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Am i kidding myself?will I make my goals?

Tuesday, February 07, 2012

Those are two questions that im sure lots of you ask yourself alot.
I feel like im in a hurry at the supermarket.
I get the slowest checker available.
I move to a register that looks fast.
The computer goes down.
My weight loss is up and down,
like a yo-yo!
I get myself in a jam with the food choices
and go for the wrong food.
Im willing myself to leave the sweets and carbs alone
but like im dreaming,I dont.
Afterwards my mind is in a frenzy.
why did I just eat that?
Next time I will eat right!
BUT,next time comes and I eat badly.
I tell myself tomorrow I will do better,but,I dont!!
My Therapist thinks he can hynotize me
and get my thinking straight again.
I think to myself,I need to get back to that place.
You know the one where YOU became successful
and the pounds were melting off?
Once I bought some jeans and 3 weeks later,
I had to get a smaller size.
I find myself getting frustrated alot
angry,happy,sad,laughing.
My family puts stress on me,
that I cant seem to ignore.
I started sparking and WOW!!
all of you have been there and where I am now.
I was dropping the weight.
I dropped like 37 pounds,
gained 16 back.Lost 9 again.
Thats 30 pounds lost from one year ago today!
I could have done better
but I have not quit.
and dont plan to.
I am proud that im down to 140
and I can live with it.
My food-itude needs some adjustment and I could work out more.
My goal is still 125 so pray I dont slip backwards
emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 2/9/2012 1:17PM

    Oooh is this the change back mechanism at work? When you want to make a change there is a kind of reaction, part of you wants change and the underground part wants you to change back. No particular reason, just ...because. No worries, persist, you'lll catch up with yourself.
emoticon

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MARTHASPARKS 2/8/2012 11:16PM

    Susan, you know what to do but your focus slips because you do so much for others. Keep your eye on the ball. You can do this. You will do this!

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DUSTYGIRL25 2/7/2012 10:19PM

    We can do it! We have the same goal! emoticon emoticon

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PRIMALMICHAEL 2/7/2012 7:12PM

    I love poetry night!
Yep, many of us have been there and asked those questions. You did a very nice job of conveying the feelings.



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CIRANDELLA 2/7/2012 4:38PM

    I'm excited that your therapist wants to explore hypnosis as a possibility for you! Iuse meditation/self-hypnosis mp3s for various purposes and really feel that it makes a slow, steady difference; it's been very encouraging. Losing weight, gaining a little back, then losing more - that seesaw pattern many of us have - seems to be a pretty common thing. I suspect many of us ultimately reach goal that way, too, so feel heartened!

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MILLIE5522 2/7/2012 4:20PM

    Yep! That's me! I have been on a plateau (varying by 3lbs either way) for the last 7months but I am determined to get to 125 this year! At least I have got some insight into how to maintain my weight. emoticon

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SLIMTHICK2 2/7/2012 3:38PM

    Except for the stress from the family part, you sound just like me. How I need to kick myself in the butt and start staying on track until goal weight. Who knows I might just be able to do it soon. All the best to you. emoticon emoticon

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We have a crazy neighbor!

Monday, February 06, 2012

For the last 3 years,we have this neighbor that comes so close to me with his car,that I can smell his breath.Yesterday,he screamed...Get out the road BITCH!!It's not like I've ever done him any wrong.The streets are real wide also.I was at the communal mailbox and asked him why he acts like he's trying to hit me.He says...there are plenty of gyms and walking trails.Just stay out of my way!My DH would go bonkers if i told him.I am at the point where im ready to call the police and lodge a complaint.He actually acts angry at me.My friend said she thinks because he is fat,he's jealous he isnt out walking.I told him if he comes close to me again,Im calling the cops!I dont like to create trouble for anyone but he could hit me,hurt or kill me.What do ya'll think? emoticon
SUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRAN0426 2/7/2012 4:13PM

    No one has the right to confront you aas if they would run you down, let alone spark to you the way he did. I think I would ask other neighbors if they are having problems with him ( they may be afraid of letting others know). Then I would call the police and let them know if you and or any neighbore are having problems with him and ask for advice.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 2/7/2012 4:04PM

    Please tell Hubby, Sue.
I've been hiding the crazysauce neighbours from mine and it put an emotional wedge between hubby and I. I thought I was just keeping the peace (and my hubby outta jail). Hubs is 6ft5" and used to bounce bars in Toronto...putting Hells Angels through windows and getting away with it. So, I thought I was being merciful to the mouthy/creepy dudes. Cuz, everyone is allowed to have a bad day, right?
I was only hurting my relationship with my man. Allowing someone to hurt you and hushing it from your spouse allows the poison to continue to flow. Even if hubby does/doesn't take action that you shared you were keeping information that contributes to your physical/emotional well being purposefully away from him means that he needs that vulnerable information all the more.
He's more than a pretty face.

