SUECHRIS50   57,456
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nursing home abuse:part 2

Friday, August 26, 2011

So,I get asked to come over to the nursing home!I got there and here are my old friends sitting in the office,looking angry and wont make eye contact.Miss administrator asks me exactly what I thought could be happening to the residents.I tell her about the bruises(Im aware older folk bruise easy)I tell her of the fear in thier eyes when Nurse Weird(thier nickname)comes in the residents room.I tell about Maudes soiled diaper!She turned to ask the patients to give thier side.Mum,nothing,notta!!!I said,Be mad all you want but I'm being your voices.At least they will have a reason to investigate if something happens.Nobody would talk to me,so I got up to leave and who should step in the room???Nurse Weird!!!The old folks were asked to wait outside.To make a long story short...she admitted to physical and mental abuse!She is on leave pending psychiatric counseling so she could get her job back.I left without any of the folks saying anything....they feel like I betrayed thier trust.....I would do the same thing again!! It's ok and I understand and I will go back next week because I love them all! They are pouting for now....I do feel like a traitor but just a little........ emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYSGARDEN 8/30/2011 4:16PM

    I agree with ourmama. They are afraid she will be back, and the abuse will be worse and more often. I'm glad the home handled it so quickly. Eventually the elders will realize she's not there, and they'll be back to being like they were before all this happened..... Way to go!

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SHASSYSUE2 8/27/2011 9:33PM

    You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing!!!! I am so glad that she is out of there until she gets help. It is the same thing that happens in so many abuse cases.. Nobody wants to admit that it is happening. Children will deny it, Battered Woman will deny it, and Seniors will deny it.... It is so sad... It takes strong and wonderful people like you to be their voice... I am so PROUD of you!!! HUGS!! Shannon

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TRESSWANN 8/27/2011 4:27PM

    You did the right thing. Thank goodness

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JFROGDIVA 8/27/2011 3:09PM

    GOOD for you!!!! When I lived in Florida, I was the DON of a nursing home & then a nurse consultant for the company!!!! It is SO important for people to come forward so that things like this can be investigated!!!! You did the RIGHT thing!!!!

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MSGUIDEDLEMMING 8/26/2011 10:52PM

    Good for YOU. The same kind of thing happened to my mother. She had no one to speak up for her except for me and my brother.
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BBORDEN86 8/26/2011 12:48PM

    Way to stand up for what you believe in!!! I'm surprised she admitted to that, but had you NOT reported that YOUR license would have been at jeopardy to continue to let it go on. emoticon

I know that's a tough situation to be in! The residents might be mad now, but they will be thankful when it's NOT happening anymore!! Give it time.

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TXGRANDMA 8/26/2011 11:57AM

    Good for you for standing up for those unable to stand up for themselves! That is intolerable to treat people that way! Hopefully "Nurse Weird" never is able to use the title "Nurse" again. If she is a licensed nurse, her license should be forcably revoked. You need to report this to the State Board of Nursing in the appropriate state.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LJCANNON 8/26/2011 10:30AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonThank you for standing up for them!! It is never easy to report any abuse because so often the victims are too scared to say anything. Obviously there was idence or Nurse Weird would not be gone (even temporarily).

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ALICIA214 8/26/2011 10:25AM

 

I have heard stories about abuse in nursing homes and I think it is shameful
it seems that bullying runs the whole spectrum and high time it is stopped.
emoticon for speaking out I am sure you will be forgiven.

emoticon

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 8/26/2011 10:21AM

    I agree, they are just afraid. Once they are sure they will be taken care of in love they will come around. emoticon

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MARVEEME 8/26/2011 10:17AM

    They're scared, but after a week without Nurse Weird, they'll come around.

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nursing home abuse?

Thursday, August 25, 2011

I had my day with the residents of a nursing home yesterday.They insinuated that Nurse Weird is hurting them and I cant tell anyone!She does not like me but I know she hates the patients there.It's in her mannerisms that I can tell. I overheard her telling another nurse that Maude could wear the soiled diaper all day for all she cared.Maude has early alzheimers!I was ready to rip her damned hair out I was so mad.She didnt see me standing there and turned to walk out.Really?You need another job lady!!!She turned white and looked shocked!She had the nerve to tell me what she went through.What she is going through???These people depend on her and she has been pinching them and rough handling them where the camera cant see!I went to the administrator and she told me she would look into my accusation.Did I do the right thing??Am I a traitor??I love those people like family,if someone is hurting them there will be Hell to pay....... emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JOYSGARDEN 8/30/2011 4:13PM

    Yes Susan, you did the right thing. Stay on it so it doesn't get buried. If she pinches and handles them rough, who knows what else she will do with some of the most childlike patients. I used to work in a nursing home, and I've seen the "good, the bad and the ugly". Thanks for sticking up for those who can't do it themselves.

