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I've been walking in the RAIN...brrr!

Sunday, December 04, 2011

I went to the doctor to renew some meds and my BP was 158/100!!The staff immediately lay me down and put an IV in my arm.I really have been under stress with alot of MIL is vey sick,my BIL is getting his leg amputated from diabetes comps,my daughters are having problems with relationships and jobs and I am having probs with BP meds making me dizzy and nauseous.I AM NOT GOING DOWN so,I have been learning meditation,yoga and have been walking my dog in the chilly rain.I came back home checked my BP and it was 125/72!!I told my daughters that if they wernt dying,dont talk to me about anything that will worry me and ditto for the inlaws..I love them all but,cant handle their ISSUES!IM a worrier and always have been...I am otherwise sooo healthy and am turning around my weight and have dropped 7 pounds!!My DH gets my phone for me and asks if its important and if not he listens to the person calling...I went to my coconut cake friend and told her if I mean anything to her she will not try to force feed me anymore junk!I said If I was an alcoholic,would you insist I drink alcohol??Her face turned red and she apologized..RITA is 325lb,5ft.5inch,47 year old and thinks she is loving me with food,she has offered to start walking with me three days a week to help us both with our health.She has 4 kids and decided she needs to be around for herself and them...YAY RITA!It's very important not to let ME down and to keep on going forward with my healthy lifestyle!No matter what
I have to do it for ME
I cant let anyone BULLY me
I cant give in to whining
THANK YOU is small compared to what I want to say
to you all...When I need a lift
SPARK PEOPLE is where I am

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RAINBOWCHOC 12/5/2011 2:06PM

    Bravo for such excellent ways to deal with the new challenges. Blood pressure will come down with exercise and stress reduction.
good luck and we're right behind you!

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MARTHASPARKS 12/5/2011 12:01PM

    Susan, I am proud of the actions you took. It's hard to tell a friend who thinks she's loving you not to do it with food. As for your girls, you know as well as I do that you will have to keep telling them again and again not to stress you. High BP is serious. Keep exercising and watch the salt intake... we want you around for a long, long time.

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MARVEEME 12/4/2011 8:18PM

    You are loved here. Try to lay some burdens down.

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SHASSYSUE2 12/4/2011 7:18PM

    My BP has been high too lately, but it is because of the birth control pills that I take. I am actually going to stop taking them, I can't stand the constant headaches. I am glad that your friend has taken up the cause of a healthy lifestyle. You go girl, what a wonderful example you are!!! HUGS!!

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BOHEMIANCAT 12/4/2011 5:27PM

    Way to go! Also congrats on getting your friend to walk with you!

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SOMMER75 12/4/2011 4:58PM

    Good for you! Sometimes you have to just stop and focus on yourself. Stress can manifest many negative things. Good luck to you and God bless

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 12/4/2011 2:58PM

    Praying you continue to feel better and that your friend does well with her commitment to walk with you. emoticon

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FIFIFRIZZLE 12/4/2011 1:18PM

    Go you good thing! Coconut cake friend really does care about you!
I think you won't be able to imagine yet how much more pleasant your life will be when you even stop listening to people whining. Better for you and better for them!