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BETTERHEALTH123 2/7/2012 9:23AM

    I would definitely call the police if he should do this again like you told him you would do. It sounds like he has mental health issues for sure!!!

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SPARKLINGDAWN 2/6/2012 9:49PM

    Remember that your phone could document - either taping or taking a picture/video - in case you have a smart phone. But do not be obvious about it. Which means that you need it running in advance, and that might be hard. On the other hand, those files that never ended up being anything can easily be deleted.

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NSTARSMITH 2/6/2012 6:27PM

    Well, having survived a diagnosably crazy neighbor (so far ...) I gotta agree that verbally engaging with him is not just useless but also counterproductive. It feeds the guy's twisted thinking. It's hard, but act like he doesn't exist. I know the cops probably can't take any action but it is important to lodge a complaint. It starts a paper trail. Also, tell as many neighbors as possible. That starts a trail of people who are aware of his threats. And threats they are! Driving too close to a pedestrian is tantamount to raising a weapon. Ask the police what the laws of the road are regarding pedestrians. Do NOT put off talking to the police because of worry that he might get worse! In the meantime, keep an eye out for him and step out of his way. YIKES! The world is full of twisted folks - not just Texas! Wisconsin has its share! emoticon

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CIRANDELLA 2/6/2012 5:21PM

    I'd speak to the police about him, although I don't know what they would do. Maybe they'd have some suggestions. Meanwhile, do not respond to this man at all. He sounds quite disturbed.. You must stay disengaged from him.

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FIFIFRIZZLE 2/6/2012 2:34PM

    Hmm, I would speak to the police about it now. Then they will take any complaint you make more seriously.
Have you considered inviting him to join you on your walk? emoticon

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ELECTRALYTE 2/6/2012 2:16PM

    I'm not sure what I would do. I hate confrontation and I would be afraid if you call the police they wouldn't do anything accept talk to him and that might make him retaliate and get worse.
I'm SO sorry you have this problem. I have had way crazy neighbors and it is NO fun.

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 2/6/2012 2:06PM

    How sad! He is a sad angry man with very bad manners. Boy don't we wish we could sprinkle happy over neighbors who lash out at us or don't want to live in peace and harmony? I am so sorry he called you that. I hope it helps to know he is just coming from a very sad place inside that make him so horrible.

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BARBAELLEN 2/6/2012 1:48PM

    I swear, Susan! There must be something in the drinking water down there in Texas! You always seem to be coming across people who are cussing or fighting or something. I ran across what appeared to be a mother and daughter screaming at each other in a Target the other day, and they were escorted out by a manager. It was the most exciting to-do I've run across in a decade. :)



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My husband does dishes and takes out the trash

Sunday, February 05, 2012

Whoopy freakin doo you might say but,thats my MAN!I do it all for him and he shows me he appreciates it by returning the favor!He is an expert cook and pushes a mean vacuum around.I was cleaning up and hanging his jacket and he said I am so glad to have you!!It's not always been this way.He used to be the typical man,Until I got sick and went in the hospital.Ladies NEVER correct your man/lady if they do a task around the house!!!If you happen to be anal about towel folding,re-fold them when hes not around!He makes the bed any way he wants and I'd never comment.Zip it and keep it zipped and you might just get him to do stuff that you dislike.Oh,and BRAG on him alot for doing it.I wont let DH wash clothes because he once had enough bubbles rolling out of the garage to float on..LOL,Anything else he's welcome to!!What does your other half do for you? emoticon emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 2/7/2012 5:52PM

    My man's also a great cook, and he's come a long way with other stuff too! Dishes, bed, laundry (he claims to enjoy it -- whaaaaat?) I am lucky and I know it!