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BBORDEN86 8/26/2011 12:45PM

    You did the right thing!!! It's your job to report suspected abuse. Whether true or not at least you did your job. I used to be a CNA, so I know. I'd rather report something I thought was happening and find out it wasn't, then find out it was and I didn't. Keep up the great work. More nursing homes need caring people like you!!!

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DIANAOR1 8/26/2011 7:32AM

    Bless your heart! You are doing the right thing.

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SUNSET24 8/26/2011 1:56AM

    You SWEET angel emoticon,

Thank God you were there to witness it all

thank you
thank you
thank you for telling, hugsssssssssssssssss

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GODDESS181 8/26/2011 12:46AM

    You did the right thing. I have no patience with caregivers who don't treat their folks well. Sorry you had to be put in that position. Hope the system works and you get support. No matter what she may think twice next time.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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MNOT2THICK 8/25/2011 11:16PM

    Great job. Thank you for defending the defenseless.

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SHASSYSUE2 8/25/2011 8:18PM

    GO GET EM TIGER!!!! Don't let anyone make you feel that you were in the wrong!! Hopefully this will put Nurse Ratchett on notice, that she is being watched!!! To many times we choose to NOT "get involved" and that is truly the crime!!! Love you Sister!!!

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JENNYD97 8/25/2011 7:15PM

    You go girl! If you didn't say something who would have, those patients need a voice! Like you said they are there for help.

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THEWINNER33 8/25/2011 4:01PM

    Bravo!! And if nothing happens from telling the administrator, every state has an state ombudsman for the elderly. The number should be posted in every nursing home. If it isn't check telephone book, tell the local police, tell thwe newspapera. I worked in a nursing home the last years befote I retired. Those dear people deserve the best. Most staff are kind and caring, but one rotten apple besmirched us all. Hugs, Marcia

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LGAR519 8/25/2011 3:57PM

    There are evil people in this world! I can't begin to tell you what I would do if anyone ever mistreated my 93 y/o Mom. You did the right thing!!!

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MARVEEME 8/25/2011 3:45PM

    You are a blessing, my dear. You have done the right thing, and the truth cannot be denied. If they choose to ignore your complaint, be watchful for a future incident. You have already done what you can on this incident, and if they choose to keep her on and just "write her up" for this infraction, either you will see an improvement in her dealings with the patients, or she will become even more secretive in activities of abuse, so you will need to be more creative to witness them. Good luck and my prayers are with you.

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SNOWANGELDIVA 8/25/2011 1:27PM

    Thank you so much Sue for defending the defenseless.
Bless you!!
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ARLENE_MOVES 8/25/2011 1:17PM

    You did a hard thing because of issues it could cause for you, but if you don't who will. We all need to stand up and report abuse of anyone. I recently did it for a friend who was putting up with spousal abuse. I ended up in court with her, but her spouse is now in jail because of it. She lived with me for awhile and I saw so much fear in her. It was so sad. These people can't or won't speak up for themselves and sadly sometimes their own loved ones don't believe them when they tell them.

Horrah for you!!!

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MRE1956 8/25/2011 1:07PM

    emoticon so much for doing the right thing for seniors! Would that more people show such courage.....



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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 8/25/2011 12:41PM

    I have a special place in my heart for the elderly. Plus I truly believe God wants us to care and love for our elders. Hurting an older person to me is as cruel and distasteful as hurting a child.

I'm so glad you spoke up. When someone doesn't have a voice we some times have to be their voice. emoticon

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BYEPOUNDS 8/25/2011 12:37PM

    A friend of mine had a similar situtation in a home where her mom lived. My friend started a journal of what she saw and heard. Later,there was an opportunity to share the information with someone who was interested and could make a change without my friend seemingly being a snitch. My friend's information was written factually about what her experiences were.

Sometimes there is an opening to help others when we least expect it.

