Saturday, October 25, 2014
I weighed in this morning at 142.5. It's the lowest weight I've been at for years and it's less than three pounds away from my 1st goal weight of 139!
I say 1st goal weight because, although 132 is my ultimate goal, 139 is comfortably within the normal category on the BMI, I know that all my clothes fit at 139, and most importantly, it's less than 140! I have an emotional attachment to numbers in the 130s. Weird, huh?
On May 1st this year, I weighed 165. Even writing that number is stressful for me. I was in a bad period, and all the stress in my life showed on my body. Thankfully I found the will somehow to make the first step and made an appointment with a dietician. I lost 18 pounds within the first three months, and four pounds in the last three, hello plateauville! Honestly, I can't blame it all on a plataeu, my concentration has been spent looking for a job more often than not.
Anyway, even though my weight loss has slowed recently, it still is going gradually down, and I am still confident that I will get there.
In other news, I'm now working two part time jobs, one of which I like, and the other I don't. The job I don't like I have to work until the end of December because I'm under contract. Italy isn't a work-at-will country. If my employers fire me without a very good reason, they'd have to pay me anyway until my contract is finished, and if I leave early, they could sue me for damages. So, I'm staying and my schedule is crazy busy until the end of the year.
The new job is interesting and young and fun and I get to travel! I'll be in Dusseldorf at a trade fair in November. I'm really excited about it. If I can prove my value to the company (which I certainly intend to do) next year it'll be full-time and I'll be one happy camper!
So, in summary, I've got a bunch of awesome reasons to look forward to 2015. I'll be thin, employed, and with enough money to get my MIL out of my house and into her own apartment (that will be a HUGE deal to me, because she's driving me CRAZY!!
BTW, I'm taking a drawing class too, I thought it was a painting class because I read the description wrong, but it's a drawing class. I like it, and at the end of the course we're going to be having an art show open to the public for all the participants. Me -in an art show! lol
Thursday, September 25, 2014
I think I've turned a corner in respects to self-care. I'm a mom and wife and I have a part-time job, so you know how that goes. I often don't make myself a priority.
My husband works a lot and so I'm often preparing meals just for my son and myself. He's a typical 10-year-old and is not interested in vegetables at all, so I make him something simple and kid-friendly and in the end it's me, cooking for myself. The old me used to hate cooking and I'd often say "why cook just for myself? I have to do all that work and dirty all those dishes just for me?"
Well the answer is yes! And I'm doing it. The changes started with salads at lunch. There's no small effort there, I mean I have to wash and slice lettuce, peel and dice whatever else I want to eat, and then clean it all up (I guess the maid took the year off ).
It took some time to get used to that and make it a habit. Now, after a few months, it seems like second nature to look in the fridge and immediately go to the vegetable drawer to decide what to eat.
Last night, my MIL made a ragu (beef sauce) and pasta (of course). Since I'm not eating carbs in the evening, I took out a zucchini, sliced it and grilled it on the stove and ate that with the ragu over it. It was delicious, I didn't miss the carbs, and I ate an entire zucchini.
Today, at lunch, I took out and assembled the food processor and shredded up a half a head of cabbage to sautee up with last nights leftover chicken. I used to avoid that machine because of the cleaning involved, but you know what? It isn't that bad. To assemble, shred, and clean took less than ten minutes. My health is worth 10 minutes, don't you think? Now, it's simmering on the stove and I'm feeling proud of myself.
Some other ways I'm taking care of me: I ordered new tires for my car (which I normally forget about until my husband points out that I'm risking an accident). I also signed up for a painting class which starts next week, because I haven't been feeling very creative lately and I think I need some stimulation.
I'm excited about the weight I'm losing, and about the vegetables I'll be eating, and about my painting class. And, as always, I'm thankful for you, Sparkfriends! I wouldn't have stayed with the site for so long if it wasn't for you!
Friday, September 12, 2014
I love this and I wanted to share.
Thursday, September 11, 2014
One of the most valuable things Iíve learnt here on SP is that exercise can usually get me out of a funk. Yesterday, I needed it. I was home, bored, depressed and I needed to do something so I got my shoes on and did some walking, 8,000 steps to be exact.