I do re-fold certain laundry items and he knows it and thinks I am crazy, but I keep trying to tell him it's a matter of living in an apartment with limited space -- the stuff won't fit in the drawers his way! emoticon

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TRESSWANN 2/6/2012 6:38PM

    Mine keeps the house beautifully. He really doesn't cook but vacuums, does laundry, irons, dishes etc. Lucky he doesn't come on this site cause he doesnt want any one to know

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MARTHASPARKS 2/6/2012 10:34AM

    Mine started vacuuming after I had spinal surgery. Now that he retired, he also does tubs, toilets and some grocery shopping.

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 2/5/2012 11:12PM

    Cool emoticon

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ARTJAC 2/5/2012 10:07PM

    my hubby vaccums and washes the floors and puts the bins out to be emptied then brings them back and puts them in their place

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ANNAMARIE1958 2/5/2012 9:35PM

    Boy are you all lucky...My DH makes the bed(he's the last one in it) and takes out the trash. The list stops there....He is a great man though! emoticon

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MISSM66 2/5/2012 9:06PM

    My hubby clean up the kitchen after I cook,he take the Garbage out, he make the bed, and he will cook if I don't want to, he clean the Glass door,today I was at work and I call him and ask him to go and do some shopping at Sams and I just tell him what I want and when I get home everything was here and he also make dinner for me,I am so happy I have a man like that,he is the best. emoticon emoticon

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LESSOFPMCD 2/5/2012 7:30PM

    My hubby does all of the cooking and the laundry. He is a great cook and loves to do it. Only problem is trying to get him to cook healthier to help me - but he is getting better now that he knows I'm serious about this. Been on this for a month now.

I'm really lucky and I do know this. And you are so right - don't complain about how he does it - just say thanks!

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SHIRLANGEL 2/5/2012 7:27PM

    My hubby takes out the trash, helps with the laundry, vacuums the floor and bathes our dog. When my PF is acting up and I can't stand much he helps me out by doing the dishes too. I really appreciate what he does around the house and make it a point to tell him often.

Yep, we're very blessed to have these good husbands. emoticon

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CIRANDELLA 2/5/2012 6:10PM

    Those same tasks plus the laundry... I have some orthopedic problems which make that a little hard. In return, I do all the cookin' and housework, and he brings home the bacon (or reasonable, lower-fat alternative :)

We must keep these guys, Susan! :)

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CHANGING-TURTLE 2/5/2012 5:49PM

    My hubby takes the trash out and cleans the bathroom, but not very good i clean up after him just before I go in the shower. i don't think he knows because i brag about how much he helps around the house to all our friends. He is a great guy today he said he was going to take over making the bed yeah

emoticon

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Goodwill shopping is green,Dont trash it!

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I am totally a Goodwill supporter!I donate and buy part of my wardrobe there.It's an excellent place to by painting clothes,lawn work clothes,fishing clothes,auto work clothes.My idea is to buy old sheets for painters drop cloths.I once bought a faded watercolor print for $3 and removed it from the frame
to use colored pencils to refresh the color and reframed it.I bought two lamps that had seen better days and spray painted them,rewired and put on new shades.I bought a $10 8x10 carpet,steam cleaned it and where the stains remained,I stencil painted leaf patterns on it and VOILA!Trash to treasure in an hour.Plus,it doesent go in a landfill.What are some of the things you have saved from the trash?Seriously try it out!! emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GIRANIMAL 2/7/2012 5:55PM

    I'm a huge thrift-store fan! I buy the majority of my clothes there. I also recently found the perfect spice rack at my local thrift store - I actually tried to buy it new (never dreamed I'd get so lucky to find one secondhand) and none of them worked for me and my space like this $3 gem does! I've even found a Leslie Sansone workout DVD there and all sorts of household items. Save money and the planet -- win-win!

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LGAR519 2/3/2012 10:52AM

    We have a Goodwill and Salvation Army in the town close to our town. Our Salvation Army recently closed. I have always donated to them both. And since times have gotten hard, I also buy from them. I have gotten almost new dresses and outfits from Goodwill. Their prices are slowly going up though. Salvation Army is cheaper but less selection in the bigger sizes.