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my mind takes me on journeys!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Yes its true!!And because it does I am the forgetful type.I could clean up my house in an hour but when I go into a room to clean and organize it,I end up doing something else.my husband says "I thought you were folding clothes.I was but started putting clothes in the box for goodwill and started doing stuff in the workout room!I was going through paperbacks to donate and ended up reading.I can read and picture the people and places like im on a journey with the person(s)I went to buy curtains and ended up sitting in McDonalds with a friend having a soda.My daughter,Kayla suggested I make a list and as I do what I planned to,mark it off.So,today I took her advice and it worked!!she is helpful sometimes.... emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RATFINKROB 8/25/2011 9:35AM

    My wife and I talk up a storm in the car. I sometimes find myself slipping into automatic driving mode and going to the wrong place. The other day we were going to a friends house and I drive to a different friends house that lives in a different city in the opposite direction!

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SWEETYOUNGTHING 8/25/2011 6:35AM

    I can relate - like a mouse in a woodpile!

Comment edited on: 8/25/2011 6:35:46 AM

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TRESSWANN 8/25/2011 5:15AM

    I can relate and think it's the mark of a great mind. I just tell people I am non linear and get there in the end.

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MAMAG476 8/25/2011 1:26AM

    I love it. Wait til you forget where you left the list. Thats always great. Ha Ha. Hope you are having a great week. We had a birthday dinner for my daughter. Very nice. Strawberry pie and cheesecake for dessert. emoticon

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MARVEEME 8/24/2011 11:02PM

    Look...............a squirrel! LOL

Sorry, that little scene just played in my head as I read your blog. I think we all get that way sometimes....at least us girls do. Sometimes, it's just not wise to let our minds wander.......without a leash.

Blessings!

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SHASSYSUE2 8/24/2011 10:24PM

    We were really separated at birth!!! Ha Ha Ha!!!!

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ARLENE_MOVES 8/24/2011 6:19PM

    I've found that age does it too -- I can go into a room and totally forget what I went in for. (No comment Barbara) So, I don't get distracted - just


emoticon
Arlene

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DIANAOR1 8/24/2011 4:13PM

    That's because we have too many things going on in our minds. We are always running around doing something. I know I am. Especially if you have kids and their extra curricular activities. Lately I, too, have been writing everything down otherwise I may forget. emoticon

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BARBAELLEN 8/24/2011 3:47PM

    You're not alone! Some may call it "attention deficit", but I call it "curiosity syndrome"!

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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 8/24/2011 3:36PM

    emoticon

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WINDANCER99 8/24/2011 2:19PM

    I can relate! I start doing something at home, get distracted doing something else and it might be an hour later when I remember what I originally set out to do. When I have errands to run or grocery shop I always make a list. If I don't some errands don't get done or I don't buy all I need at the grocery store.

Glad your list is helping you. emoticon

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Shassysue has a point

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

My funny spark friend Shannon(Shassysue)was talking about life insurance and burial plans and she is so right.It is so important to have a plan!My mom had some money paid into her plan but,the funeral cost was stupid high!Me and two of my sisters ended up having to pay it off.I loved her dearly but,that money could be buying my daughter her first car.Mom was not a fancy person and could care less how we buried her but,my two sisters had to be big shots and send her into the earth like a queen.You must be thinking I have no heart!Just the opposite.If money were no object,I would have done the same.None of us are well off and my other 2 siblings refused to pay.So,in a way its our fault for not getting together and having mom a plan.Shannon said throw her body out on an iceberg and let the polar bears eat her...LOL I agree !!Take my parts that are usable and creamate me at least when im gone I will be living on in several people plus i will be fertilizer for the garden....... emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TXGRANDMA 8/26/2011 12:02PM

    For me, I want to be creamated. It is the least expensive way to go. The urns can be anything, they don't have to come from the Funeral home. First, of course, I want them to harvest from me any usable organs, as I am an organ donor. I am a Hospice Nurse and see families being taken advantage of every day by the funeral industry, who for the most part, pray on the family's emotions at the time. The pre-need plan is the very best thing to do, then everything is spelled out ahead of time, and you know the wishes of the person themselves are being granted. No emotion in making a decision what to do with Grandma.

emoticon emoticonfor your loss.........

