Monday, January 30, 2012
When I was a little girl,we were raised by my daddy to dislike anyone different.My mama and my grandparents were the exact opposite.My daddy had war wounds in his heart.He caught me playing with a little vietnamese girl when I was in 3rd grade and beat me brutally!After that it just wasnt worth the beatings to have another race as a friend.He found something wrong with everyone I chose to play with so I became very lonely.I also became terrified of anyone talking to me,afraid dad would think I was talking to them.I worked from age 12 as a waitress for dads sister so,he got a job as a dishwasher to "keep an eye on me".Once a very polite black man was talking to me and handing me money for a tip and that....incident...left me unable to step out in public.I was so scared he'd kill me that I ran to my dads brother Uncle Donald for help.He took one look at me and took me in his arms.How could dads brothers be so loving and caring? And dad was a monster?Uncle Don called dad and had him come over.He proceeded to weave a tale about me being on drugs and getting beat by a drug dealer!!I hadnt even told on him,they just figured it out.Dad had an army ring that left circular bruises on me.For a long time he was sorry and left me alone.I prayed could this be true?UNTIL...I met the new maid that was a man in womens clothes...Davina/davy was black and I didnt care...We became besties!He lived in my aunts hotel and worked undercover because he couldnt find a job as a man.It never mattered to any of us either.He was always the perfect gentleman,friend,joker,prankster and maid.Dad saw me coming from Davina's room and hugging her and that was all he could "STOMACH"To say the least,he put me in the hospital!8 days later I was released to my brother.Eddie took a restraining order out against our Dad.I FELT LIKE AN ABUSED WIFE!After we felt he was back to himself we got too trusting and he beat us both...For making him look like a fool to his family.We were both in the hospital when an angel came to talk to me.She was black and quite beautiful in my brothers opinion.I was afraid dad would see us talking to her and hurt HER!The hospital let him in to see us...HE WAS SORRY!!I went to stay with a foster family and for a while was happy.The dad had eyes on me and the mom got jealous and beat me with a broom.I ran away and found my mama and she took me for a while.The angel stepped back in again and took me to her home until I was back on my feet.To not live in fear was a blessing
and I actually got to return to school.One day as I was stepping out of the gymnasium,Dad grabbed me and put a gun to my head,took me to the river and I just knew I was a goner...I talked him into taking me back after I convinced him I was NOT my mama.He had been using alcohol and thinking I was My mama.Thats why he would beat me!!I didnt see him for 10 years after that and when I did he swore he didnt remember ever laying a hand on me!!I forgave him out of love but,never trusted him again.He developed alzheimers and died a few years ago.I couldnt bring myself to see him.He put me through HELL!I will always love the man that WAS my father as a child but,A MONSTER took over him and he refused help.
My brother has shown signs of being the same way and wont listen to me when I beg him to get help also.
No matter how much we love someone.
Love is NOT always the answer!
Friday, January 27, 2012
I know He is all knowing/all seeing.Being good,faithful,loving,kind,friendly comes natural for me.Sometimes people test my faith...Yelling,screaming,cursing and being nasty is not called for.I witnessed an elderly lady in a scooter being verbally attacked,while she was crying!!I will probably end up someday being beat up for sticking my big nose into what isn't my beeswax.I ended up being cussed at and that was okay.It happened to be that womans daughter doing the cussing.I WOULD NEVER SPEAK TO MY MAMA THAT WAY!!#1 she would mount my head on her wall,#2 my siblings would come after me#3 She just would not allow it.There just isnt any excuse for it no matter what..I dont have her anymore but she was a shining light in my life and I adored her more than anything.I pray for people like that angry woman,who knows what she's going through?I hugged the elderly lady and rolled her into the ladies room and wet a towel to wash her face.Sent my daughter for some water and sat on the floor and listened. As Lila talked about how bad she feels living with her daughter and three teen kids,the worry seemed to drain from her face.I gave Lila a hotline phone # and the number for the nursing home.Whether its verbal,mental or physical..ITS ABUSE!!She already called and got a space at the nursing home...YAY!Pray for her and me too!She is a beautiful lady and only deserves love,kindness and respect!.... SUSAN
Monday, January 23, 2012
My beautiful granddaughter Mercedes is 14 going on 20...they just grow up so fast!She is headed down a troubled road and her parents are at their wits end to help her.She has seen her parents split up and fight,argue and threaten each other.
Her brothers moving out and back in,her 17 year old brother got married and became a father,and life just couldnt be more unstable because she has moved about 25 times in 14 years!
I took her with me to the shelter.
She didnt want to go!
I did'nt ask her,I told her she was going!
She sulked and listened to her phone/music and texted.
I was talking to her and she ignored me.
I took the phone.
Her life was over!
I put my arms around her
she cried and yelled!
We were going to serve lunch and hand out welcome kits.
Did you know that I chose you to come because I love your personality?
She was interseted now.
You are so kind and an interesting person!
well grammy if you say so.
we apron(ed)up and began dishing food to homeless shelter folks.
After a while I looked down the line of us spooners,
There my beautiful girl stood
Laughing and smiling and just glowing!
Next up we go into the station where the shampoo,soap,towels and clothing
are given out.She was reverting to the cranky sullen girl.
Grammy?this is not me!
Give it a try honey.
If you dont like it,
I'll let ya sit it out.
Soon,She was there with her glow back!
I whispered in her ear,
Doesnt it feel great to help?
She was smiling with tears in her eyes
I was getting our jackets to leave when she asked
Can we stay to serve dinner?
Yes honey,but it'll be two more hours.
Thats okay grammy,
They need help in the nursery.
I couldnt have been more proud of her as I was at that moment!
Later when we were done I took her to a steak house.
No Grammy,I will eat some McDonald's!
Huh?My little meat lover wanted MICKEYDEES???
We went and had a great time together.
She hadnt even asked for her phone back!!
She ate and made a beeline to help with the little people in
HAPPYLAND.....im a good helper,huh Grammy?
Yes,Darling you are!!!!.......Then she got in the car and slept
ALL THE WAY HOME!Her dad said,what did you do? she did a complete
turnaround at school! Shelter life will make you
change alot inside.Knowing we are blessed and those folks feel they are too?
Get An Email Alert Each Time SUECHRIS50 Posts