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ARLENE_MOVES 2/3/2012 12:06AM

    As you know, I'm a Goodwill shopper and contributer. All of my 'new' jeans are from there and if I go on Senior day, get 30% off and on Sunday's it's 50% off all clothing. My dh used to get old speakers there until the only speakers being sold there are cheap new style ones. Several years ago, we were buying clothes on Sundays, mainly kids or baby clothes and sending them to the Indian Reservation in south Dakato, the poorest in the country. Shipping got so expensive, we can no longer afford to do it, but at least the clothes were cheap and in extremely good shape!

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PATRISNA 2/2/2012 10:31PM

    emoticon

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BARBAELLEN 2/2/2012 8:26PM

    I'm amazed to hear of the great deals everyone is getting from Goodwill. They must price differently, depending on location. I tried the one near me, and I couldn't believe they had $2.99 prices tags stuck on top of Dollar Store stickers. Glad to hear that you scored some nice things!

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ARCHIMEDESII 2/2/2012 9:43AM

    ME TOO ! I love shopping at the Goodwill. I've found tons of great books, CDs and DVDs. oh yeah, clothes too. ;)

I donate stuff regularly too. As you say, it's the ultimate form of recycling. I can't use something, but maybe someone else can AND bonus points, the Goodwill gets money selling stuff I won't use any more.

emoticon

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CIRANDELLA 2/1/2012 9:08PM

    Good for you, Susan...and I applaud how creative you were with the stencil patterns - wow! I'm a big fan of Goodwill and Salvation Army and have found many goodies at both places, one of my all-time favorites being a sturdy, timeless, cornflower-blue polo shirt from Lands End. A billion washings and it's never worn out :) What a shame, ecologically and financially, not to go to these places! emoticon

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BLEGNER1 1/31/2012 11:39PM

    I do a lot of shopping at Salvation Army thrift store or Catholic Charities Right after I got the last futon given to me, I decided that I needed fitted full sized sheets to go over it as they would be easier for me to get off and on it than the zippered bag that was on it. I found a pink sheet and 2 pillow cases and four white sheets. I got them all for fifty cents each,
Brought them home and washed them up and they are working great. I also get quite a few items on freecycle. I also get rid of things by giving to the charities or offering them on freecycle. It is great to be able to give and know that the people who get it are in great need of it.
Many blessings
Barb



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BR>


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LIBBYG7 1/31/2012 7:34PM

    LIBBYG7
1/31/2012 7:32PM

Here in NYC.....we shop on the streets. For some reason...in the upscale neighborhoods, people put unwanted furniture (and other stuff) out on the street for trash collection. It's become a NY tradition to 'shop' on trash days. I would never touch anything upholstered or fabric (we had a terrific bedbug problem in the city recently.......).

And at this stage of my life, I've got all the 'stuff' I could ever want or need. I love old things and have some beautiful antique pieces.....but I'd love to get rid of some now.

However.........over the past year.........I did a little street shopping. I picked up a little three legged table, with exquisite carvings, in perfect condition = except that someone tried to sand off the finish. I have the perfect spot for it....and I've been planning to refinish it for a long while. My hands are so bad...I may have it done professionally. Also, I found a beautiful metal cilindrical tub with gold (brass) handles - which holds all my 'pooper' bags for Lucy. I also re-cycle weekly advertising circular plastic bags for 'pooper' bags.
I haven't been in a Goodwill store in ages.....but in the past, I found a pretty dinner set I bought as a gift for one of our building staff.

My shopping days are mostly over.....



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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 1/31/2012 6:51PM

    I wish our Goodwill wasn't so high. We used to shop there years ago. Now it is cheaper for me to bargain shop which is a shame.

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MISSB8604 1/31/2012 6:46PM

    Awesome!

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DEBK0923 1/31/2012 6:00PM

    That's my motto as well, most times I get great barfains on beautiful things

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LOVE is not always the answer!