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I am awesome!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I put everyone else first and dont know if I'll ever change!I adore people of all races,religions,sizes!I could strike up a talk with Jack the Ripper...LOL..I hold doors,give up my seat to elders,Give help where help is needed,support abused women,volunteer at the old folks home,But,I come last!I have trouble putting Me first!My daddy's mama said we were conceited if we put ourselves before others...Grandma was sweet and loving but expected us to be grownups in the mind.She talked to us like we were grown folk.I was 4 the first time she made me kneel on the stairs and pray for an hour for saying..HUH!Now at age 51 im on a trek to try putting me first.Im afraid of what my kids and dh will think of me..will they think im going bonkers?Not speaking up to them and swallowing any comments i might have,has put me back on the road to FATTY MCFAT GIRL!I do not like confrontation,so i keep quiet when im dying to speak galpal asked me over for tea and talk,she brought out a coconut cake and cut me a giant slice...I didnt want the cake and tried to say so but she wouldnt hear me,i gave her son my cake and she says good huh?Of course he hollers,I ate it mama!So she says im a sorry friend and i apologized..where were my balls when i should have spoken up and said she was the sorry friend to force cake on me?She rolled her eyes and cut more cake for me!!I told her no cake please but she cut it anyway...why am i a challenge to my friends?They are expecting me to fail
Im expecting me to fail but im trying so damned hard to grow a pair and learn to speak up more...i like peace!
My mama always got on me for not speaking up
my husband scolds me for giving the waitress too much money
my daughter talks crap to me if i give the kids food
My opinion just dont matter
My neighbor brought over a ton of xmas cookies
I fed them to neighborhood kids
I put a sign on the front door..DO NOT FEED THE BEAR!
they all walk past it and laugh!
Kayla has a good idea...YELL YOUR HEAD OFF MAMA!!!
right,that'll get their attention for sure!
I am fat because of my weakness.
I am fat because I eat away my frustrations
I am fat because Im hurting inside
I have this,its just a matter of time... emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 12/2/2011 3:27PM

    This resonated with a previous me. I used to wonder whether I had actually spoken out loud sometimes, if I said something people didn't want to hear, they would ignore it. But hey, if you are speaking about your needs or wants, it's not actually OK for people to ignore you. From what you have been blogging for a long time, I think this is big work for you and maybe a big key to your ultimate success.
Well done, you, for getting to this!
I know it is very important to you, what other people think of you. And from what I can see, this hurts you very much. You do have to give yourself VIP status, among those other people. Self respect is important to us all. If you don't come first to yourself, you don't come first to anyone
It takes practice, that's for sure! And there might be an issue with volume control. Too quiet, no one notices. Too loud can't be ignored but it can be dismissed.
Your family are heavily invested in you changing back to how you were, so it might be an idea to practice with people not too close. Who might that be? Oooh, I know! Why not start out by visiting your coconut cake friend and talking about how you felt about her steamrollering your wishes. You could ask her to show you more respect in the future. Give it a whirl, what have you got to lose? emoticon
Hoping this unsolicited advice hits the spot.

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NAVYMOM133 12/1/2011 2:57PM

    Hi Susan,
You always leave such inspiring comments on my v/blogs. I want to be able to support you as well.
You are not alone. My family also pushes food on me and almost pouts if I don't indulge in the "party foods". This Thanksgiving, one of my sisters actually arrived at my parents (frazzled - she was staying with my youngest sister and family - they have two young daughters) and announced, "This will be the Thanksgiving where the food is too unhealthy to eat, right Mel?" I found that comment very unnecessary, and embarrassing for everyone. So what were my options? Eat everything to placate my sister??
It is such a hard thing to row against the current with our families. They are so caught up in who we were, and when we start changing it really is setting off the uncomfortable feelings in THEM. Isn't it ironic that when we are really shining, we tend to get the most flack about it?
I think that's why Sparkpeople is so valuable to me. You folks GET IT!! It's such a joy to share here safely, talk about our concerns, stumbles, wins, losses (which are WINS, right?! ;)
Stay true to your healthy YOU! We can hope together that one day, our families will be more able to support us fully. In the meantime, get your motivation bottle filled here so you can stand strong.
emoticon Here's a bullhorn, just in case! emoticon emoticon

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NSTARSMITH 12/1/2011 9:27AM

    Hey, there - we all have an outside and an inside and the trouble is getting 'em to match. Peace has gotta penetrate through the layers, otherwise you are in turmoil inside while everyone else is satisfied. Truth is you will have to RETRAIN everyone how to think of you. Give them some credit - they'll ADAPT as you transform. And you will NOT expire if others are not super-pleased. I think you need to grow that giant heart of yours big enough to enclose YOU - love, love, love you at least as much as everyone else. Otherwise you are enabling them to USE you which is not good for THEM or YOU! Keep posting!

