Wednesday, November 30, 2011
I put everyone else first and dont know if I'll ever change!I adore people of all races,religions,sizes!I could strike up a talk with Jack the Ripper...LOL..I hold doors,give up my seat to elders,Give help where help is needed,support abused women,volunteer at the old folks home,But,I come last!I have trouble putting Me first!My daddy's mama said we were conceited if we put ourselves before others...Grandma was sweet and loving but expected us to be grownups in the mind.She talked to us like we were grown folk.I was 4 the first time she made me kneel on the stairs and pray for an hour for saying..HUH!Now at age 51 im on a trek to try putting me first.Im afraid of what my kids and dh will think of me..will they think im going bonkers?Not speaking up to them and swallowing any comments i might have,has put me back on the road to FATTY MCFAT GIRL!I do not like confrontation,so i keep quiet when im dying to speak up..example..my galpal asked me over for tea and talk,she brought out a coconut cake and cut me a giant slice...I didnt want the cake and tried to say so but she wouldnt hear me,i gave her son my cake and she says good huh?Of course he hollers,I ate it mama!So she says im a sorry friend and i apologized..where were my balls when i should have spoken up and said she was the sorry friend to force cake on me?She rolled her eyes and cut more cake for me!!I told her no cake please but she cut it anyway...why am i a challenge to my friends?They are expecting me to fail
Im expecting me to fail but im trying so damned hard to grow a pair and learn to speak up more...i like peace!
My mama always got on me for not speaking up
my husband scolds me for giving the waitress too much money
my daughter talks crap to me if i give the kids food
My opinion just dont matter
My neighbor brought over a ton of xmas cookies
I fed them to neighborhood kids
I put a sign on the front door..DO NOT FEED THE BEAR!
they all walk past it and laugh!
Kayla has a good idea...YELL YOUR HEAD OFF MAMA!!!
right,that'll get their attention for sure!
I am fat because of my weakness.
I am fat because I eat away my frustrations
I am fat because Im hurting inside
I have this,its just a matter of time... SUSAN