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How to succeed at being healthy

Friday, January 11, 2013

I've been on this site since 2009, off and on. My weight has gone up and down.

What I have learned so far:

One, small, good, healthy choice can lead to another and another and another.

One step repeated by another step can lead to miles walked.

One positive thought can lead to a smile.

One affirmation repeated can lead to better choices.

Cheering one other person on makes me think less about myself and makes doing the right hing more automatic.

Each day I struggle. Each day is faced with millions of decisions. Each day I have to tell myself "I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY". And I have to repeat that over and over again. When I reach out to others and cheer them on, it makes me feel better. Feeling better in a positive way, makes me choose better. Giving in to negatives NEVER works to boost a healthy decision. Changing my mindset is important to getting this weight off and getting stronger and eating better. Changing my habits will take time, daily. But it will be worth it because I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY!

I like challenges.

I like getting trophies and goodies and noticed.

I feel motivated when I know someone else cares.

I like the feeling I get when I push myself hard.

I like feeling successful.

All of those likes will keep me going!

Oh, and: I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASTRA58 1/11/2013 11:12AM

    This is a great post!
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LJOYCE55 1/11/2013 10:48AM

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JACKIE542 1/11/2013 10:12AM

    You have learned many great things. emoticon emoticon

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DLDROST 1/11/2013 10:08AM

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CAGMUAHFO2 1/11/2013 10:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Divorce vent (not mine)

Wednesday, January 09, 2013

A young couple I know is struggling and the man has decided to go through with a divorce. This decision was not easy. It was not quick. They tried to work it out.

They are/were each others only boyfriend/girlfriend. Only partner. They dated in high school and college. And took the natural step.

She is a neat, organized, nosey, stay-at-home kinda gal.

He is a laid back, helpful, quiet-yet social, kinda guy.

All relationships take work. All relationships have bumps.

Initially, I was against this idea. (as if I have any right to an opinion). I love commitment. I love marriage when it works. I love the idea of a couple who met in school, became besties, and live happily ever after! But they are not happy.

I am venting because the couple worked together for years. Where I work. People saw them grow up and become husband and wife. This is affecting the staff where I work. The wife moved to another job after they got married, so she is not around anymore. But, some of the staff are friends with her. And one staff member went crazy about it and got herself fired!

Fired girl is going through a bitter divorce herself. She is also friends with both the people involved, but chose to align herself with the wife. And then claimed some false things about the husband to try and get him fired.

I find this all very sad. I am also divorced. I have a child with my ex husband, so we still have contact with each other. Life (meaning me) was bitter after. But I was (truth be told) miserable in the marriage. It took a few years to finally see my role in all of it. My ex actually did the noble thing, in that he took all the bullets for the ending of the marriage. He allowed me to be the one everyone sympathized with. But I realized, again, years later, that he had been suffering too. It was very hard for him.

I guess its made me realize that taking sides is silly. It's not anybody's business but the couple involved. Sure, they need a support group, but that support should be constructive. Not all about ripping apart the other person. That doesn't help, in the long run. Vent. Be angry. But then, focus on yourself. Find what makes you happy and fulfilled. Do not remain a victim!

And remember, both people make, or break, a relationship. Perhaps it is a simple as enabling a horrible behavior to occur. Or ignoring signs of a problem. This may not seem as severe as cheating, but it is still a contribution to the ending of a relationship. Not hearing/listening to the other. Feeling like you know better than that person how they actually feel. Making assumptions. Being passive-aggressive. Not communicating. All Killers of relationships. All take two.

Okay. Vent over. I wish them all well.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASTRA58 1/9/2013 9:36AM

    This post is very timely for me because I will be going through a divorce very soon. My husband is the one who left because he'd been miserable for years. He is also doing the noble thing, being the "bad guy". Your post has made me realize just how much he had been hurting to need to move on and that I can't let our friends put me in the role of the scorned wife, nor should I take on that role myself. We are trying to stay friends and keep everything amicable. I think if I keep this in mind, it will help me to do so.

Thank you for this.