Monday, January 30, 2012

When I was a little girl,we were raised by my daddy to dislike anyone different.My mama and my grandparents were the exact opposite.My daddy had war wounds in his heart.He caught me playing with a little vietnamese girl when I was in 3rd grade and beat me brutally!After that it just wasnt worth the beatings to have another race as a friend.He found something wrong with everyone I chose to play with so I became very lonely.I also became terrified of anyone talking to me,afraid dad would think I was talking to them.I worked from age 12 as a waitress for dads sister so,he got a job as a dishwasher to "keep an eye on me".Once a very polite black man was talking to me and handing me money for a tip and that....incident...left me unable to step out in public.I was so scared he'd kill me that I ran to my dads brother Uncle Donald for help.He took one look at me and took me in his arms.How could dads brothers be so loving and caring? And dad was a monster?Uncle Don called dad and had him come over.He proceeded to weave a tale about me being on drugs and getting beat by a drug dealer!!I hadnt even told on him,they just figured it out.Dad had an army ring that left circular bruises on me.For a long time he was sorry and left me alone.I prayed could this be true?UNTIL...I met the new maid that was a man in womens clothes...Davina/davy was black and I didnt care...We became besties!He lived in my aunts hotel and worked undercover because he couldnt find a job as a man.It never mattered to any of us either.He was always the perfect gentleman,friend,joker,prankster and maid.Dad saw me coming from Davina's room and hugging her and that was all he could "STOMACH"To say the least,he put me in the hospital!8 days later I was released to my brother.Eddie took a restraining order out against our Dad.I FELT LIKE AN ABUSED WIFE!After we felt he was back to himself we got too trusting and he beat us both...For making him look like a fool to his family.We were both in the hospital when an angel came to talk to me.She was black and quite beautiful in my brothers opinion.I was afraid dad would see us talking to her and hurt HER!The hospital let him in to see us...HE WAS SORRY!!I went to stay with a foster family and for a while was happy.The dad had eyes on me and the mom got jealous and beat me with a broom.I ran away and found my mama and she took me for a while.The angel stepped back in again and took me to her home until I was back on my feet.To not live in fear was a blessing
and I actually got to return to school.One day as I was stepping out of the gymnasium,Dad grabbed me and put a gun to my head,took me to the river and I just knew I was a goner...I talked him into taking me back after I convinced him I was NOT my mama.He had been using alcohol and thinking I was My mama.Thats why he would beat me!!I didnt see him for 10 years after that and when I did he swore he didnt remember ever laying a hand on me!!I forgave him out of love but,never trusted him again.He developed alzheimers and died a few years ago.I couldnt bring myself to see him.He put me through HELL!I will always love the man that WAS my father as a child but,A MONSTER took over him and he refused help.
My brother has shown signs of being the same way and wont listen to me when I beg him to get help also.
No matter how much we love someone.
Love is NOT always the answer!
emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYG7 1/31/2012 7:33PM

    Here in NYC.....we shop on the streets. For some reason...in the upscale neighborhoods, people put unwanted furniture (and other stuff) out on the street for trash collection. It's become a NY tradition to 'shop' on trash days. I would never touch anything upholstered or fabric (we had a terrific bedbug problem in the city recently.......).

And at this stage of my life, I've got all the 'stuff' I could ever want or need. I love old things and have some beautiful antique pieces.....but I'd love to get rid of some now.

However.........over the past year.........I did a little street shopping. I picked up a little three legged table, with exquisite carvings, in perfect condition = except that someone tried to sand off the finish. I have the perfect spot for it....and I've been planning to refinish it for a long while. My hands are so bad...I may have it done professionally. Also, I found a beautiful metal cilindrical tub with gold (brass) handles - which holds all my 'pooper' bags for Lucy. I also re-cycle weekly advertising circular plastic bags for 'pooper' bags.
I haven't been in a Goodwill store in ages.....but in the past, I found a pretty dinner set I bought as a gift for one of our building staff.

My shopping days are mostly over.....

emoticon

SUSAN == I'M SO SORRY......I MEANT TO COMMENT ON YOUR GOODWILL BLOG....AND INSTEAD IT SHOWED UP HERE. I TRIED TO DELETE IT....BUT COULDN'T. AGAIN SORRY, DEAR.

THIS IS A HEARTBREAKING BLOG.....

emoticon

Comment edited on: 1/31/2012 7:41:40 PM

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ARCHIMEDESII 1/31/2012 9:45AM

    Susan, that was absolutely heartbreaking. No one should have to go through that sort of torment. I'm glad you've had angels looking at for you through your life. You have a decent soul !

emoticon

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CIRANDELLA 1/31/2012 8:06AM

    Wise words, Susan, and I am so sorry you had to suffer like this...

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MARTHASPARKS 1/30/2012 11:35PM

    Dear God, Susan, I am so very sorry. How terrible. No wonder you are so kind to everyone you meet. Bless you. Live in peace and safety now.

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