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SHASSYSUE2 12/1/2011 1:31AM

    Sounds like to me our "friends" are 2 peas in a pod!!!! We just need to keep being true to ourselves and no matter what, not lower ourselves to fit into their lifestyle!! God tells to stand apart, so we are going to pull ourselves up and stand straight and stick to it!!!!! YOu go girl and YELL!!!!! Love Ya!! Shannon

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BARBAELLEN 12/1/2011 1:25AM

    Susan -- You've come so far in losing all that weight and becoming healthy. You know what you had to do to be so successful, and you know you've got to keep doing those things to stay healthy.

I think a quick U-turn on the road to FATTY MCFAT GIRL is in order so that you're back in the right place to work on those emotions. You know what to do, and you can do it!

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 12/1/2011 1:23AM


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PRAIRIECROCUS 12/1/2011 12:04AM

    I hope that you can be strong, following all the nutrition and
fitness teachings that you get here at SparkPeople. Feel confident
that you are doing the right thing, by following these guidelines.
No one ought to challenge you on that !

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I am Miss fix-it!!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I am the take charge,gett'er done,100 miles an hour type of person.It drives dh crazy when i want something done,and he takes a few days to comply,I WILL DO IT INSTEAD!!He thought when we married that girls didnt climb ladders/trees/roofs/mow grass/change oil filters on cars...stuff guys do.Mama he was happy I knew how to!When I met his family they were mortified when I took tools to the bathroom and repaired the sink and toilet...shoot,i wasnt spending 3 weeks putting my hands under the cockroach infested sink!And the toilet had algae growing changed now but..she dont like me not being as girly as they ALL are!My brother did right by me by teaching me so much and occaisionally I let the guys do it!My brother in laws think its great that im Miss fix-it!When I decide to rest,a bulldozer cant move me!I will put on my pj's and slippers grab some coffee and veg out!My dh does a double take and makes me laugh.I know im a busy person,nobody needs to tell me.I now take one day a week to be lazy because I need it!Taking the diet and exercise slow is hard but i will get there emoticon emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARTHASPARKS 11/30/2011 10:55AM

    Susan, we have a lot in common. I don't like to wait and would rather fix it/do it myself than wait. We women rock! Okay, you guys do, too but differently...

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WILSON425 11/30/2011 8:03AM


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FIFIFRIZZLE 11/30/2011 2:18AM


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SHASSYSUE2 11/29/2011 9:51PM

    You go girl!!!! HUGS!! Shannon

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MARVEEME 11/29/2011 7:11PM

    Many years ago, I was in the middle of replacing a fuel injector in my VW Squareback when a guy I met at work (now DH) drove past my apartment to see if I happened to be lingering outside. Little did he know he would find my butt up in the air and my head in the engine that day. At least the view was good enough for him to stop and ask if I needed help. Though I declined his offer and finished the job myself, he stuck around anyway. Today, I was up on a 4 acre roof. LOL

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NSTARSMITH 11/29/2011 6:58PM

    Woo Hoo! I say to your mad handy skills!!! I used to do a lot more but the arthritis slowed me down. Dang. I actually envy you! Go for it.

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ARLENE_MOVES 11/29/2011 6:13PM

    Good for you. Being able to take care of oneself in this day is important. Now, if I could just cook!

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MNOT2THICK 11/29/2011 5:56PM

    You are my kind of woman. I am the same way. I do not like to repeat requests and after the second time, I am doing it myself. I guess that is also because I do not have a hubbie. emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LIVINGFREE19 11/29/2011 5:23PM

    Wow! You can do a lot of 'man stuff' but that is awesome. It can take forever sometimes waiting for the male part of the house to help out for sure.
Knowledge is power!
emoticon emoticon

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The bell ringers for Salvation Army

