Sunday, December 04, 2011
I went to the doctor to renew some meds and my BP was 158/100!!The staff immediately lay me down and put an IV in my arm.I really have been under stress with alot of issues..my MIL is vey sick,my BIL is getting his leg amputated from diabetes comps,my daughters are having problems with relationships and jobs and I am having probs with BP meds making me dizzy and nauseous.I AM NOT GOING DOWN so,I have been learning meditation,yoga and have been walking my dog in the chilly rain.I came back home checked my BP and it was 125/72!!I told my daughters that if they wernt dying,dont talk to me about anything that will worry me and ditto for the inlaws..I love them all but,cant handle their ISSUES!IM a worrier and always have been...I am otherwise sooo healthy and am turning around my weight and have dropped 7 pounds!!My DH gets my phone for me and asks if its important and if not he listens to the person calling...I went to my coconut cake friend and told her if I mean anything to her she will not try to force feed me anymore junk!I said If I was an alcoholic,would you insist I drink alcohol??Her face turned red and she apologized..RITA is 325lb,5ft.5inch,47 year old and thinks she is loving me with food,she has offered to start walking with me three days a week to help us both with our health.She has 4 kids and decided she needs to be around for herself and them...YAY RITA!It's very important not to let ME down and to keep on going forward with my healthy lifestyle!No matter what
I have to do it for ME
I cant let anyone BULLY me
I cant give in to whining
THANK YOU is small compared to what I want to say
to you all...When I need a lift
SPARK PEOPLE is where I am
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I put everyone else first and dont know if I'll ever change!I adore people of all races,religions,sizes!I could strike up a talk with Jack the Ripper...LOL..I hold doors,give up my seat to elders,Give help where help is needed,support abused women,volunteer at the old folks home,But,I come last!I have trouble putting Me first!My daddy's mama said we were conceited if we put ourselves before others...Grandma was sweet and loving but expected us to be grownups in the mind.She talked to us like we were grown folk.I was 4 the first time she made me kneel on the stairs and pray for an hour for saying..HUH!Now at age 51 im on a trek to try putting me first.Im afraid of what my kids and dh will think of me..will they think im going bonkers?Not speaking up to them and swallowing any comments i might have,has put me back on the road to FATTY MCFAT GIRL!I do not like confrontation,so i keep quiet when im dying to speak up..example..my galpal asked me over for tea and talk,she brought out a coconut cake and cut me a giant slice...I didnt want the cake and tried to say so but she wouldnt hear me,i gave her son my cake and she says good huh?Of course he hollers,I ate it mama!So she says im a sorry friend and i apologized..where were my balls when i should have spoken up and said she was the sorry friend to force cake on me?She rolled her eyes and cut more cake for me!!I told her no cake please but she cut it anyway...why am i a challenge to my friends?They are expecting me to fail
Im expecting me to fail but im trying so damned hard to grow a pair and learn to speak up more...i like peace!
My mama always got on me for not speaking up
my husband scolds me for giving the waitress too much money
my daughter talks crap to me if i give the kids food
My opinion just dont matter
My neighbor brought over a ton of xmas cookies
I fed them to neighborhood kids
I put a sign on the front door..DO NOT FEED THE BEAR!
they all walk past it and laugh!
Kayla has a good idea...YELL YOUR HEAD OFF MAMA!!!
right,that'll get their attention for sure!
I am fat because of my weakness.
I am fat because I eat away my frustrations
I am fat because Im hurting inside
I have this,its just a matter of time... SUSAN
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Thanksgiving 2011 has come and gone and im still standing!!A few pounds the heavier but overall im feeling great!It was so much fun.My three out of four daughters were here and we celebrated with so much laughter.We tweaked a few recipe's for healthier options,drank alot of water,they didnt even know that I made the sweet potato pie with fat free canned milk,egg sub's and equal.No pie is left to tempt me either.The mac n cheese was made with low fat cheese and it was awesome.Today we got together and put up the Xmas tree and dec'd the house.I havent washed so many dishes in months.The kids use a cup and put it in the sink....whew!I havent had this much fun in years!!I hope you all had fun too...xoxoxoxox.... SUSAN
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