Comment edited on: 8/26/2011 12:03:52 PM

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BETTERHEALTH123 8/25/2011 10:02PM

    I don't think people are "thinking" too clearly when it comes to making funeral arrangements at the last moment or especially right after someone dies, (maybe that's why your sisters did what they did) but I definitely agree with what you were saying.

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BARBAELLEN 8/24/2011 12:37PM

    Hey, if you ever have second thoughts, I just found out they sell caskets and urns and such at Costco online!
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TOASTIE 8/23/2011 12:25PM

    It boggles my mind how expensive funerals can be. This is a good reminder that I should tell my kids that I want them to use the cheapest casket possible.

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MNOT2THICK 8/23/2011 10:34AM

    I am in agreement with you both. Use from me what you can and recycle me.

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old familiar patterns

Monday, August 22, 2011

I would not give up experiencing being a mother for anything or anyone.I gave birth to and raised 4 daughters.I have alot of anger issues and I used to keep it all inside until the point it all blew up at once.I broke my butt working two jobs,keeping house,taking care of our pets and being a wife.2 of my daughters just up and ran away in the 12th grade to avoid college.1 gave us 2 beautiful grandsons at age 15 and 17.I became a grandmother at age 32!!!I raised those two until they were 6 and 4.My anger surfaces when things get overwhelming and I just need space away from them to calm down.I get all the flack from them about "did you do what I asked?can you get me this and that and by the way I need to go here and there.I literally learned the word NO was not going to kill anyone!I go in the bathroom run a bath and soak/cry out anger or use my punching bag!(somebody stole it)Things weigh heavy on my mind when there are so many things to do and remember.My dear husband told me to breathe when I feel the sensations coming on(of anger)But,when he pisses me off and I start taking deep breaths?He gets mad!!i took the car for an oil change,where he told me to go and he says what kind of oil did they use???IDK I just got my therapist 18 months ago and I'm thankful I did or I would be on the front page of the newspaper emoticonMy life is awesome dont get me wrong but,I am falling back into old habits that make me gain weight.Not getting a snack,eating fast food,being too tired to make my healthy food,eating out of boredom,emotions.....I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth!! emoticonSUSAN

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TOASTIE 8/23/2011 12:34PM

    I really like the suggestion to breathe, and soaking in the tub also helps me to de-stress.

Take care of you -- you are worth it!

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BETTERHEALTH123 8/22/2011 11:47PM

    Susan, I know exactly how you feel. I many many times feel like I'm just a maid in my house. I have a teenage daughter at home (she works and spends most days with her friends when she's off) and a husband who works double shifts at times. I am the only one who washes all the dishes, vacuums, does the laundry and keeps the bathroom and kitchen clean. Luckily right now I'm retired so I have the time, but it GETS VERY VERY FRUSTRATING at times. I am the only one who walks the dog 3 - 4 times a day (including during the cold blistery winter months) that my older daughter left behind when she moved out.


I guess it's easy to find fast food to eat and to eat fast which is what I do also. I guess I don't know the answer, just that eating is comforting for a few lousy minutes and then your problems are still there anyway.... I think Martha-ambryce had some good advice.

As for what oil the place used; I'm sure the auto technicians know which type of oil to put into a car!!!!


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CRYSTLE4HIMTX10 8/22/2011 8:02PM

    Hang in there. emoticon It is good you can see that you are sliding back into old habits. That way you can stop them. emoticon

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TRESSWANN 8/22/2011 7:37PM

    Hang in there! I understand about the anger. It's one of my issues, bottle it in and then it comes out weird. Let it out and let go. You will move forward! People have your back!

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RAINBOWCHOC 8/22/2011 4:05PM

    sending you good support vibes, take one day at a time

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MARTHASPARKS 8/22/2011 3:50PM

    Okay, Susan, we have identified the problem but now we need to find solutions. When you get really angry, don't keep it in because you will start that self destructive behavior - bad eating, fast food. You want to replace those responses with something different: Take a five minute walk, jump rope, do some crunches, journal about the feelings. You should not hurt yourself because someone else has made you made - probably by hurting your feelings or making you feel inadequate. You are changing your behavior and saying "no" but the family doesn't believe it because you've backed off so many times before. Say it once and mean it, Refuse to engage in discussing it more or tell them that you have said no because you are trying to get healthy and their demands are in your way. They guilt trip you...now you tell them the truth. emoticon

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