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JBEAUFORD 1/9/2013 9:27AM

    in some instances, yes. This isn't always the case though, especially when there are issues like infidelity, addiction, or abuse. Many times those issues kill a marriage because they don't reveal themselves until after the vows, and no matter how much one person may try to overlook or forgive or ignore or tolerate it, they have no fault in it in most cases.
I did not make my ex call me abusive names. I did not force him to lay on the couch and order me to fix him food, wash his clothes, care for the children, or anything else because his "job" earning a paycheck was done and he didn't feel like he needed to do anything more. I didn't hold a gun to his head and make him start dating the daycare teacher while we were still married.
I wasn't perfect, but I will never accept that the divorce I went through was my "fault". It was the toughest decision Ive ever had to make, and it was not taken lightly, because I do not agree with divorce in virtually every circumstance, except adultery or abuse. Victims of abuse often are made out to be the cause or reason the abuser does what they do. It is a control issue.

Not trying to get on a soapbox or anything but it doesn't always take two to tango. Had any of this behavior shown itself before getting married, it never would have happened, but abusers in particular are very good at hiding this sort of behavior until they have their victim trapped.

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LADYJ6942 1/9/2013 9:20AM

    Great blog and it is very true. So many take sides and don't see it from the other persons side. I too am divorced and it crushed my ex and he still has difficulty. I didn't appreciate him for who he is, instead I took advantage of him. It's been 4 plus years and I'm now remarried and this time it is way different and I am insanely happy.

I agree, outsiders need to not cast opinions or pic side, just be the sounding board for them to vent to so they can process the thoughts the need to to make a sound decision and have logical conversation with the other party over the issues.

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Time to Spark

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

Finding time to Spark...

I am nervous that next week I will fall apart. I will be back at school full-time. Working part-time. Continue to be a single parent to my awesome teenage daughter.

I love mornings where I can sit, plan, blog, workout.

A lot of this will change next week.

I think I will start bringing my computer everyday and using time before class to do my morning routine. I will have to see if that will work for me. (carrying it along with heavy nursing books is a pain--literally--I have a nerve issue in my neck).

But, in the mean time, I need to get going.

Spark ON!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OHIOSTAR58 1/8/2013 8:39AM

  Remenber to take time for yourself. You are worth it.

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ADELCASALE 1/8/2013 6:43AM

    You have a great plan! Stay the course! emoticon

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Needed: will power around friends!

Monday, January 07, 2013

I went out to lunch with a friend from school. I had it planned out. I was going to order pizza with veggies and eat 2 slices and box up the rest. No more.

Ha! 1000+ calories later...

I had three slices of pizza, a house salad, and ice cream!

Geeze! What happened???

I even worked out before I left, had a good breakfast, drank plenty of water.

Now, I just feel like throwing in the towel for the day. But, I am not gonna. I am going to take it one minute at at time. Do some more workouts. Eat fruit and veggies only for dinner (if I do eat any dinner). And I am going to learn from this day.

I have to stick up for myself. I am the only one who can/will do it. I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY!!! I repeat: I DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JTROBERTSON 1/7/2013 4:05PM

    Pizza is one of those foods that's easy to go over on calories with, and overeat in general. I feel your pain!

Sounds like you've got a good "bounce back from an oops" mentality though. Keep it up!

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Time keeps on slipping...

Sunday, January 06, 2013

Into the future.

So, what wastes my time?
-tv
-facebook
-driving (to and from school, my daughter's activities)
-studying for school!!!
-work
-TV (kitty cats snuggled up to me on the couch)

Hmmmm. tv.....

I use it to relax. But I have promised myself that I will do at least 15 min of exercise while watching tv daily. Combining tasks will be good. And I won't have to feel guilty.

JUST DO IT!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CALIFSUE 1/6/2013 10:05AM

    Wow, that hit home for me. Made me think what wastes my time!
- TV
- Facebook
- Work
- TV
- TV
If I used all the time I spent watching TV planning my meals and exercise, I would be losing weight a lot faster.

emoticon for the eye opener!

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