Monday, November 28, 2011

Dont get me wrong the Bell ringers standing out in front of the stores are wonderful people!They deserve a medal for all the bad weather and pennies they get.Someone even went so far as to snatch and run with a kettle FULL of cash!That insessant ringing of the bell seems to stick in my head.I came out of JCPENNEY waiting for my husband to bring the car around and pick me and my many packages head was splitting with a migraine...that's when im the meanest!Most shoppers were gone by now and that lady rang that bell loudly for the length of time i was there waiting...please i begged GIVE IT A REST...your arm must be tired by now and my head is aching.....It got louder and louder..jingle jingle jingle...she ignored my soon as dh pulled up to load the bags she sat the bell down to smoke..Heeeey,how are ya?I heard hubby greeting someone...I was greedily swallowing some water and pain meds...I turned to look and he was speaking to the bell ringer....GRRR...I yelled out the window...Yeah howr ya doing?She turned so DH was confused and I was telling him...its ok dear dont worry,you can treat me to dinner now!...Guess who was standing outside ringing a bell at the restraunt?????ARG!! emoticonSUSAN emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 12/2/2011 3:52PM

    What a great depiction of the self-righteousness of some do-gooders. True charity asks a lot more of us, doesn't it! I am kind of dreading the melee of Christmas shopping, but thank goodness we don't have bell ringers. Though I like the sound of bells, so long as they are not used as a weapon!
Here in NZ the Sallies brass bands play carols, I LOVE that and hope it only arouses warm feelings in all.

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MARTHASPARKS 11/29/2011 11:32AM

    Those are good people but I can't imagine the reverberation of the bell with a migraine.

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FRANCESCANAZ 11/28/2011 8:45PM

    Every year my husband & i ring the bell on Friday evenings. We meet the nicest, most generous people, young & old. Also, each year my Junior National Honor Society members work in pairs on the Saturday before Christmas at the mall. They go all day, rotating one hour shifts. They love it! I think the bell ringing keeps them warm & singing. emoticon

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NSTARSMITH 11/28/2011 7:56PM

    Oh dear - nothing like a rotten migraine to bring out the worst, eh? I seriously doubt you object to the ringers: sounds like pure pain drove you to hollar ... well, I suspect the ringers will have the last ... ring? Hang in there. Put a few bucks in a kettle! Hope your migraines go away.

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BUELLRIDER 11/28/2011 2:40PM

    I would agree with you on the loudness of the bell. Friday I am helping my sister ring one at Walmart. Maybe I can wrap something in it to have it ring softer. I now, the bear bell I bought in Alaska would ring better. I wonder if my sister will let me get away with that. Wish me luck. emoticon

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AWONDERS59 11/28/2011 2:19PM

    My late grandmother rang the bell for over 75 out of her 102 years. Right up til she was 95

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I hope you all had fun!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Thanksgiving 2011 has come and gone and im still standing!!A few pounds the heavier but overall im feeling great!It was so much fun.My three out of four daughters were here and we celebrated with so much laughter.We tweaked a few recipe's for healthier options,drank alot of water,they didnt even know that I made the sweet potato pie with fat free canned milk,egg sub's and equal.No pie is left to tempt me either.The mac n cheese was made with low fat cheese and it was awesome.Today we got together and put up the Xmas tree and dec'd the house.I havent washed so many dishes in months.The kids use a cup and put it in the sink....whew!I havent had this much fun in years!!I hope you all had fun too...xoxoxoxox.... emoticonSUSAN

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FIFIFRIZZLE 12/2/2011 3:59PM

    Sounds lovely.
I love the cleanup after a good dinner party, time to reflect on all the fun. That said, I've been thinking, maybe Santa might bring you a dishwasher? You seem to have so many dishes in your life... And not all in a good way.


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LIVINGFREE19 11/28/2011 1:35AM

    That's awesome you had a great time and did well on the calories!!
emoticon emoticon

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SHASSYSUE2 11/28/2011 12:33AM

    I am so happy for you!!! I am glad that you had a wonderful time!!!! I got my house decorated this weekend to, now to get back to eating well, and getting back into the pool!!!! Have an awesome week!!!!

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KOFFEENUT 11/27/2011 11:06PM

    So glad it was a memory-building Thanksgiving - that's the BEST part of this holiday!!!

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MARVEEME 11/27/2011 8:43PM


Fun and laughs with family in exchange for doing more dishes? I'll take that over any posed alternative of those items, Amen!


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