I drove to a small mountain-top town nearby that I hadnít been to and explored. One of the cool things about Italy is that they try to keep their medieval architecture while incorporating the 21st century. It can lead to some cool discoveries, like this:
This is a cage that used to be used as a torture device. They would put their victim in and hang him up in the town square and people would throw things at him. I was taken aback when I rounded a corner and came upon it. Hopefully, itís used just for decoration.
Itís a little town called Mondaino that never advertises, no tourists know about it, and yet itís pretty to walk around and has a castle! Who knew?
It instantly brightens my mood to find treasures like this nearby. Add to that the endorphins from the exercise and the fresh air and I was ten times happier after.
And on the way home I came across this escapeeÖhope he got home safe!
Tuesday, August 19, 2014
This is not a diet blog, this is about death, love, and personal growth. I lost someone dear to me this week. I also celebrated my anniversary, and saw friends I hadnít seen for a long time. In short, itís been an emotional roller coaster. I gained a couple of pounds, but Iím not concerned about that, Iím back on track now, and more important Iím trying to process everything Iíve been through this week.
A friend of mine died last week, on Wednesday. I hadn't seen him in about 6 years, but it really didn't change how close I felt to him. There was a period of my life where we were always together and I really treasured him. I was so sad when I got the news that he was dying, I called him in his hospital room on Tuesday but I didn't understand anything he said. Later I found out he was on a breathing tube and was heavily drugged, which explains it.
I like living in Italy, but at times like these, when I want to be physically close to someone, it's very hard.
On Thursday I spoke to some mutual friends and learned that his family was planning on lying about how he died (he died of AIDS, they wanted to say skin cancer), and that they left his partner out of the obituary completely. He had had a strained relationship with his family for years because of his orientation and his life was lived with his partner and his friends, ie. the people who loved him and accepted him. For his family to come in and try and manipulate how others remember him was, in my mind, terrible.
I went through a range of emotions from anger to sadness to protectiveness and drafted a number of wicked emails and facebook posts -NONE of which I sent. In the end I closed the computer and walked away, giving myself some time to grieve. I'm proud of this, when I was younger I'd have gotten all fired up and launched a crusade against these wicked people. What I figured out now is that they aren't wicked, they're sad, and in pain, and caught in a paradigm where they are convinced they're right and don't understand why the world is against them.
And besides, what could I do from where I am? He wasn't a man who would have fought for himself, he never made a fuss. He really was someone who loved peace and God and his family. He wanted everyone to get along and I know deep down he'd have loved to introduce his partner to his family, but he wasn't a fighter. What right did I have to become one on his behalf? I debated about this for days. In the end I didn't need to though, it all turned out well, even beautifully.
His numerous friends left lots, I mean a huge number of sweet loving tributes to my friend, his partner AND his family on his facebook page and then the funeral home guestbook. No accusations, no recriminations, just love, sympathy and acceptance. The love everyone expressed for my friend and the memories were overwhelming. I can't describe to you how amazing they were. It was powerful reading each tribute that contained memories of his partner, and of his family in the same paragraph. No one left anyone out. In doing so they effectively erased any chance the family had to marginalize his partner and his lifestyle.
They bombarded the family with love during the last 4 days, and it worked. The family spokesperson made a powerpoint of photos to play during the service yesterday and his partner was included in many of the photos. The service (officiated by his father, who is a minister) was about love. About Godís love, love for each other, all kinds of love. My friendís partner was there, the family was there, only kind words were spoken. I couldnít be there, but the people I heard from afterward said it was an amazing ceremony. That theyíve never been to a service so loving and peaceful. My friend would have been thrilled. Heíd have been thilled at the maturity of his friends, who didnít respond to ugliness with more ugliness, but who responded with love. He'd have loved to see his partner included in the powerpoint presentation played in his father's church in front of everyone. And heíd have been thrilled with his brother who, last night, wrote a long, heartfelt response to all the messages with kindness and maturity.
I know it sounds cliche, but this week I learned that love really can win some battles. And that life is short, so love each other out loud, and tell people how you feel, often.
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