 3/2/2012 3:48PM

    My sister is a lot like your daughter; she's got severe depression and anxiety as well and it's taken a huge toll on my mom. The thing that's helped her the most, however, is a support group. She's developed a lot of skills to help both my sister and herself cope and find a solution for the situation. Try googling it or asking your doctor if she knows of one; they're very helpful and my mom has been attending hers for a few years now.

Keep your chin up! It'll get better! My sister has started eating better and working out, too; it took some prodding, but she'll find that she feels better after a while and, really, that's all she wants in the first place. =)

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LVMAMAW 3/2/2012 3:24PM

    emoticon emoticon
Praying for you all
emoticon emoticon

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ARCHIMEDESII 3/2/2012 3:22PM


You're having a really frantic day, but it sounds like everything did turn out okay. Try to be positive. You could have been stuck in the mud when your daughter called, but two soldiers came by to help. You didn't get pulled over by the police for speeding when rushing to her aid. While a lot may have gone wrong today, a lot went right too.

Is your daughter over 18 ? Well, if she's an adult, she's going to have to start acting like one. Because one day, you might not be there to help her. Some times, mother birds do have to give baby birds a swift kick to get them to fly. Hopefully this is just a phase and as your daughter becomes more self reliant, she'll take better care of herself.

If not, you're going to have to be patient. How many times were we told we needed to do something about our weight before we decided we did need to make a change ?

Try not to worry. I know that's hard for a mom, but ruining your health isn't going to help her.


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quitters never never quit!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

I think I saw that saying on a Tee shirt..but,it really inspired me!I was on the walking path and met an OLD me she was not OLD!She asked me to walk with her and I sat worrying about leaving her behind...while I was tying up my sneakers.I looked up and saw her hanging from some workout bars that were beside the trail.By her knees!I should'nt have been worrying about her because she had to come back to get me...LOL...She dusted me off so bad my face was really RED!Myrna was this tiny petite black lady that looks like she should be serving cookies and milk..Not have beautifully sculpted abs,arms,back and legs!And she is 70!!!!!It goes to show you that looks can be and are deceiving......GO MYRNA!!!..... emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTHASPARKS 3/3/2012 10:28AM

    My Mom's that way and she's almost 81!

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LYNETTEMOM 2/29/2012 2:06PM

    haha, great!

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The gym smells yucky

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

My little granddaughter Aaliyah was running errands with me because she was getting lunch out of the deal.We dropped in at the gym to check my locker for sweaty clothes I may have left.Her highness stood at the door fanning the air..It smells yucky in here grammy!This place needs pine cleaner scrunching up her nose and pewing melodramatically..I laughed and grabbed her hand as we went out the door.Grammy?Our school is ending our P.E. Program next year and I like P.E.!Could you sign the TISHON? smiling I said Petition? Yeah she laughed..That!Okay,but lets get lunch.I thought about it and wondered why,of all classes would they end P.E.?Our children are getting obese and for some it's the only exercise they get.When my DD was in the 10th grade she opted out of P.E. and thus gained 35 pounds since!Aaliyah is tiny for 5 but a ball of energy.I went to her school and signed the Tishon (; and she thinks i've saved the day...What do ya'll think?Is P.E. as important as I think it is?? emoticonSUSAN


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